new here not sure what im doing

[alice1234]

so im not sure how to say this im new here. a quick transition history i went full time about 7 and a half years ago in 30 now the first few years i documented my transition on you tube but deleted the channel a couple years ago. when i decided to go "stealth" is when i quit the job were i meet my now wife i quit therapy and i stopped going to my support group. i  meet my wife during the first year of my transition so she knows and my step children know she told them before we started dating. i have never spoken about it with the kids its an off limit subject for me over this past year there has been a few moments that have bothered me. my daughter her fiancee my wife and i  were having dinner and she was talking about having lesbian moms (my wife and i ) then she said transgender as well and i looked at her and just said no. and changed  the subject.  a few people asked me at work,  (i pass until i open my mouth i have a very raspy deep voice) and the more traditional female voice i developed annoys me.  i do my best not to talk unless i have to.  no one at work knows none of the few friends ive had for years know i never plan on telling them.  i live in constant anxiety that people will find out i have dreams about it. almost all my documents are correct but the 2 that requires a surgery letter i haven't. 

My wife told me one time that i was ashamed of being transsexual and i think she is right.  i just want to live as a woman with no annoying questions, no back hand comments a girl transitioned at my current job and the crap i hear is hurtful.  im not sure what i am doing here i just wanted to put it out there i hope i dont offend 

[stephaniec]

life would be so much simpler to embrace being trans . I had no choice because I've lived in the same apartment building for 20 years and just began transitioning 29 months ago. I just don't worry about it.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I think you are here because you want to talk to people who won't judge you, won't expose you and will do there best to help you with any questions you might have. I had my surgery 33 years ago but the community is still somewhat a part of me and will always be that way. Other than family, I am not out to anybody else in my life but if I were ask, I would be comfortable talking about it. We all need to find that place in life where we are comfortable and I think you will find yours. There is nothing wrong with being stealth and we have site members who are. Others have face book pages and Youtube channels document every change in their life.
I am comfortable discussing my past so if there is anything I can help you with, feel free to ask

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[suzifrommd]

It's a sad reality of having kids that they simply will not keep a secret. Having a kid is like having a window wide open into your life.

Personally, I would imagine the stealth life would be extremely stressful. One whisper and it's all over. Either I have no one really know me or my history, or I have to trust that none of my friends ever would spill the beans.

Sounds like a lot of stress. Maybe easier to be open. I don't know.

[alice1234]

I wanted to reply when i read the reply's but i couldn't figure out how to reply individually so i just wanted to say thank you to the people who replied and welcomed me it means a lot to me.  I am still not sure what i really want but I think being open would be easier i don't know

Thank you
Hugs and Kisses
Alice

[Dena]

It's not a decision that has to be made right away. There are people you will never tell and that shouldn't bother you. Others for your own reasons you may decide to tell. We have a number of threads where this very subject has been heavily debated and searching for the word stealth would probably turn up a huge number of hits. Each person has a different life and this decision has to be made on what's right for you. I don't want my history to be known publicly but I don't mind people who are respectful toward me knowing.