'lo, all. I'm molly.

[molly]

Hi.

I'm molly, 23. I've been on HRT for 2 years, transitioning to female, but I think I more identify as non-binary. That is, I present female full-time, but when I'm misgendered I roll with pronouns (although I gladly prefer the fem ones and get way happier when I hear them).

Also, here's my past, tl;dr version:

I didn't always know. Something was definitely wrong – in and out of therapy for years, finally culminating in my various attempts on my life. Did a lot of introspection and finally understood that I should've been female from the beginning. Entered therapy after the last attempt. Came out as trans to my family, got kicked out (gracefully? Mum let me save up first), left my old religion, and have been doing my own thing since.

Now I'm here. c:

I say I'm transitioning, but that's not quite right... People who I tell ask me why I don't paint my nails and wear skirts. Why I don't present super-femme and stereotypically sashay. Why I only wear eyeliner. If anything, I'm a tomboy – my favorite music is made by artists like Current Value, Whitechapel, Slowdive, and Kittie. I like button-downs and skinny jeans. And I absolutely adore masculine rings.

But on the other hand, I love my bracelets and modest bust and romantic comedies and shoujo ai. I jam out to Paula Cole and Sheryl Crow and Sixpence None the Richer. I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I like to visit a lot of stores and carry a lot of bags when I hit the mall (I blame the movie Clueless, haha).

So I'm kinda inbetween. Non-binary. Although I'm comfortable with the slight confusion, I'll work it out over time, haha.

So although I've been on HRT for a couple years, and although I get ma'am'd way more than sir'd, it's hard to say I'm transgender, because I'm not really moving from one gender to another, because I'm comfortable with any bathroom, because I don't feel a need to get my ID switched from M to F. But I do want to shed my male name oh so badly.

Yet, I'm certain that this is the best way to live my life, with my body finally feeling comfortable, and, well, right. C: Seeing a therapist and committing to RLE in my own way has made everything so much better. It took me a couple decades to go from terribly, terribly depressed to happy. So, so happy.

And it took a few years of lurking to work up the courage to post here. Nice to meet you all! :j

[V M]

Hi Molly 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

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Hugs

V M

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's place. Non binary is a part of transgender as transgender indicates somebody who is uncomfortable in their birth gender. Transsexual adds the additional requirement of a surgical transition. A link to our WIKI will explain it in more detail. In any case, all are welcome here and should there be anything I can help you with, let me know.

[jessicadee]

Hello Molly! It is super cool to meet you! Ugh, male names. I cringe every time I hear mine called, even if it is not directed at me. So I am with you on that one. From what I have seen non-binary is becoming a more accepted thing now. Lucky us!

[molly]

@ V M Thanks for the welcome and links!

@Dena That makes sense to me. If I were never read as male again, I'd be so happy. c:

@jessicadee I think you're right about acceptance. One of my clients asked my boss if I were male or female. Their company still does business with us, so it must not have bothered them too much (and that makes me really happy!).