the way men look at me...

[Annaiyah]

It's extremely nervewracking when a man looks at me for any longer than two seconds, because then i don't know if he's looking at me because he suspects that i'm trans and he's trying to figure me out or if he thinks i'm cute or something. The uncertainty really makes my skin craw and annoys me!

I've had this happen to me quite a few times. On my way to the doctor's I'm walking down the street and these two older guys looked at me grinning as one of them pointed me out. I did look one, kept my composure and kept my way down the street. On another occasion I've had a man look at me as he and i passed each other in different directions, and from the corner of my eye i detected he was staring as he was walking. Once i looked back, he turned and looked ahead and kept going. A couple of times i've had men look at me smiling while riding in cars down the street.

Just something i wanted to share.

[karenpayneoregon]

I would take this in a positive manner, consider you are appealing to them as a female. The more you believe in yourself the more others will too 

[RobynD]

Yeah i try to look on these instances as positive that someone is just interested in my look, style etc. It depends on the "creep factor" too, is it overly sexual or harassing look, threatening, or just curiosity is what i try and access.

[Maria77]

You can never tell what others are thinking.  But i know how you feel and have felt it myself.   Hugs.

[barbie]

Yes. You may learn soon that you have better ignore those stares, or just smile. Both men and women watch women, but no so much men. Women have been grown up while constantly being watched by people since they were a little girl. People do not watch so much my two sons, but always watch and sometimes evaluate the beauty of my little girl.

While visiting the DC area of the US last week, I was relieved as men stared at me, but always smiled at me in the end. Those men were at convenient stores, airports, restaurants, and etc. Strangely I could read some satisfactory expression in their smiles. The expression was far different from those old men in my country (S. Korea) who just stare at me without any emotion, which I hate but have to endure.

 

barbie~~

[Michelle_P]

Barbie, I don't think American men are used to seeing legs like that.  Damn, girl!   

[Lyric]

It is interesting how people of different cultures behave in public, Barbie. I think the fact that they are looking at all means you're well worth looking at, though, which you are. Your legs are amazing.

Being stared at is just one of those things women have to accept in life. I recall reading a quote by the actress Diana Rigg, who said she was never comfortable being seen as something of a sex symbol, but when men began to stop looking at her the same way she found she missed it.

I never really even think about whether anybody's staring at me unless somebody whistles or honks a horn or something, which has happened a few times.

[barbie]

Barbie, I don't think American men are used to seeing legs like that.  Damn, girl!   

In the rural area of Maryland, I did not see any single woman who was wearing a skirt. All wore short or long pants! I was perplexed that nobody was wearing skirt except me.

But, in the National mall of the DC, I saw a few young ladies who wore a skirt, and high heels, too! They were so much fashionable like girls in Paris. But at that time, I was wearing short pants, which I had purchased at Wal-mart.

barbie~~

[Ashey]

You're a woman... just have to learn to tolerate and ignore when men are looking you up and down, staring at you, turning back to look at you, etc.

[barbie]

It is interesting how people of different cultures behave in public, Barbie. I think the fact that they are looking at all means you're well worth looking at, though, which you are. Your legs are amazing.

Being stared at is just one of those things women have to accept in life. I recall reading a quote by the actress Diana Rigg, who said she was never comfortable being seen as something of a sex symbol, but when men began to stop looking at her the same way she found she missed it.

I never really even think about whether anybody's staring at me unless somebody whistles or honks a horn or something, which has happened a few times.

As men watch me so frequently, I now try to avoid any stare from men. But this also causes some problem.

Two days ago, I went to a restaurant in the front of my university to have lunch alone. Of course, I felt that everybody watched me, and I just sat on the chair to eat a meal. I did not look around at all. Just eating. When I nearly finished my meal, a gentleman approached and said hello to me. I know him. He visited my university to have a seminar, but I did not give any glance at him and his group of people. He probably thought that I ignored him, but it was not my intention.

Yesterday night, I had dinner with my friend and his friend who said that he also had seen me in the restaurant. I explained to them why I have to avoid the eyes of men, and they understood it very well.

Yes. Sometimes I enjoy that kind of attention, especially from young and beautiful women, but in other times, it is not pleasant at all, especially when old men study me. This is our life!

barbie~

[RobynD]

I agree with you that this often seems the case, however it is a learned and social response to those around them. There is nothing very biological in it and we should not give them a pass because of testosterone as it were.

Not saying you were saying that, but sometimes that thing sort of occurs. Let's teach young males to respect women and socialize in a non offensive way. Everyone will be better for it in the long run.

[V M]

Hi friends

Please keep site rules in mind when posting, if this topic turns into a 'Man Bashing' thread it will be locked and possible warning levels may be issued

Rule

5. The posting of messages on the chat or forums which are of a threatening tone; intended solely to communicate sarcasm, contempt, or derision; are intended to belittle or ridicule a person or group; to disgust the viewer; contain obscene or pornographic materials; which are intended to titillate; or which depicts/promotes illegal acts; will not be permitted.

Thank you

V M

[Soli]

I'll jump into this 

I enjoy all the attention I get from men, I really do (even those who stop walking and stare for like 2 minutes as my dog sniffes). Whether they see me as a freak or think I could be a woman, I dunno and never could know, so... I see the bright side. Actually, I feel a bit as if I was on a stage when I walk down the street since everyone especially men turn their head to look my way. Maybe that's how cis women feel. I don't and can't really know that either. All I know is I get the attention of people and most don't laugh. I like myself when I look in the mirror or in the parked car windows as I walk by, so my brain makes that link... I must be of interest of some sort for them. Cool.   Can't wait for next step, shorts and skirts. My legs rock 

[sparrow]

I've had a few guys approach me from behind, subtly turn to check out my frontside... and stumble with a double-take.  I love it every time.  When dudes check me out and are disgusted by what they find, it's like a ruler to the knuckles -- they might be a little less inclined to objectify somebody next time.  Also, it lets me know that I'm as hot as I think I am.  As if I needed a bigger ego.

[Debra]

Yeah I tend to dress pretty nice / fashiony so I get a lot of looks and catcalls and sometimes I do wonder if it's admiration or pointing out trans-ness. I definitely don't go walking downtown alone at night, let's put it that way.

I'm actually thinking of taking a self defense class this weekend just to know some basic moves.

[V M]

I notice guys checking me out from time to time, some of them seem nice and it did take a little getting use to

Most of the time I'm fairly indifferent about it and just go about my own business, I've only met a couple of guys who I found to be very interesting

But you never know when Prince Charming might show up to sweep you off your feet LOL

[2cherry]

If you notice others looking at you, you obvious look at them because you noticed. I know, because I did it myself. They might think the same thing as you do, instead they thinking: why'she looking at me? because not many woman look at men, and it sends a signal we don't understand.

[Ashey]

If you notice others looking at you, you obvious look at them because you noticed. I know, because I did it myself. They might think the same thing as you do, instead they thinking: why'she looking at me? because not many woman look at men, and it sends a signal we don't understand.

Doubt it. You can tell if a man is deliberately looking at you...

[2cherry]

Doubt it. You can tell if a man is deliberately looking at you...

If you noticed it, you looked at him too. It's impossible to tell if someone looking at you unless you stare them in the eye. And if you do, then you never know who looked at who first. They might stare behind you, beneath you, above you, besides you, or simply daydream. So it's paranoia.

[V M]

That's enough arguing over who looked at who first

Topic locked