How did you decide on a name?

[Thessa]

Dena, I didn't had to click on the link, I instantly knew what film you are referring to.
So I think you are totally right!

[Deborah]

My birth name is highly unusual, like the only one in the world, and impossible to be regendered in any way.  I guess my parents thought being unique was a good idea.  It wasn't.  Anyway, a long time ago I was thinking about names and this one just felt right.  I didn't really put any more thought into it than that.

[Ollie_Ryan]

My name is not at all similar to my birth name and I'm not entirely sure how I came up with it. I guess I've just always liked the name Oliver and I wanted to be able to have a formal-ish name with a less formal nickname (Ollie). Also I wanted my name to be unique and not too common, but also not one that nobody's ever heard of. Not sure how I feel about the name Oliver becoming so popular like it has been lately, but oh well.

[Peep]

I like Valentine

And if you're concerned about it being too unusual, you could make it a middle name or pick a more common name as a middle name so you can fall back on that if you find Valentine causes too much comment. Personally I don't think Val would be too unusual though

[Hughie]

I like Valentine

And if you're concerned about it being too unusual, you could make it a middle name or pick a more common name as a middle name so you can fall back on that if you find Valentine causes too much comment. Personally I don't think Val would be too unusual though

I like Valentine too. And if it helps at all, my step-brother's nickname is Val, shortened from Valentis, which is also unusual.

[Hughie]

Interesting discussion! I'm struggling with the name issue too. I want to legally change everything - gender, first/middle/last name. I actually wanted to change my name  when I was about 12/13 - well before I knew I was trans, which is a recent realisation now that I'm pushing 40. But I didn't want to have my dad's last name for various reasons, and I actively disliked my given names. My family called me by my nickname, and I wanted to change it to that. But it wasn't till age 16 when I made everyone call me by my nickname, even in school (even though I still had the same legal name). I haven't liked my name all my life.

Now, I'm trying to figure out my new legal name too--as well as my pen name. In my dream world, I'd love to have them both be the same thing, but I'm trying to decide if I want to be out as trans guy in my writing world. I'd really like to, just nervous, I suppose.  I'm debating to have one of my names be an androgynous version of the female nickname that I liked. I'm actually writing under Hugh plus my new last name that I'd like, and a close friend of mine really liked the name Hugh too. So I think that's a strong contender for first name, and an androgynous middle name. 

If anyone has struggled with pen/stage names, and having different, new legal new names, I'm interested to know more - happy to start a new thread so as not to derail this one if anyone else is interested in the topic. I'm just wondering about implications for my profession, but as a writer and creative I'm happy to be 'out'. My only worry is for jobs and also international travel if I have a public profile as being out as trans.

[jujubes1986]

Just wondering, a lot of trans people tend to go by the masculine or feminine version of the name they already have, wanted to know if that was the case for most of you or whatnot

For me it was finding one of a lot of male names, of course I havent changed yet so I havent settled. Ive been going by my nickname: Val, the elongated version now to be Valentine

Names do not need to be said but examples and explanations are fine and appreciated

my preferred name is "raine" and my older brother is the one who gave me the name... he said that it suits me now that im female.

[WolfNightV4X1]

I like Valentine

And if you're concerned about it being too unusual, you could make it a middle name or pick a more common name as a middle name so you can fall back on that if you find Valentine causes too much comment. Personally I don't think Val would be too unusual though

I could simply cut it at Val but that is too simple and I enjoy it as nickname status. Honestly, I already had my middle name figured out as Alexius because 1) When I was a kid I always wished my first name was gender neutral like Alex or Taylor
And 2) Because the men in my immediate families have middle names starting with A, females have C. My middle name is just the name of a state, I wouldnt need to change it but in the spirit of transition and ties with tradition I'd like to change it more masculinely

In the end if my name ends up being too 'unusual', I always go by Val. So Val remains.

[WolfNightV4X1]

I want to legally change everything - gender, first/middle/last name. I actually wanted to change my name  when I was about 12/13 - well before I knew I was trans,

Aye, me too. I never liked my legal name at all. Hated it. It never fit me well.

And thanks for the tipoff on your stepbrother's name! Its nice to know Val is a very male name already, I knew there was a reason I liked it more. Valentis sounds awesome I might consider it...
Theres Val Kilmer, an actor with that name

[Hughie]

Aye, me too. I never liked my legal name at all. Hated it. It never fit me well.

