Changes you weren't expecting after being on hrt for a while

[V]

I realized my attraction for men wasn't because of hormones. It had always been there but because of the machismo culture I dealt with growing up, I just never felt comfy admitting to it pretansition. The fear was just too overwhelming. I hid that part of my sexuality for most of my life and a lot of the abuse I've suffered has been from men so its been difficult coming full circle with this.

I can connect a lot with this.

[IdontEven]

a lot of the abuse I've suffered has been from men so its been difficult coming full circle with this.

That's no joke right there. I am/was seriously considering trying to go to an all-girl's school just to get away from guys for a while.

I get all of your points about orientation not actually changing just being allowed to come out or uncovered. But for me, I spent a LOT of time with guys pre-HRT and I never felt the first thing for them. In fact there's this one guy I've known since I was 16 (which was a loooong time ago), there was never anything there at all, and now this tension has come out of nowhere. And he's either interested or trolling me (or both), but either way, he hasn't been much help when it comes to being chill in his presence. And it always feels like it's about 90 degrees in his apartment :/

[kaitylynn]

The first thing I was not expecting...vivid color perception, especially greens.  I could look at a tree and pick out infinite shades in the leaves.

The way I use my eyes changed.  No longer fixating on one point, but using peripheral vision more and more.  Like taking in the bigger picture.

Baby-brain...that is how my endo described the forgetfulness that started soon after starting HRT again.  My friends even coined a new nickname, 'SpaceKait'.  Am the only one in my group that can misplace 3 sets of keys in under 5 minutes.  It sounds sort of funny, but it has led to a few very frustrating moments.

Not to be down on men, but I have watched the damage they can wrought as they smash their way through a relationship and going there just shut itself down within me.  Playthings, but nothing I would want to deal with day in and out.  In my years of self examination, I have found that my thoughts on relationships has not changed much...in the 90's I figured I was BI/lesbian and now it is PAN.

[noleen111]

The biggest surprise for me was the fact I was not lesbian, somewhere along the line I started been attracted to guys. Now I have a loving boyfriend, who I love very much.

another surprise was I feel the cold much quicker, so I put something warm on much quicker than I did before

but overall the ride to womanhood has been amazing.

[2cherry]

I don't remember really all of it... because I am used to it now. But few things that stuck: better smell, taste changed, sweat became more musky, felt more attracted to males. Biggest change: felt peaceful in my head, like my tender brain finally got the correct fuel.

[Randi]

I never understood the "tears of joy" thing.  It seemed like an oxymoron.

After a few months of estrogen, I first experienced it at church when a visiting choir from a black church in our town came to sing with us.  Their magnificent performance and obvious joy they spread made tears stream down my cheeks.

I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love, peace and admiration.  Since then many artistic performances and some movies have caused the tears of joy to flow.  I don't think the cold, analytical, testosterone based mind can comprehend this.

Colors are more vivid and vision less focused on one object at a time.  I now see the forest, rather than a group of individual trees.  I am also much more forgiving of people that might honk at me in traffic for some imagined wrong I've done.

On testosterone I was always fighting the world.  With estrogen, I can just appreciate it.

Randi

[Michelle_P]

I never understood the "tears of joy" thing.  It seemed like an oxymoron.

After a few months of estrogen, I first experienced it at church when a visiting choir from a black church in our town came to sing with us.  Their magnificent performance and obvious joy they spread made tears stream down my cheeks.

I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love, peace and admiration.  Since then many artistic performances and some movies have caused the tears of joy to flow.  I don't think the cold, analytical, testosterone based mind can comprehend this.

I'm on just spiro, no E yet, and I totally get this.  It's struck me a couple of times this week already, and completely blown me away.  My goddess, is this what it feels like to be fully human?  More, please!

I'm a bit frightened of what starting E might be like.

[Lilliana]

Well, one thing I did not expect so quickly was the retreat my testicles have taken.  We have never been on good terms (and I am not so sure about my gallbladder's loyalty) but I did not expect this so soon.

It has only been eleven days.  Another change is that my face seems to be getting a little gaunt around my upper cheekbones.  While I have been losing weight which is the major impediment to transitioning, the excess weight that is, this is unexpected and if it continues, my what should be an open secret will be out sooner.

My Doctor told me to expect the pitch in my voice to change.  Everything I have read said this will not happen but she was certain of it.  I never counted on this as my voice has always been high pitched and everyone mistakes me for a woman on the phone since forever but it will be interesting.

I am content though. 

[V]

Well, one thing I did not expect so quickly was the retreat my testicles have taken.  We have never been on good terms (and I am not so sure about my gallbladder's loyalty) but I did not expect this so soon.

It has only been eleven days.  Another change is that my face seems to be getting a little gaunt around my upper cheekbones.  While I have been losing weight which is the major impediment to transitioning, the excess weight that is, this is unexpected and if it continues, my what should be an open secret will be out sooner.

