Going to a religious event (Christianity)

[Pogotractor]

My friend is religious and we have been talking about the Bible a lot lately. I have become curious although I don't have any kind of fate. I am also a bit worried about her since she belongs to a group that is very different and more strict than mainstream christianity here. She seems happy and we have had very deep dicussions about pretty much everything. She doesn't think that being transgender is bad and she respects me. She accepts me as a man. Homosexuality is a different thing but she says that nobody is perfect and people shouldn't judge each other. People should just live in peace and let the God do the judging. She doesn't think that God made me female or anything. This world isn't perfect so that's why my body is a mess.

She invited me to come to a meeting. I promised I would come. I mean I really want to see what it is like and if she is safe there and so on (so far it seems like everything is ok). She is like a little sister for me so I really want to be sure. And I actually like learning about the Bible and the way they think about it. This group is really focused on the Bible. It's interesting. But. I dont pass and I can't pretend to be a female. I have a male name officially. I am afraid of what will happen. My friend is fine. She is very intelligent and kind but everyone are not like that. I am tough. I manage but if I walk out or say something inapropriate for that environment (I never get aggressive but I don't let people misgender me) I might hurt my friend and her reputation. She is kind of fragile. That community and her religion are basically her whole life.

Also. If you know about the Bible I would like to know if there is anything helpful I could use in there. I would appreciate quotes especially. I think they will most likely just leave me be but I keep thinking about that meeting/event like something horrible will happen. I must be prepared.

[Rachel_Christina]

I would go, and even if the worst happens, just listen, do not react, for the sake of your friend. Thers no point in arguing back and forward, they will be the ones feeling ->-bleeped-<- for attacking you if they do, if you retaliate then the wont feel bad!
Just go and let us know how you get on!

[Pogotractor]

I would go, and even if the worst happens, just listen, do not react, for the sake of your friend. Thers no point in arguing back and forward, they will be the ones feeling ->-bleeped-<- for attacking you if they do, if you retaliate then the wont feel bad!
Just go and let us know how you get on!

I have noticed that arguing back rarely does anything good. You are right. I must be the one who is calm and polite. Who knows. Maybe there will be another transperson they meet or there will be someone in their family. If I let nasty comments get to me I could make it harder for someone else. And I need to be really careful for my friend. She doesn't deserve anything bad anymore. TRIGGER WARNING! I have often been afraid for her life. The religion has been like her last hope. I really hope that the community is "good enough".

[Eevee]

Go, take a lot of notes, and ask as many questions as you can. The way I see it is that you have no obligations to impress anyone there. It is their job to impress you and you hold the judgement in your hands. I'm sure your friend will appreciate the fact that you went since this means so much to her, especially if it goes well. If this doesn't go well, then maybe she will have to reflect on that to remain your friend.

[Pogotractor]

Go, take a lot of notes, and ask as many questions as you can. The way I see it is that you have no obligations to impress anyone here. It is their job to impress you and you hold the judgement in your hands. I'm sure your friend will appreciate the fact that you went since this means so much to her, especially if it goes well. If this doesn't go well, then maybe she will have to reflect on that to remain your friend.

I think that they actually like people asking questions. They have a lot of material about pretty much everything. I could try to make a list of questions. Questions that hey don't usually get asked right away.

I got to be careful. She is like family. More family than my "real" family. Our friendship has always been a little odd but I just take care about her. No matter what she can always count on me.

[mac1]

.........................

I got to be careful. She is like family. More family than my "real" family. Our friendship has always been a little odd but I just take care about her. No matter what she can always count on me.

Then don't do any thing to compromise that relationship.

[Pogotractor]

Then don't do any thing to compromise that relationship.

Oh, I just thought that what if my worst case scenario is the thruth and it's some harmul cult. I still would just have to remain calm and be someone she can trust. I do that. I have done difficult stuff. I can do it. The best that can happen is that everyone is respectful and I have fun.

Life... Why does it happen?

[RenegadeGirl]

Of course I don't know your friend, but is it worth considering if she is the sort of person that would regularly go to a place where the people are intolerant and/or vocally abusive towards other people. Of course there are always things people don't tell each other, so it isn't guaranteed that there are or aren't intolerant people at the group, but that's no more than the usual risk of walking down the street is it?

Lily

[Rebecca]

The only god should be allowed to judge you part bodes well for you.

Playing the open mind approach should put them in presentation mode to make you think well of them. Your doing so openly should show your friend how much you are trying for her.

