How did you decide on a name?

[RachelH]

I've always known my "if you were a girl" name, so I figured why not pick that? Most people don't get to choose the name they carry through life, and it's a nice name anyway

It's kinda funny because Paula is what I remember being my "if you were a girl name" but when my wife saw me for the first time a couple weeks ago the first thing she thought was Kate.  She has never liked Paula or the feminine version of my male name...I may be a Kate.  She simply does not like the name that ends with "i" so we shall see.

[Susan Baum]

It's kinda funny because Paula is what I remember being my "if you error a girl name" but when my wife saw me for the first time a couple weeks ago the first thing she thought was Kate.  She has never liked Paula or the feminine version of my male name...I may be a Kate.  She simply does not like the name that ends with "i" so we shall see.

You might want to trust your wife's instinct, you just may be a "Kate."

I came out to the (cis)lady I loved fairly early in our dating and introduced myself to her using a feminized version of my old middle name. (I thought I was "only" CD at the time...) The introduction went well but she let it slip that she detested the name; I also disliked the possible adaptations of my given name.
As we sat and chatted for a while, she popped up with Susan saying that I reminded her of my cousin Suzanne, whom she had met, and used it for the remainder of the evening. At first I wasn't too sure but as it rambled and wove through my thoughts for the next week or so it seemed to fit.
A week later, Susan met her after work and she added Marie as a middle name (common to both families). A name was born!
We later found out mom had been expecting a girl and my light for over 30 years had used the chosen name. 

Susan (Marie)

[Karrie]

I loved the name Carrie as a small child. Then in college I lived with a gorgeous girl named Carrie.
However that spelling was already in use as a user name here. So I had to improvise with Karrie.
Boy how I long to be the Carrie outside as I feel on the inside.
But age and life circumstances preclude me from making a transition.
So Carrie (Karrie) it is.

Karrie

[Daniellekai]

I've always liked the name Danielle, but it also is the feminized version of my male name. It'll take a lot less coaching to get people to call me Dani since they call me Danny already sometimes anyway.

[J2J]

I've pretty much settled on a name if I ever decide to pull the trigger and start my transition, not really sure how I picked it, just kind of popped into my head and thought it fits.

Plus it starts with the same letter as my male name hence 'J to J' as my forum username haha.

It's Jessica if anyone was interested, kind of feel odd typing that.

[KathyLauren]

It's Jessica if anyone was interested, kind of feel odd typing that.

Hi, Jessica.

My support group has an introduction exercise where we introduce ourselves by the name we want to use, and everyone says Hi back to us:

Me: "Hi, my name is Kathy, and my pronouns are 'she' and 'her'."
Everyone in unison: "Hi, Kathy!"

The puspose is not only as an introduction, but to get use used to speaking our new names and to hearing them said back to us.

[Kylo]

I just got my paperwork through for the name change, which is kind of a weight off my mind.

Now for the really fun part, getting other people to acknowledge it.

[J2J]

Hi, Jessica.

My support group has an introduction exercise where we introduce ourselves by the name we want to use, and everyone says Hi back to us:

Me: "Hi, my name is Kathy, and my pronouns are 'she' and 'her'."
Everyone in unison: "Hi, Kathy!"

The puspose is not only as an introduction, but to get use used to speaking our new names and to hearing them said back to us.

Thanks Kathy, you made me smile.

[NotSure81]

While I never had any problems with my first name, it was my middle and last name that I detest. My middle name just because I hate it, and my last name because its the last name my father had.

Despite having "her" strongly locked away in me my entire life, I have never named her.

I'm kind of leaning toward Ashley, or Alex... Names I've seen used by both men and women.

[meatwagon]

i started going by a short version of my birth name years ago because it was at least gender-neutral, but i knew it wasn't a full name and i didn't actually like it that much anyway.  i thought about the names it could be short for, but there weren't many to choose from.  for a while i thought i had settled on one, but it didn't really suit me.  sounded too fancy, if i kept the spelling it would end up being pronounced like a different-language version, and had rings of a religion i don't follow.  i didn't want anything foreign or flowery, and i really didn't want "the boy version of my birth name", either.  but for the longest time, i just kept drawing a blank and it was giving me hella anxiety over anything name-related.
i started just using my other nickname, even so that one wasn't a "real name" at all, because i no longer wanted anything to do with the birth name and the nickname at least had a meaning behind it that suited me.  i started thinking i would end up stuck with an unusual name because i couldn't think of anything that suited me better that sounded more normal to put on my paperwork.  not that i have the opportunity now to get a name change, but in the past i could have made the effort to get it done and i didn't while i had the chance because i just wasn't comfortable with my options.
then one day out of the blue it smacked me in the face.  there was a name that had parallels with my given name (this was sort of important to me because my first name and last name sound similar and have similar spelling, which was something i've always liked, even though i hated the actual first name).  it wasn't actually related to my birth name at all, sounded more like my last name than my birth name or any variant of it, and best of all suited my personality and background perfectly.  i had been using that name for a story character of mine for years, and that character had long been sort of based on aspects of myself, my family, and my life that were important to me.  i realized i had had a name all along, and i've been sticking with it ever since. 
i still haven't picked a middle name, though.  that one just needs to be totally replaced.  i've strongly considered using two of them to represent my father and grandfather, but i'm honestly not sure about the whole "two middle names" thing or, to a lesser degree, using surnames as middle names.

