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Changes you weren't expecting after being on hrt for a while

Started by V, July 05, 2016, 10:48:51 AM

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V

Not sure exactly where to post this, as there are a few sections it could have fitted into, I plumped for here. Sorry if that was a mistake.

I don't know about others, but I sure was hoping for 'miracles' when I started on hrt. One reality check later and that didn't happen, but after reading up about what to expect, I also experienced some effects that I wasn't expecting, after being on hrt for a couple of years (I'm now 13 yrs post-op BTW):

- More sensitive sense of touch. I had read about possibly getting softer skin, but I wasn't prepared for the increase in my sense of touch. My fingers and hands became much more sensitive, which was nice, except when I touched something hot, then it was "ouch!", and from then on, gloves became a necessity when handling hot things.
- Heightened sense of smell and taste. These were subtle changes, but I remember when I was young my Nan always complaining about certain smells she could pick up on, like the smell of paint drying, weeks after any painting had been done. Now I know what she means.
- The way I experience colours. This sounds odd, but my eyes changed quite significantly in how I perceived colour. Hues became much more vivid and immersive, and evoked much more feelings as well. I would say that this was the single most surprising change, and the most vivid.
- Just generally becoming more aware of my surroundings, the seasons, hot and cold. And the way I was increasingly able to pick up on changes in my environment. I can now walk into the office at work and pretty much know if anyone has changed their hair or had it cut, whether they are wearing something new, or when I last saw them wear it. And it's a pretty big building where I work, over 100 people on my floor alone.
I can't decide if this hyper awareness is a good or bad thing.

These are just some of the many wonders I experienced during my transition.
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.Christy

-physical pain hurts a lot more now for some reason
-my nails have become so brittle compared to before when they were super healthy and i can't grow them out as long as i'd like to
-ive always been pale, but skin is has gotten even lighter and now im like super translucent and you can see all the vascularity plus i gotta be careful with sunburns as a result
-skin is super dry, i thought at least i'd have some oil left, but nope. As T went down oil everywhere went adios too.
My life doesn't exist in this lifetime.


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Lady_Oracle

- My waist becoming even more defined after 3 years, despite not really working out. I finally have a noticeable dip in the waist like other women my age.
- Genital area fat changes. From certain angles/perspectives, it looks like im post op since my entire region down there has changed dramatically to female fat patterns.
- Continuing to see a reduction in body hair
- Becoming petite sized. I'm now an extra small/small in adult woman sizing. When for the longest time I was a medium mainly.

I know there's other stuff, I just can't think of them at the moment.
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V

Y'know, reading these replies has made me think about other changes I've experienced.
I tried to list mostly positive things, but yeah, there are some negative things too.
- The hair on my head is thin and brittle, it didn't used to break so easily as it does now :(
- I didn't really see a size change in my body, but my feet have become a shoe size smaller, and I certainly wasn't expecting that. I always had small hands (used to get teased about it before I transitioned), but I'm pretty happy with my hands now  ;D
- My nails are strong and flexible, but that's because I take a vitamin supplement that's meant to strengthen nails. It's supposed to work on hair too, but my hair is still brittle. But my skin certainly became much more translucent, and I can see far more veins that I used to, it's not a nice effect to be sure. My boyfriend commented on it a few times, how "see-thru" I am these days. But that was one hrt effect I knew about in advance.
- Thinking about it I do have dry skin and much less skin/scalp oil too. I don't really notice it though because I use a body lotion twice a day, and that seems to stop the dryness very well. It also stops ingrowing hairs too, which is the main reason I use it. My body is very hairy, so I have to shave my arms/fingers, legs/toes every few days  :(
I was luckily able to afford IPL hair removal for my torso, otherwise I'd have to shave that too. I wish hrt had lessened body hair, but it has only had slight effects in this area.
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IdontEven

Yep, I got most of the changes listed here. All of my senses changed - sight hearing touch smell taste, and all the things being processed through an emotional center before anything else.

You can see pretty much every vein in my body. It used to kind of bug me but eh, they keep me alive so I guess I'm okay with seeing them. And even though I'm way more transparent, I feel like the skin tone itself looks a lot better most of the time. And of course it's way softer and bruises incredibly easily, or at least shows up a lot more now.

