Impending Doom

[TheManOfFaith]

Hey there. New to the site but I've been up all night for the past few days stressing about surgery.
It's all happening fast, but I was lucky to get a date only a month after my consultation. I love my surgeon and his entire staff. I'm going to Dr. Daniel Greenwald in Tampa and he's just a great dude. I couldn't have had a better experience with him or his office.

My issue is this is my first surgery and I've never been cut open, had an IV, or been under anesthesia.

I literally feel like I'm going to die. I mean, I have panic attacks that I won't make it through surgery constantly.
I'm a healthy person, no heart issues, no allergies to what they're using, and I have perfect blood pressure and cholesterol.
I know it's just nerves but I can't stop thinking and worrying. It's really driving me nuts. I'm turning 30 in September, I'm looking forward to proposing to my girlfriend and starting a life together, and I'm working hard to become a teacher. I have tons to be positive about! I've wanted this surgery since I was 6, way before I knew it was a thing! I just remember thinking "how can I convince my parents I'm really a boy so we can go to the hospital and they can fix me?"

But now that it's happening I can't even get excited about it. I'm just so scared. It makes me want to call it off, but this is the best possible time to do it. I'm here in Florida finally, I've come out to family and have total support (literally the entire family is on board!), great girlfriend, my mother is here to take care of me (back in RI where I used to live my brothers worked so I'd have had no one to even drive me home). It's a GREAT situation.

But I can't shake this awful, sick feeling in my stomach. Is this normal? Am I just paranoid? Did anyone else feel so anxious?

(As a note I'm also absolutely horrified of needles, so that isn't helping!)

[groudon18]

I would say it's totally normal. it's a huge step in life, and I think we can all agree it would be amazing to achieve the results without actually having surgery but unfortunately... that's how it's gotta be done. I was pretty similar, but it seemed like I mellowed out just a few days before because it was like "okay, it's happening". Like you, I had never been under anesthesia, never had an IV, never had surgery, anything like that. I'm used to needles at this point though just from being on testosterone for three years.

I don't know if every doctor does this/how it varies, but my surgeon's staff made me feel extremely comfortable. Once they set me up on the table, they put this really cozy warm blanket over my torso, and I was already laying down when the anesthesiologist was getting the IV in. He said he was going to use one tiny needle to numb the area, then he was going to put the IV in. I barely felt the tiny needle and I didn't feel the IV go in, it kinda just felt like he put something on the top of my hand. Since I was already laying down I didn't need to see it go in or anything. I actually don't even remember falling asleep, I was really relaxed, I just remember waking up and rambling at the nurse about egg mcmuffins while she helped me dress. whoops

the important thing to remember is that this surgery has been done so many times, and it's going to be just fine! anethesgiologists are some of the most highly trained medical people out there and they are very precise, and should any problems arise the whole medical team knows what to do to make sure you are okay. as for the surgery part, it helped me to think that at least they weren't getting inside any important organ areas, it's pretty much just on the surface/outer area of your body. honestly, for me the most uncomfortable part was when the surgeon needed to draw all the stuff on my body beforehand, just because I don't like being touched there. If you are comfortable with how your surgeon is treating you I'm sure they will do their best to make you feel as comfortable and as at ease as you can. You'll be okay!!! it'll be worth it in the end.

[FTMax]

Pre-op anxiety is normal. If you send a message or give your surgeon a call, they may be able to prescribe you an anti-anxiety medication to help.

[Jacqueline]

Man of Faith,

I am so sorry you are experiencing such anxiety. It seems like good information is going your way(as well as good thoughts). Are you in therapy? Your therapist might see the good in anti anxiety meds. Anxiety can end up effecting you physically as well(not usually powerfully but enough to make you feel unwell).

The real reason I am responding is I want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in. I hope you can ease into this and have a smooth journey from there.

With warmth,

Joanna

[RaptorChops]

Top surgery was my first major surgery (not including wisdom teeth) and I was so damn scared. Luckily I was prescribed some xanax before my surgery and it helped me a ton. I was so relaxed walking back to the OR and it went very fast for me. I laid down on the table, was given an IV and was talking to the anesthesiologist for about a minute and then she put a mask over me. I felt my self drift off and then about half a second later I was waking up in recovery. I wasn't in any pain at all just very drowsy and cold. It's an interesting experience.