I like Abraham Lincoln's approach to religeon "When I do good I feel good. When I do bad I feel bad. That is my religeon". He really had some great lines.

If they get all hardcore hitting Genesis or insisting everything is true you could have a wee bit of fun and innocently ask about "Cain's wife".

Born and still am Catholic but with a few tweaks Life is all about choices after all how can we be fairly judged if we are not truly free to make our own choices.

Like I tell my kids by all means listen to anyone who wants to talk. Take what is of use to you and don't get hung up on the rest of it.

In the end it's an opportunity both to meet people and show your friend how much you care so should be win/win really.

[ChasingAlice]

i can totally relate!

I am going to church this Sunday for the first time in years and i am nervous, because i am not the most socially graceful person. It is the church that is most active within the community, so i know there will not be an issue with them. i feel kinda dumb because i am not really Christian at all anymore. i am quiet and shy, but my hormone treatment has eased that some. i really hope that everything goes well, because i'm not really into online/app dating or bars.

as far as the community is concerned, i've had multiple problems within the community and the most severe i can't even talk about. i've seen multiple therapists and one place refused treatment even with a letter, so i am kind of bitter to say the least.

oh well nothing ventured - nothing gained right. at this point i am like whatever.

[Rebecca]

Good thing with church it doesn't matter how bad you screw up if you show up with sincerity and ask people to forgive they kinda have to.

Standing in a church for one hour a week no more makes you a christian than standing in your garage for an hour makes you a car. You are what you are kinda thing.

Faith is kinda like electricity you can't really see it but you can see what it does.

Can't remember source but someone said "I don't believe in a god but I believe in those that do". That was a nice sentiment.

Like anything there is the potential for good and bad intentions. For those that use it as inspiration to be nice. Go for it and may whatever god you choose bless you.

For those that try to use it as a weapon or to divide people well they can F@#$ off lol.

Final thought..... religious wars..... who is the one true god..... People actually killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend. Like seriously.

Really helps puts it all in perspective.

[Pogotractor]

ChasingAlice, how was your sunday? I hope nothing bad happened. I know the feeling of being very clumsy socially. It's tough to try anything new when people have treated you so badly before.

So, yeah. I am sorry I couldn't come back earlier. Thank's a lot for every single reply! 

I went to this meeting/gathering (I don't know how they would call it in English). It was yesterday and all went really well!  I couldn't sleep the night before and basically it was like I was going to a battlefield. But as I arrived many came to talk to me. They seemed very happy to see a new face in there. New people in there are rare. Some seemed a little nervous and I got few odd looks but people still just seemed genuinely happy to see me there. And I don't know what's with them but everybody were very tall! Me and my friend were like hobbits. Many asked us if we are relatives/siblings. Maybe because we are both hobbits. 

They discussed about some text in the meeting. I think they were even trying to be polite to me in there since homosexuality was mentioned in the text but nobody said anything about it. (I am visibly queer) Otherwise they pretty much talked about every little detail. And they avoided gendered language when they talked to me. Nobody tried to gender me. That is rare.

It was very positive experience. I could even think about going there again. There was a good speech and everything. I liked those people.

[ChasingAlice]

ChasingAlice, how was your sunday? I hope nothing bad happened. I know the feeling of being very clumsy socially. It's tough to try anything new when people have treated you so badly before.

So, yeah. I am sorry I couldn't come back earlier. Thank's a lot for every single reply! 

I went to this meeting/gathering (I don't know how they would call it in English). It was yesterday and all went really well!  I couldn't sleep the night before and basically it was like I was going to a battlefield. But as I arrived many came to talk to me. They seemed very happy to see a new face in there. New people in there are rare. Some seemed a little nervous and I got few odd looks but people still just seemed genuinely happy to see me there. And I don't know what's with them but everybody were very tall! Me and my friend were like hobbits. Many asked us if we are relatives/siblings. Maybe because we are both hobbits. 

They discussed about some text in the meeting. I think they were even trying to be polite to me in there since homosexuality was mentioned in the text but nobody said anything about it. (I am visibly queer) Otherwise they pretty much talked about every little detail. And they avoided gendered language when they talked to me. Nobody tried to gender me. That is rare.

It was very positive experience. I could even think about going there again. There was a good speech and everything. I liked those people.

I had transport issues and was not able to attend and uber and lyft were not available fast enough. Next week it is.