I think the biggest surprise for me was how all the other changes affected the way I move and interact with the world. I'm still not exactly graceful, but I'm way more gentle than I used to be, and I imagine it's going to keep heading in that direction for a while longer.

It would be nice if guys weren't so rough when they clap you on the shoulder or playfully shove you for beating them in a competition you weren't even aware you were in. It's like dude, that's going to leave a bruise for a week, be GENTLE. And also whatever challenge you think we're in? I forfeit. I'm going to go over here and play with my hair now  :-\
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
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V

@IdontEven, That's a good analogy "being processed through an emotional centre", that makes sense to me. And for someone like me, who always seems to offend people easily, and just blurts out what's on her mind, when she really shouldn't have, having an extra bit of processing to try and filter out stuff before it comes out of my mouth is a good thing.
I am very much like my mother in this respect, we can both say things straight out, that really we should best have kept to ourselves. My fella is often amazed/dismayed at some of the things that spew forth from my gob  :(

Now you mention it bruises are another thing that's changed pretty dramatically.
I bruise really really easily now, and it's very noticeable on my translucent skin.
Funny you should mention bruises from harmless rough and tumble with guys, occasionally my fella will grab me on the arm or somesuch, for some reason (usually affectionate play, or to steady me if I'm gonna fall, etc...) and the next day you can see his handprint very clearly, on my arm, as a multi-coloured bruise, which then stays for a few weeks. It's got a bit embarrassing at times, because occasionally people think I've been roughly manhandled against my will, and get worried about me, when that's not actually the case. He has come to realise that I'm quite delicate nowadays though, so such bruises are a rarity.

I'll certainly be envious if hrt makes you graceful, I don't feel that it has helped me there, although others have commented that it has. I've always been very gentle and careful anyway, pre-hrt or transitioning, that's just my nature, so maybe that's why there's no real change there? Mind you I had a cis-female friend who was extremely clumsy and heavy handed and not in the least bit graceful, and she knew it and used to make it into a joke, so YMMV.
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Jenna Marie

I'm about six and a half years on HRT now.

The good: I noticed my favorite bra is a bit tight; I am sure breast growth has stopped, but apparently I'm one of those women who puts extra pounds in the chest, butt, and belly (the last one isn't so good).

The bad: My skin has been super dry just this past winter, to the point of cracking and bleeding even when I moisturize 3x a day, and now my heels are all gross and callused and cracking in the summer. Ugh. That might be age instead of HRT, I guess, but I don't want to talk about getting old. ;)
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Most of the physical changes I anticipated (to a certain degree).

However, as a pre-transition heterosexual male, I never ever once thought I'd not be a lesbian (yes that's a double negative... but you understood it hehe).

Yet here I am today and women do absolutely nothing for me anymore.  It's both :) and :( at the same time.


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alex82

Quote from: Ⓥ on July 06, 2016, 03:34:46 PM
Most of the physical changes I anticipated (to a certain degree).

However, as a pre-transition heterosexual male, I never ever once thought I'd not be a lesbian (yes that's a double negative... but you understood it hehe).

Yet here I am today and women do absolutely nothing for me anymore.  It's both :) and :( at the same time.

To a certain degree - did you have more or less than you anticipated?
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V

Quote from: Ⓥ on July 06, 2016, 03:34:46 PM

However, as a pre-transition heterosexual male, I never ever once thought I'd not be a lesbian (yes that's a double negative... but you understood it hehe).

Yet here I am today and women do absolutely nothing for me anymore.  It's both :) and :( at the same time.

As a guy, I was heterosexual, and as a woman now, I'm still heterosexual. I just can't figure out if I always fancied men deep down, but when I was one (well, externally at least) I was just 'going through the motions' and doing what was expected of me, as I was in denial of my GD, and trying to fight it back then.
But yeah, women do nothing for me either, but for me, thats a big  :)
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Quote from: V on July 06, 2016, 05:53:07 PM
But yeah, women do nothing for me either, but for me, thats a big  :)

Hiya V... I'm Ⓥ !!  Lawl... but yeah, one reason for my lil' frownie is that I kinda wanted to be a lesbian throughout all this.  I suppose just like slap-bracelets from the 80s, it seemed cool at the time. ::)  The second reason is that I just don't like surprises when going through life-altering HRT; and finding dudes attractive kinda surprised me!

