I'm in an odd situation where I typically go to the therapist and endocrinologist fully dressed, but around the house when the wife and daughter are home, I have to present male for now. The wife has only known about my little quirk about 3 1/2 months, and isn't ready to see me yet. I'm OK with that as a temporary state. When I return home while dressed as myself, I have to pull the car into the garage, close the garage door, text my wife, and wait until she texts back that she has sequestered herself at the far end of the house. (Transphobic much?)
A couple of weeks ago, I had a therapy appointment early in the morning, and would have arrived home about when my wife was to leave with her friends on an outing. Well, being seen by them simply wouldn't do. (I don't give a damn, I mean I'm running around fully dressed, stopping at shops, grocery stores, and whatnot. She's worried about HER humiliation and gossip.). So, I was directed to not return home until she texted me that she and her friends had left the vicinity.
I told her not to worry about it. I'd just stop on the way home and have a late breakfast somewhere. Silence... I just got The Stare for several seconds.
The next day I mentioned that I had breakfast the day before at a Boudin Cafe. They made a really good French toast. Again, The Stare...
Last week, I dropped her and her friends off to take a ferry for a day-long outing, went home, changed, and spent the day out shopping. Wig shop, the Apple Store, lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, etc. No problems, and got "Ma'am"ed all day. I obviously don't pass, but folks are so nice and polite here...
I had one funny thing happen at lunch. I was at the counter, and a couple of women at the far end of the counter kept glancing at me. (Yah. I know...). One of them got up, walked over to the counter next to me, and started toying with a stack of mugs there, making some comment about a specialty drink they make. Then she asked if I'd like to join them, as they were moms out escaping from the kids, who were off shopping on their own. Something felt a little off to me, so I thanked her but politely declined. We chatted for a minute, then she went back to her friend. I didn't really want to become the subject of "My Lunch With One Of THEM", or get put in a position where I'd feel obligated to Explain Everything. I just wanted to have lunch quietly. They might have been harmless, but it just felt not quite right.
So, for me going out dressed can be less stressful than home!
I'm adjusting that, though. My wardrobe is 'drifting'. I'm home presenting as male right now, yet everything I'm wearing except the polo shirt is from the women's department. My T-shirts are all from the women's department, and nobody's said anything about the slightly shorter sleeves. Come the cooler weather, I'll probably pick some v-neck sweaters to pair with the tees. Jeans are Gloria Vanderbilt Size 6 Missy cut, or Size 8 regulars. Black canvas sneakers from Target, or sometimes Adidas Neo slip-on racers.
I'm also on HRT, and the wife knows about it, and the expected effects, as well as getting electrolysis. In a year or so, with any luck, switching to presenting female will involve not much more than popping on a wig, and making a minor adjustment or two.