My Doctor told me to expect the pitch in my voice to change.  Everything I have read said this will not happen but she was certain of it.  I never counted on this as my voice has always been high pitched and everyone mistakes me for a woman on the phone since forever but it will be interesting.

I am content though. 

Oh yes, now you mention it I remember my testicles retreating. Mine got so tiny in the end, that when my surgeon examined me 'down there' before my SRS, he quipped: "Oh you didn't mention you had had a bilateral orchidectomy". I replied: "What's that?"
When he explained, I told him that I hadn't had them removed, they were just really tiny now and had disappeared inside since a year or two ago, and that he'd just have to have a good rummage about in there to locate them 
That sketch from the film "The Heat" about 'the Captain's balls', always makes me laugh and reminds me of that moment with my surgeon!

My face looked more gaunt on hrt, especially when I lost weight. It definitely looked better when I put some weight back on, but then my figure suffered. I just can't win! 

My voice certainly never passed for female before hrt. And after years of being on it, there has been no change at all 

I never understood the "tears of joy" thing.  It seemed like an oxymoron.

After a few months of estrogen, I first experienced it at church when a visiting choir from a black church in our town came to sing with us.  Their magnificent performance and obvious joy they spread made tears stream down my cheeks.

I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love, peace and admiration.  Since then many artistic performances and some movies have caused the tears of joy to flow.  I don't think the cold, analytical, testosterone based mind can comprehend this.

Colors are more vivid and vision less focused on one object at a time.  I now see the forest, rather than a group of individual trees.  I am also much more forgiving of people that might honk at me in traffic for some imagined wrong I've done.

On testosterone I was always fighting the world.  With estrogen, I can just appreciate it.

Randi

Whilst I can appreciate and connect with a lot of what you say, I think you're being a little harsh about the minds and emotional abilities of men.
Before I was on hrt, I was quite able to cry easily. I was very "weepy", in fact.
The difference was the social conditioning and peer pressure and conditioning that tells guys that it's not cool to cry, and that it's a weakness. I have only seen my Dad cry once, and that was at his best friend's funeral.
I often got very odd looks before I transitioned if folks saw me crying. Maybe I just had a very emotional 'female brain' regardless of any hrt effects? I have also come across many cis-females who are as "tough as nails" and never ever seem to cry.
I will say that once on hrt, tears came even more readily to my eyes, so it does have an effect.
But the best thing was that the social stigma of "guys don't cry" no longer applied once I transitioned, and that was like a breath of fresh air!

[Lady Sarah]

Ah yes. The testicular retreat. My urologist spent some time looking for them with the sonogram. Insurance paid the the orchiectomy, as they were causing a lot of pain.

One thing I was not expecting from hormones, is heat intolerance. Where I live, it often gets over 100F in the summer. I cannot stand to be outside for more than 5 minutes when the heat exceeds 95. I start getting light headed and dizzy right before I stop sweating. Then I turn pale, and proceed to passing out. It is a dangerous and life threatening situation.

Since I had counseling, I pretty much expected the rest of the changes.

[Dee Marshall]

Sarah, are you on spiro? Many people on spiro are chronically dehydrated, which can lead to just those symptoms.

[KarynMcD]

I cannot stand to be outside for more than 5 minutes when the heat exceeds 95. I start getting light headed and dizzy right before I stop sweating. Then I turn pale, and proceed to passing out.

Have you mentioned this to your doctor?
It's not a typical reaction.

[Lady Sarah]

My doctor is aware, as I discussed it with her. Her best advice is to avoid the summer heat. Of course, she attributed part of it to age... after she looked at my chart and did a double take. She thought I was 35.

[Claire_Sydney]

Just want to say I'm loving reading this thread !!!

After 8 months, I can relate to so many of these things - colour perception, processing things emotionally first, genital shrinkage, sensitivity to hot and cold, sense of smell, etc.

Other things, I only dream about. Ohh, how I wish my breasts felt like SOME sort of erogenous zone!

You couldn't possibly explain any of this to a cisgender person. Cis women don't know what they have never missed, and cis men don't know what they have never had.  Sometimes I think endocrinologists and trans individuals are the only people who fully understand the effects of both types of hormones.

[CarlyMcx]

The one thing I did not expect was to grow a butt, but that is exactly what happened after only one month on hormones -- I can now fill out a pair of shorts pretty nicely, and my panties fit perfectly in the back where they used to sag a little.  Before, my wife used to say I didn't have a butt, and I was actually researching Brazilian butt lift surgery as part of my transition.  But looking back now (pun intended), there will be no surgery necessary.