Quote from: alex82 on July 06, 2016, 04:04:41 PM
did you have more or less than you anticipated?

More, but really not comfortable admitting that :-\  Most of the discomfort lies in the fact that I recognize my privilege... privilege of money, stable job, support, good genetics... I dunno, I've had a really good transition but I'm down-to-earth enough to realize I've been really lucky with a lot of stuff along the way and realize that a lot of girls I see transitioning don't have some of the resources / tools / luck that has helped me get where I am now and that's unfortunate.

It's funny, but the honest truth is that when I hit the rewind button and go back to when I was just a few months into HRT and think of my mental state, I was very very sure I'd wind up being an unpassable but attractive transsexual gal, and was okay with that because even THAT was a suitable trade-off to becoming a bitter, tired old man filled with regret (® Dom Cobb, 2010)


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alex82

Quote from: Ⓥ on July 06, 2016, 06:21:34 PM
Hiya V... I'm Ⓥ !!  Lawl... but yeah, one reason for my lil' frownie is that I kinda wanted to be a lesbian throughout all this.  I suppose just like slap-bracelets from the 80s, it seemed cool at the time. ::)  The second reason is that I just don't like surprises when going through life-altering HRT; and finding dudes attractive kinda surprised me!

More, but really not comfortable admitting that :-\  Most of the discomfort lies in the fact that I recognize my privilege... privilege of money, stable job, support, good genetics... I dunno, I've had a really good transition but I'm down-to-earth enough to realize I've been really lucky with a lot of stuff along the way and realize that a lot of girls I see transitioning don't have some of the resources / tools / luck that has helped me get where I am now and that's unfortunate.

It's funny, but the honest truth is that when I hit the rewind button and go back to when I was just a few months into HRT and think of my mental state, I was very very sure I'd wind up being an unpassable but attractive transsexual gal, and was okay with that because even THAT was a suitable trade-off to becoming a bitter, tired old man filled with regret (® Dom Cobb, 2010)

Oh ok, I see what you mean. I certainly do feel insensitive telling a teenager to just whack it on an overdraft, but in terms of NHS waiting lists it's either that, or wait. It's first come first served, there's no other way round it. I do recognize my privilege there, and I'm eternally grateful and humbled that I had accounts of my own to clean out in the first place. But it evens itself out - without this f ing problem, that would've done for all kinds of investments it's not available for with a transition to fund. The only way I can keep calm as I watch it decline rapidly is to say to myself 'that was for your future, well this is using it for your future'. Still stings.
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RobynD

Pain is definitely felt more than before. My sense of smell is more acute. I knew my breasts and nipples would get sensitive but i had no idea how sensitive. Overall i did not expect as positive of results that i have seen.


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JoanneB

Changes I never expected..... where or how to begin when each time I went on E was just to survive another day.

Not stinking like a guy
Not sweating like a pig
Skin softening as much as it has with a TON of sensitivity
Not sure if E or loss of T and muscle, But hurts more sitting on hard objects in spite of padding
Pretty much all body hair growth gone... Except a small patch on knee? and bunny ears

The real mindblower now at the 7 year point is the shift in sexuality. Oh how it turns me on when my wife gently caresses me. Worse is how my mind now wonders to what it would feel like this time if it was a guy I'm with. Especially with the dreams I have now with a male love interest
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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V

Quote from: alex82 on July 06, 2016, 06:45:21 PM
Oh ok, I see what you mean. I certainly do feel insensitive telling a teenager to just whack it on an overdraft, but in terms of NHS waiting lists it's either that, or wait. It's first come first served, there's no other way round it. I do recognize my privilege there, and I'm eternally grateful and humbled that I had accounts of my own to clean out in the first place. But it evens itself out - without this f ing problem, that would've done for all kinds of investments it's not available for with a transition to fund. The only way I can keep calm as I watch it decline rapidly is to say to myself 'that was for your future, well this is using it for your future'. Still stings.

