The Real You?

[Laura Smith]

Hi y'all
I am on vacation all week - excellent!
Anyway, down to the topic at hand
As I am on vacation, I am dressing en femme all the time
And I feel great, at ease, I would even say I'm happy

As I am not full time, when I am not dressed as my true self, am I usually irritable, basically very unhappy

What's your experience?

Is there, or was there a definite contrast in your feelings between dressed en femme and male mode?

How did you cope with the back and forth of female/male mode?

[Tristyn]

Though I am not mtf, I think I can relate to your situation here. Thing is once I came out as trans, I never wanted nor felt the need to switch back to girl mode. I think I might have to though, painfully, once I begin working unless I get my name and gender marker legally changed by then. Yeah, it's too painful for me to switch into something I am not. So of course you would be irritable and unhappy when you are not being the real you. I even go mute sometimes, but in my case, it is because I am not on hormones and my legal name as well as my gender marker tell people to refer to me as a female, which brings me much grief, discomfort, low self-esteem, self-hatred, anxiety, depression, and even suicide ideation. Yep, all points to gender dysphoria I guess.

[kaitylynn]

When I was younger, attire meant a lot to me.  There was a distinctness between masculine and feminine clothes.  Now that I am older, there are just clothes.  I usually wear jeans and T's when out and about.

What the early days did for me, when there was the division is help me to gauge who I am on the inside by what I was able to witness on the outside...not sure that makes sense.

[2cherry]

I never went back and forth. One day, I just went all-in. 

[Tristyn]

I never went back and forth. One day, I just went all-in. 

Yeah, that's exactly how it went down with me.

[Deborah]

Since being on HRT for a while I am the real me now all the time.  What I'm wearing doesn't make any difference.  It's been a very liberating feeling.


Sapere Aude