Interaction with police

[sparrow]

So, a guy hit on me a few nights ago when I was walking home from a late night of hanging out with some girlfriends.

He used a lure, which made me a little worried that he's a habitual predator.  So I called the cops to report his presence.  I don't think he did anything wrong, I didn't actually feel threatened (I was walking up a steep hill at twice his speed, and he was huffing and puffing), but if he's habitual, the cops would recognize his MO.  Sadly, I don't have the police non-emergency line in my phone, so I called 911.

Of course, I have bad reception on that hill, so 911 couldn't hear me.  So I called back.  Still fuzz.

Minutes later, a police dispatcher from the next town over called me back.  I told him the story.  He didn't really seem to believe me or take me seriously.  He didn't understand why I was calling to report the incident.  He said that he didn't understand why I felt like the dude was making advances on me.  At that point, I told him that I'm a femme-presenting transgender person.  Suddenly, he got really interested in what happened, in my safety, etc.

Minutes later, a police dispatcher from my town called me back.  I told her the story.  She also don't really believe me or take me seriously.  She kept asking me if he had tried to hit me, (I'd said that he was trying to hit on me) and I kept saying "no, I think he was going to make sexual advances."  Eventually, I told her that I'm a femme-presenting transgender person.  Suddenly, she got really interested in what happened, in my safey, etc.  She started asking me rather pointed questions, including "Are you usually walking around this late at night?" (it was about 2am)  Fortunately, static cut us off and she didn't call me back.  I swear, the next question was going to be about what I was wearing.

When I got home, there was a police cruiser waiting in front of my house.  He hadn't heard from either dispatch, so I told him the story.  He was nice, kind, understanding.  He recognized that I was just being a good citizen by reporting suspicious behavior... he had the benefit of seeing me in a dress, so he understood immediately what I meant when I thought that somebody was hitting on me.

So, this is really interesting to me.  Twice in a row, I had people read me as male and invalidate my experience.  When I told them that I was transgender, their entire attitude changed.  Both times, it was like night and day: The first dispatcher seemed to be satisfied that I didn't feel threatened.  But the second dispatcher had started asking me questions that were edging towards victim-blame.

I live in a pretty progressive area.  The cops around here are good to professional, white transgender folk like myself.  But apparently, they're useless to men who are victims of sexual harassment.

[Ms Grace]

Well it's nice they were supportive of you when they knew you were trans. And I'm glad to hear you are OK.

While I know we have the right to be safe wherever we are whenever we are there and whatever we are wearing, the sad truth is some men have little to no respect for boundaries, especially when it comes to sexuality and women. One thing we often don't realise growing within a male gendered culture (and seen, treated and expected to act as male) is that girls and women start learning those lessons about those kind of men pretty early and usually take extra precautions around their safety. I learned that too pretty early in my full time transition when walking home at night through a park I had never had any problem walking through the park at night presenting male. However, presenting as female I was followed into the park and approached out of the dark by some guy who "just wanted to talk" (at 11.30pm!). Needless to say it was pretty scary and I'm fortunate that he did leave when I told him to go away. But the experience freaked me out and I have caught the bus home at night instead ever since. I shouldn't have to but the reality for me is that it's better to take care of my safety than end up being sexually assaulted or worse.

The cops around here are good to professional, white transgender folk like myself.  But apparently, they're useless to men who are victims of sexual harassment.

"...men are supposed to be able to look after themselves in those situations..." sigh, it's an oddly outdated attitude but still prevalent.