[Rayna]

My birth name was Ray, but everyone called me Randy to distinguish me from my Dad. I was always a bit uneasy with what seemed vaguely like a childish or feminine name, and even tried to go back to Ray when I entered college (failed in about 3 days lol).

One place I worked had 3 Randy/Randi's within 4 cubicles, two men and one woman.

So for now, I'm just sticking with Randy either way. I know women usually don't spell it that way, but what the heck. Finally it seems fitting for my feminine self.

Now I'm all tangled up with my passport, driver's license, voter registration and TSA Precheck having variants of these names. I have to remember to bring my passport for ID when I fly Maybe this will become an excuse to get an official name change...

[Raelynn]

Hi Ray.
I chose my name, Raelynn, because I liked it. I had dated a Raelynn and a Raelene years ago and always liked the nick name Rae. My given name is also gender neural, but out of respect of my father and son who both share it, I changed it.
I personally feel it's a good thing to change one's name to express your change into the new person you're becoming.

Sent via IBM Selectric on Tapatalk

[Kylo]

not sure about the whole "two middle names" thing or, to a lesser degree, using surnames as middle names.

I considered this as well but decided against 2 because apparently in some places/situations these days there's paperwork difficulties with more than one middle name. I'm not sure if that's true but I'd rather not have extra hassle because some people out there don't consider two mid names common enough to cater for. But it's common in some countries for difficulties if you don't cater to the generic name structure. Like in some where almost everyone has three parts to the name or a name of fours characters it can throw their system off or make more work for you if you don't. I can't see how it'd be a major problem in most English speaking countries at least.

[NickySkyAsh]

Well, my first name, Nicholas/Nick, actually comes from two of my favourite video game characters, Nick from Left 4 Dead 2, and Nick Valentine from Fallout 4, and I really liked the name, and I felt like it suited me reall well. I originally had 2 middle names, and I felt like keeping it that way, since it's kind of interesting. Skylar and Ashton I think I just found on a name website and I thought they sounded really cool. None of my names are even vaguely like my original name, except for a shared initial.

[DominiqueDiamond]

I stole my ex girlfriends Haha I loved her name Dominique and she preferred Nikki so I introduce myself as dominique and tell people they can call me Nikki and everyone I have met says Nikki is a fitting name for me!

Sent from my LGMS330 using Tapatalk

[meatwagon]

I considered this as well but decided against 2 because apparently in some places/situations these days there's paperwork difficulties with more than one middle name. I'm not sure if that's true but I'd rather not have extra hassle because some people out there don't consider two mid names common enough to cater for. But it's common in some countries for difficulties if you don't cater to the generic name structure. Like in some where almost everyone has three parts to the name or a name of fours characters it can throw their system off or make more work for you if you don't. I can't see how it'd be a major problem in most English speaking countries at least.

after doing a little searching on other people who have multiple middle names, i'm less worried about it; i've heard of some having only the first of the two used/acknowledged in certain cases, but that wasn't a problem in itself.   i'm sure there will be some situations where it could be a minor obstacle, but it's common enough around here.
still undecided overall, but i've got time to figure it out.

[Hughie]

i started going by a short version of my birth name years ago because it was at least gender-neutral, but i knew it wasn't a full name and i didn't actually like it that much anyway. 

I'm doing this for the last year or so... I like that it's gender neutral but it doesn't feel quite right either. I may end up keeping this name as a middle name and just using my pen name for my real name when I do the paperwork.

[J2J]

I did actually consider using the name my mum told me that she was going to use if I was born female but we gave it to our dog and I now I feel weird about it haha.

[Vincent J]

It was shortly after I realized I felt like a boy, when I was 8, that I then went "well, what about a name if I was a boy?" Vincent was the first one to pop in to my head and it sounded and felt right. Even to this day it feels perfect still.

[AlyssaJ]

I haven't actually settled on a name yet, although I'm pretty sure I know what it will be.  Lisa, by the way, is not the name I'll be using.  It's an old name I used for anonymity on the internet for many years but harkens back to a time and place when I thought I had a crossdressing fetish.  So it's something I need to shed.

Anyway the story of how I came to the name I'm likely going to adopt as my own going forward is kind of bizarre.  I was in New York City on business and as often is the case, having to spend three days in my male costume meeting with clients had really amp'ed up the dysphoria. While in an Uber on my way to the airport to go home, I was dwelling on the dysphoria and some depression over my wife's struggles with this situation.  I started to have some pretty depressive thoughts and the tears were starting to run from my eyes. I silently was praying that the pain would just go away.

It was at this point that we stopped next to a long fence that had been hit by taggers.  Normally I don't find much value in graffiti art, but this work initially caught my eye as being particularly well done and beautiful. As I looked over I saw that it was a name, Alyssa, with hearts, flowers and lace adorning it. I though to myself how much I like that name and I started to feel a little better.

I've since researched the etymology of that name and found it refers to a plant that was once believed to prevent insanity.  I liken that to how becoming Alyssa will prevent my own insanity (or even death).  So that gives it additional meaning.  I believe going forward my name will be Alyssa Jean. It means a lot to me and allows me to keep my birth initials. I haven't "officially" decided on it but I really like the name, it's age appropriate, and I've already used it to test it out in a few environments.