And thanks for the tipoff on your stepbrother's name! Its nice to know Val is a very male name already, I knew there was a reason I liked it more. Valentis sounds awesome I might consider it...
Theres Val Kilmer, an actor with that name

Yes, Val is a very male name! If you saw my step-bro, you'd agree, lol. Plus he's very handsome. Can I say that about my step-brother? We loved the name in my family, for sure. Really suits him. And yes, Val Kilmer. Let's not forget about him either.   So there's precedent, absolutely. And there are Valentino's and even Valeri Bure, the hockey player. Options to ponder...

[Amanda_Combs]

I had pretty much decided what name to go for as soon as I realized that was a decision I needed to make.  I've loved the name Amanda ever since I was about 11 or 12.  My mom was telling me that the doctor thought I would be a girl.  I made her tell me what my name would have been, and that's what it was.  And as for my middle name, I'm fortunate that my born middle name is gender neutral.

[Artesia]

I'm still trying to figure this one out for myself as well.  Amongst other things.  A fresh thread will sometimes get you some new incite, and going back and seeing what has come before can help as well.

Will join the chorus on the no Valium bit, as I also didn't need to click the link to said clip of said movie.

[KathyLauren]

My forum name is derived from my birth names, mostly because I couldn't think of anything better at the time.  My wife keeps coming up with suggestions for names (Her favourite at the moment is "Loula".  Mrrrp!  Don't think so.) but I havent heard or thought of one that I like better. 

The more I use Kathy Lauren the more I like it.  It is starting to feel like my name.  So I may go with that in the long run, or maybe I'll come up with something else.

[DawnOday]

Just wondering, a lot of trans people tend to go by the masculine or feminine version of the name they already have, wanted to know if that was the case for most of you or whatnot

For me it was finding one of a lot of male names, of course I havent changed yet so I havent settled. Ive been going by my nickname: Val, the elongated version now to be Valentine

Names do not need to be said but examples and explanations are fine and appreciated

Just leave it Val as in Val Kilmer. I've gone from Don to Dawn and the Oday business is just something to crow about. erererer roooo which is what happens at the crack o Dawn of a new day.

[IdontEven]

I was just going to feminize my given name, but it's never felt right. Lately I've had another one in mind that I think I like better, but I don't know. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I'm not sure I'll ever be completely pleased with my name. Or perhaps it's just a matter of fully growing into it. We'll see!

Val or Valentine is a pretty awesome name though!

[Mal]

I've always hated my very common first and middle name and have gone by my initials for years. However, I have a speech impediment that means almost everyone misunderstands the letter both my first and middle name start with, and those names even though they're common, so I knew I couldn't choose new names that start with that letter. I was named for my grandmother that died before I was born though, so I've decided to change my last name to her maiden name as a way of still honoring her. It helps that my immediate family is very transphobic, so I want to distance myself as much from them as possible anyway.

I chose Alexander for a first name because I liked the meaning and the many shortened versions of it. I'm having trouble deciding on a middle name though and still haven't found one that I feel 100% sure that I want to choose.

[WolfNightV4X1]

I was just going to feminize my given name, but it's never felt right. Lately I've had another one in mind that I think I like better, but I don't know. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I'm not sure I'll ever be completely pleased with my name. Or perhaps it's just a matter of fully growing into it. We'll see!

Val or Valentine is a pretty awesome name though!

Aye, have you considered since youre indecisive and all, having someone you care about and supports your transition name you, after all most of us are given our names rather than being named, it might help if someone chose for you just as your parents have

...just a thought.

[WolfNightV4X1]

Just leave it Val as in Val Kilmer. I've gone from Don to Dawn and the Oday business is just something to crow about. erererer roooo which is what happens at the crack o Dawn of a new day.

Oooo, I do rather like your name, its quite clever

[IdontEven]

Aye, have you considered since youre indecisive and all, having someone you care about and supports your transition name you, after all most of us are given our names rather than being named, it might help if someone chose for you just as your parents have

...just a thought.

It's not a bad thought, and if there were anyone whose taste and sense of style I admired I'd totally let them. But...

[yayo]

My mother named me