The amount of money I've had to shell out because of GD really irks me. I wrote in another post how I was a tad jealous of my brother and his life, simply because the money I've spent on goodness-knows-what 'TS' stuff, he's instead been able to save and now lives a comfortable life in relative luxury.
I had a terrible "NHS experience", one of the worst moments in my transitional journey (and that's up against some pretty stiff competition for that title), and so I saved and scrimped and used my savings and loans, etc... and went private. Wild horses would not drag me back to Charing Cross GIC!!!  >:(
So yes, it stings financially, and is well unfair.

Quote from: RobynD on July 06, 2016, 07:02:47 PM
---- I knew my breasts and nipples would get sensitive but i had no idea how sensitive. Overall i did not expect as positive of results that i have seen.

Oh lucky you, my breasts just hurt all the time, and my nipples are small and very, well... male, and are very un-sensitive. It's one of the things I've heard many other TG women mention, their increased breast and nipple sensitivity, buy I have experienced none of that at all  :(  Very disappointing. Zero erogenous zone change. Genetics, huh?

Quote from: JoanneB on July 06, 2016, 10:21:40 PM
Changes I never expected..... where or how to begin when each time I went on E was just to survive another day.
....
Not sure if E or loss of T and muscle, But hurts more sitting on hard objects in spite of padding
Pretty much all body hair growth gone... Except a small patch on knee? and bunny ears
....

Ah yes, I have to agree I've got that problem. Despite the additional 'padding' that I now have in my bum area, it's much more painful to sit on any hard surface. I was kinda expecting the opposite TBH.
However, I'm very jealous of your body hair experience, I've had very little reduction or change in body hair  :(
I have to shave my arms/fingers, legs/toes every few days. I would have also had to shave my torso just as regularly too, but I managed to afford Laser/IPL treatment on my torso. It was pretty much a necessity, hairy boobs are just gross!!! That torso hair reduction treatment (along with my facial hair) was something I started two years before I even began to transition, it was so bad I knew I had to sort it beforehand. I just couldn't afford to do my arms and legs as well. But what really irks me still is that I get hairy fingers, eeew! YUK!

Quote from: Ⓥ on July 06, 2016, 06:21:34 PM
Hiya V... I'm Ⓥ !!  Lawl... but yeah, one reason for my lil' frownie is that I kinda wanted to be a lesbian throughout all this.  I suppose just like slap-bracelets from the 80s, it seemed cool at the time. ::)  The second reason is that I just don't like surprises when going through life-altering HRT; and finding dudes attractive kinda surprised me!

More, but really not comfortable admitting that :-\  Most of the discomfort lies in the fact that I recognize my privilege... privilege of money, stable job, support, good genetics... I dunno, I've had a really good transition but I'm down-to-earth enough to realize I've been really lucky with a lot of stuff along the way and realize that a lot of girls I see transitioning don't have some of the resources / tools / luck that has helped me get where I am now and that's unfortunate.

It's funny, but the honest truth is that when I hit the rewind button and go back to when I was just a few months into HRT and think of my mental state, I was very very sure I'd wind up being an unpassable but attractive transsexual gal, and was okay with that because even THAT was a suitable trade-off to becoming a bitter, tired old man filled with regret (® Dom Cobb, 2010)

Hello "other V". Sorry my keyboard doesn't seem to have the symbol you use. Actually when I view this site on my tablet, your username/symbol comes up as an 'x' inside a circle.
To be honest I wasn't bothered one way or the other what my sexual preference was or whether it would change or not. I've always separated that completely from my gender, and for me, the two have no connection. I just happened to end up liking guys in the end. And I think that because all my sexual experiences prior to transitioning were all so unpleasant to me, because I hated my gross body, and most of those experiences were with women, it kinda put me off women, sexually, in a strange sort of way. I did have a few sexual experiences with guys whilst pre-op, and that did feel better psychologically, if not physically. Hence I'm not disappointed that I'm 100% into guys only. But that's just me, and I don't think badly of anyone else for being different to me. It's funny, right from when I was young, I was always very accepting and easy going and non-judgemental of any and all folks sexual preferences. I've never understood folks who have hang-ups over someone else being gay or bi or lesbian, even if that's not me.

I don't mind surprises, as long as they are nice ones  ;D

My genetics have not been hugely helpful to me. I do pass, but there is still a lot of effort that I have to put in to achieve that. I'm very envious of cis-females (and indeed very passable TG-women) who can pass effortlessly regardless of appearance or preparation or lack thereof.