[Magicka]

It's interesting to see how many transwomen have also experienced major shifts in their sexuality. I used to be mostly attracted to women before hrt but had some attraction to men though. I guess you can say my attraction was 80% girls and 20% men. I had feminine feelings since I was around 9 years old but did have some very masculine phases in my life specifically 8th and 9th grade booo for first puberty! My development in my self realization has been really odd with many shifts. I remember in 2010 when I was 22 I started really questioning my gender again. I'd think on how incapable me being in a relationship with a female would be even though I presented as male and was attracted to women. I'd be sexually attracted to them but not be able to feel emotionally bonded to them as a significant other. Something always felt weird about 'being with a woman.' I nearly worshipped the female form and thought of how gorgeous it was. Now I realize that was envy back then. I'd find myself thinking about men romantically but not entirely sexually back then causing more confusion in my un-matured mind. The weird thing is that even before regular hrt when I was only taking saw palmetto, spearmint tea, estroven, organic soymilk, red clover extract hoping for some feminization(which a little did occur) something weird happened for the first time in my attraction and sexuality(at this point I knew I was trans and was doing a herbal gig then.) And here it is.. at my old job some really masculine strong man came in.. a regular visitor and when I seen him I got butterflies, a heat wave in my body, and could not stop looking at him.. I was trying to hide my lust but it was hard. At that moment I was very shocking thinking "OMG I am starting to find men sexy!" It indeed was a shocker for me. Then came regular hrt and it further added to my attraction to men. Now at 1 year hrt I'm 100% into men. I have absolutely no desire to be with a girl sexually.

Hrt has made me get nearly 'high' of the scent of a strong, healthy masculine mans scent. I find very masculine powerful looking men sooo dreamy and sexy! I have become very submissive and love dominant but protective good men. The mere thought of being embraced by a strong sexy man.. and pinned down on a bed with my wrists held above my head and feeling vulnerable makes me sooo hot and horny! I am in every way a straight sub girl in every way since hrt and am very happy and fulfilled with that change.

It really is fascinating how and why some people have such strong changes in character from hrt. I say this because as a guy I used to be into being powerful, as invulnerable as I could be and wanted to be a leader.  Geez hormones are powerful!

[alex82]

I never understood the "tears of joy" thing.  It seemed like an oxymoron.

After a few months of estrogen, I first experienced it at church when a visiting choir from a black church in our town came to sing with us.  Their magnificent performance and obvious joy they spread made tears stream down my cheeks.

I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love, peace and admiration.  Since then many artistic performances and some movies have caused the tears of joy to flow.  I don't think the cold, analytical, testosterone based mind can comprehend this.

Colors are more vivid and vision less focused on one object at a time.  I now see the forest, rather than a group of individual trees.  I am also much more forgiving of people that might honk at me in traffic for some imagined wrong I've done.

On testosterone I was always fighting the world.  With estrogen, I can just appreciate it.

Randi

Isn't that just depression lifting?

It's early for me, but I've noticed no changes. I was always able to cry with joy, happiness, pride, sadness, whatever. At beauty, and even with anger.

I'm wary of suggesting that men don't and can't, while women can literally pick out leaves in trees while they sob at the beauty of the world. That seems to me to feed into the stuff that TERF's say about trans people.

It's been my long experience with very close female friends that some are very emotional, and some really aren't. Some have a sense of artistic harmony, and some have next to no taste. Some always fitted in with me, and some always laughed at my 'scatterbrain'. Some simply listen and share, some cut across to offer 'cold' solutions you didn't ask for having 'analyzed' what you're saying, in pretty much the same way as a stereotypical man will do, complete with the insensitivity that makes you think they must be a little bit autistic. The difference is, none of them are depressed and subdued about the core of their self.

[V]

Isn't that just depression lifting?

It's early for me, but I've noticed no changes. I was always able to cry with joy, happiness, pride, sadness, whatever. At beauty, and even with anger.

I'm wary of suggesting that men don't and can't, while women can literally pick out leaves in trees while they sob at the beauty of the world. That seems to me to feed into the stuff that TERF's say about trans people.

It's been my long experience with very close female friends that some are very emotional, and some really aren't. Some have a sense of artistic harmony, and some have next to no taste. Some always fitted in with me, and some always laughed at my 'scatterbrain'. Some simply listen and share, some cut across to offer 'cold' solutions you didn't ask for having 'analyzed' what you're saying, in pretty much the same way as a stereotypical man will do, complete with the insensitivity that makes you think they must be a little bit autistic. The difference is, none of them are depressed and subdued about the core of their self.

There is much sense here! Especially the last sentence.

My mother is pretty cold, and unbelievably insensitive at times. My father is more warm-hearted and emotional. There's all sorts in this big old world. When I came out to my parents as Transgender, my Dad took about 30 mins to get his head around it, and I was always closer to my Dad, and I worried how he'd take to his eldest 'son' actually being a girl. But he was fine.
My Mom took 6 months before she could even see me or speak to me again, and even then, she still took a further year to finally accept it. She's fine about it now. YMMV

[Dee Marshall]

In another thread someone mentioned that their naughty bits had changed their typical scent from male to female despite being pre-op. I can attest to that also.

The most surprising to me is that my hairline is shifting. I never had any real hair recession, and yet, hair is now growing where I never had it before.