I'm a little late to this thread but I just want to say how much your first post here resonated with me. Although I haven't always felt like a boy and I haven't always been aware of my gender, now that I am, I kind of just know that I'm a guy - I want a boy's body and I more or less want to live as a guy, however I don't always like to dress as a male/masculinely.
I have no idea if it's offensive to anyone or not, but it's just who I am. I'm a guy who wants a male body but who also wants to wear more feminine clothes sometimes and make up sometimes, maybe even crossdress sometimes. I'm not saying I don't like dressing masculine, I sometimes do, but I wouldn't want to all the time.
I'm pre-everything and in the past I often dressed super masculinely (even though that's not how I always want to dress), almost like I'm trying to over-compensate because I'm not out, I don't get seen as a guy, and I want to, so I go a bit overboard on the masculine gender expression. But that's not who I really am all the time and doing so made me feel like I was going further away from who I am.
So now I'm starting to reconcile the fact that I'm a boy, but I do sometimes like wearing more feminine clothing. I'm a boy, and I want to live and be seen as one, and I wish I could have a male body so I can experiment with gender expression how I like and still live as a guy. I'm both pretty masculine in a few areas but also very feminine in others, and I sometimes wish I were a cis guy so I could just do what I wanted with that (though of course I realise that cis guys may often face judgement too for drifting outside gender norms or roles).
I've tried various labels too but at the end of the day I just feel like a feminine dude most of the time. Or a gender non conforming one. Of course I'm still figuring some stuff out, but I want to let you know you're definitely not alone on this.
