What kind of girl will I be?

[supergirl23]

I was asked that question yesterday and I had no idea what to say. At first I thought my friend was asking about what I will look like. But then I realised she was asking about my personality. I had never thought about that. I have almost every detail of my transition worked out except for my personality. Once I transition, that's a brand new life. I can be whoever I want to be. Do whatever I want to do. How do I go about finding my new personality? Or is that something that carries on over from who I used to be? It would be great to have a little carryover, because I am a "nerd". But I would also love to be a princess, with my own "princess wedding" someday! Does anyone have any idea of what I'm talking about?


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[Sandy]

SG:

Some things can't be planned.  I admire that you've given so much thought about your transition, but some things just work themselves out.

Your personality will come out naturally.  And you can be anything, *ANYTHING*, you want to be.  And yes, being a nerd-princess is perfectly acceptable.  I'm still the nerd I always was.

I kind of went through a little bit of that myself.  As I allowed myself to be myself and not filter every.single.word and every.single.gesture through the filter of "is it manly enough?" I discovered who I really was.

And I kind of like who I became.

-Sandy

[Ms Grace]

I don't think my personality changed - but I did stop pretending to be someone that I wasn't and that really made me feel free and able to express myself.

[KathyLauren]

Don't worry about it.  I think your personality will find you.

I am realising that a large part of my personality as a guy came from the woman hiding inside.  So, I am not expecting huge changes in personality.  I may shed a bit of stuff that doesn't fit and pick up some new stuff, but I will still be nerdy me.  I will just get to show people more of the real me.

[Mariah]

I don't recall my personality changing either. I have tried my best to do whatever I want to do without letting others dictate by some preset standards that they feel go with a particular gender. The key is you can be whatever kind of girl you want to be, but especially be you. Hugs
Mariah

[JoanneB]

I don't think my personality changed - but I did stop pretending to be someone that I wasn't and that really made me feel free and able to express myself.

+1

It takes time to learn and discover what it is like to really be you and not a you that is expected by others. I cannot see, nor has it happened yet, that many of the things that excite me, that make up the essence of me and my life, my likes and dislikes, my Joys will go away. In time perhaps, like tastes and desires from childhood have. Certainly not like flipping a switch, unless you try to 'Force' yourself once again to be something, someone, you may not really be

[CarlyMcx]

My personality changed pretty drastically from male, for multiple reasons.  My old personality was characterized by impatience, irritability, anxiety, and a temper that flared at the slightest frustration, and all that vanished when I started hormones.

There are also multiple dimensions to me now that were only hinted at when I was living as male.  It amazes me how much patience I have now, and it amazes me even more that I can sit back and coolly analyze situations that would have had me fuming with rage in the past.

My taste in clothing now runs to pastel tones that as a male I only wore back in the Miami Vice eighties.

My taste in cars is somewhat more feminine than it was before, and now runs to Mercedes cabriolets and Saab convertibles, where before I liked Lamborghinis and Mercedes AMG coupes.

And I've gone from being a beer drinker to more of a wine connoisseur.

I already liked gardening, home decorating, and architecture, but I like those things even more now.

I was always a little bit geeky myself, and I still am.  YMMV.

[EmilyMK03]

I don't think it's really a matter of "finding your new personality."  Rather it's more like "letting your true personality shine through."  You've presented yourself to the world as a different gender all your life, and that has altered the way you interact with everyone, both intentionally and subconsciously.  Now you're free to be who you are without the shackles of a gender that didn't match your true identity.

It's not something you need to worry about really.  Just be yourself, and your true personality will naturally shine through!

[Katiepie]

In a nutshell, just be you. If you try and act a certain way, that's just it, it will just be an act, you could be whoever you want to be as an actor. But to just be yourself, see what works out and just work it. If you are not yourself then you won't be happy.

Kate <3
Always remember to smile your face

[Larisa]

To be honest and while Ive never transitioned, I already know what my real personality is as the girl I am inside. Ive always acted as a girl but no one notices basically since I appear like a boy. My real personality is natural. It's when Ive tried to act with a boy personality that it's all forced and faked. If it's forced or faked, it's def not natural and it's not you.

I hope this helps.

[Daria67]

About 20 years ago I had a disastrous attempt at transition. At the time there was little understanding of the fluid continuum nature of both sexuality and that it is separate from the continuum of gender. I thought I had to be this super girly girl who wore high heels, had long flowing hair, wore make up but all this did to me is make me super sad and confused. I now recognize what I was doing was exactly what I did to portray my male persona and was just living another lie. The depression ended up in self-harm and hospital stays.
       Today I am the woman I am. If that means no make up that is fine. I am me, not someone else's or society's expectations. Leggings and a Tink shirt is me. Short hair is me. However I express myself is me.

[Jacqueline]

Sorry to interrupt the thread.

I want to welcome Daria to the site. It sounds like you have gotten to a much calmer and more balanced point in your life.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna