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Totally didn't pass yesterday

Started by AnxietyDisord3r, July 17, 2016, 06:02:26 AM

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AnxietyDisord3r

I went to a class yesterday and totally didn't pass for male (baseball caps are my kryptonite) but I asked everyone to call me "he" anyway and they were very accommodating. (I did get called "she" about 50 times but then they corrected themselves. I really appreciated that!)

It helped that it was a roomful of union activists. Labor activists and other radicals seem to be more open and accepting than most people.

I can get sir'd reliably if I dress a certain way and do my hair a certain way. My fave andro look of baseball cap, t-shirt (union t-shirt), and jeans was no good. I think my face is still too feminine, and while my figure has changed a lot from my standpoint it still reads as too female. Of course this means I have to work out more and I've been pretty lazy recently. Phooey.
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FTMax

Good on you for asserting yourself. I think that's something a lot of people struggle with.
T: 12/5/2014 | Top: 4/21/2015 | Hysto: 2/6/2016 | Meta: 3/21/2017

I don't come here anymore, so if you need to get in touch send an email: maxdoeswork AT protonmail.com
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jujubes1986

Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on July 17, 2016, 06:02:26 AM
I went to a class yesterday and totally didn't pass for male (baseball caps are my kryptonite) but I asked everyone to call me "he" anyway and they were very accommodating. (I did get called "she" about 50 times but then they corrected themselves. I really appreciated that!)

It helped that it was a roomful of union activists. Labor activists and other radicals seem to be more open and accepting than most people.

I can get sir'd reliably if I dress a certain way and do my hair a certain way. My fave andro look of baseball cap, t-shirt (union t-shirt), and jeans was no good. I think my face is still too feminine, and while my figure has changed a lot from my standpoint it still reads as too female. Of course this means I have to work out more and I've been pretty lazy recently. Phooey.

good for you for trying :) keep your head up high and be proud :)





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blink

That sucks that you weren't read as male, but good on you for standing up for yourself. And good on them for making an effort to get it right.
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sparrow

Yeah, my union execs definitely helped me through the hardest part of my transition: recognizing the issue.  My brother had just started dating a transgender person, and I was completely ignorant about trans* issues.  In the same month, my union started adding pronouns to our introductory rounds.  I'd been grappling with gender issues for some time, and everything started to fall into place.  The irony is that I'm not out to most of my union friends because I quit that job before coming out.
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Ms Grace

Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on July 17, 2016, 06:02:26 AM
It helped that it was a roomful of union activists. Labor activists and other radicals seem to be more open and accepting than most people.

This can be a very important factor that many people don't pick up on in their early days. Finding out what works for you is very important - in time you can also make the other looks work too.

When I first tried to transition back in the early 1990s any attempt at jeans was a certified passing failure - but I was simply doing it wrong... the wrong jeans, the wrong top, the wrong foot ware, etc. These days I can pass no problem in jeans (three years of hormones have helped of course) but if I was still doing what I did in 1991 I can guarantee I wouldn't be passing in jeans.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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V

Well done for sticking to your guns and insisting on the correct pronouns.
That takes a lot of strength and determination.
I got clocked the other day, and it really got to me. Took a day to get over it, wish I was tougher in that respect. Some days I'm OK, other times it all comes crashing down like a house of cards.
Keep at it and I'm sure it'll work for you.
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