I sometimes feel bitter and tired, but at least I'm a bitter and tired old woman  :laugh:
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IdontEven

Okay so, perhaps this needs to be in a separate topic or something, but can I ask how all of you that discovered a new-found attraction for men came to realize it? Were you just like "Hey, that guy's hot! Waaait a minute..."

It was kind of weird for me, in that I had no idea what was going on at first. I thought I was having menopause-like hot-flashes, but I eventually realized it was happening when I was within smelling range of guys that I liked talking to and that I didn't find their scent off-putting. Then once I started paying attention to exactly what I was feeling it was like whoa...tingly! :icon_redface:

I guess that's another thing - butterflies in the stomach? I had NO idea what that even was before I started hormones, compared to what happens now.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
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RobynD

I had always been attracted to guys, but after HRT the attraction is stronger for sure. My theory is that it is at least partially related to smell.


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V

@IdontEven, I think I may have already answered your question in my previous answer. But the more I think about it, the more I might have fancied guys, deep down, all along. I just fought against my GD and tried to 'prove' to myself and others that I was a hetero guy, and yeah, that didn't work   :laugh:

I think the first time I realised I felt something for guys was at school, like 18 years before I transitioned, I must've been about 12 yrs old. I went to an all-boys only school (yay! Not!), and it was some sports day or something like that. There was this older boy who had developed really early into a man, and was tall, big, strong and as hard as nails. He was letting other boys pay him £1 for the chance to punch him in the stomach as hard as they could. Seriously, this guy didn't even wince. Of course I didn't want to punch him, but for the first time I felt something weird as I looked at him, it was the first time I had ever felt horny or turned on. At that moment I felt an overwhelming desire to get it on with him, but I found I wanted to be a girl right there and then, and have him make passionate love to me.
That feeling drove me nearly insane, and I had to bury it. But now, I wish I had had the strength of character to come out as trans back then. But I didn't, I was afraid, and it took me 18 years to admit it and do something about it.
So there ya go. I got there in the end, but if only I had acted earlier, I wouldn't have half the issues to deal with that I have now. Hindsight eh...
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Quote from: IdontEven on July 07, 2016, 03:52:15 PM
Okay so, perhaps this needs to be in a separate topic or something, but can I ask how all of you that discovered a new-found attraction for men came to realize it?

Seeing well built physiques (i.e. 6 packs, torso muscles, etc) on guys was the 'daaaam daniel' start of attraction.  For me, it was like HRT; it wasn't a go-to-bed-straight-guy to wake-up-hetero-girl... like the mtf transition itself it was a slow evolution towards shifting sexuality.  Making out with a lesbian vs. a guy cemented everything hehe.  Feeling weak and vulnerable in a guys embrace is unreal.  Second puberty indeed.


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Lady_Oracle

Quote from: IdontEven on July 07, 2016, 03:52:15 PM
Okay so, perhaps this needs to be in a separate topic or something, but can I ask how all of you that discovered a new-found attraction for men came to realize it? Were you just like "Hey, that guy's hot! Waaait a minute..."

It was kind of weird for me, in that I had no idea what was going on at first. I thought I was having menopause-like hot-flashes, but I eventually realized it was happening when I was within smelling range of guys that I liked talking to and that I didn't find their scent off-putting. Then once I started paying attention to exactly what I was feeling it was like whoa...tingly! :icon_redface:

I guess that's another thing - butterflies in the stomach? I had NO idea what that even was before I started hormones, compared to what happens now.

I realized my attraction for men wasn't because of hormones. It had always been there but because of the machismo culture I dealt with growing up, I just never felt comfy admitting to it pretansition. The fear was just too overwhelming. I hid that part of my sexuality for most of my life and a lot of the abuse I've suffered has been from men so its been difficult coming full circle with this.

Anyways I'm still getting to know what I like and what I don't like in guys and so far I seem to go after the pretty boys I guess lol, at least that's what my friend says. I can't really relate with the sudden shift everyone talks about cause I pretty much see people I'm attracted to the same way I did before, its just now I have a better idea of what I want. But I feel like that has more to do with the fact I'm finally myself & my age, where as before I was really lost with my identity so it was tough to see what was real or not.
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