Saying goodbye to the old boy...

[LizK]

I have spent the last 3 -4 days packing up my old male persona into bags for the good will box. It has been a very interesting and at times, difficult! I have a room allocated to have all my trans stuff including my clothes, makeup,computer,books nic nacs etc etc kind of like a "Girl Cave" anyway among all of this is also all the stuff I have accumulated over the years as a guy. Some of it I will continue to do and some things are usefull but the vast majority is not.

I have cleaned everything out with the exception of the last few male items of clothing. I still need to go through these and don't expect to keep any of it. I dress now in women's clothes all the time and look Androgynous to Fem most of the time. Mostly pants and jeans with t's and tops so easily taken for a male....but that is changing as I start to change both externally and internally. 

This process was far more difficult than I would have thought. I did have a few hard moments and shed more than a couple of tears...I managed to constantly trigger my dysphoria and also gained a few memories I didn't really want. But it is done and I have great respect for the man who protected me all these years, who, despite my best efforts kept me alive until Elizabeth could take her first few tentative steps on her own. But it is time to let him go, to let him rest...I may need to call upon him again some day but I hope not.

So it is now time for Liz to show her creative side...not sure what form that will take but I get to decorate this room however I would like it...any suggestions will be warmly welcomed! It is a standard 3.5m x 3.5m bedroom with built in robes at one end. The walls are a Pale blue and the carpet is a med to dark brown. It looks very sterile at the moment and I am not finished removing the last of the general clutter yet. 

Liz 

[Ms Grace]

That's cool - I know that many people find the full identity purge to be a useful break from the past. That's great if it has been helpful for you. As for decoration - have a look through some mags and see if there is anything that takes your interest.

I still have most of my male wardrobe - not because of doubts or as a failsafe (I certainly never intend to wear those items ever again) but I wanted my transition to be a fade cut rather than a hard cut. No doubt I will give it away at some point soon...

I still have a few photos out of me as a dude too - one of me with my grandmother (now passed away) taken 11 years ago, I love that pic I don't care what gender I'm presenting as in it. I feel like I am who I am regardless of my presented gender and my life was as valid (even if restrained and unrealised) back then as it is now.

[V]

This is a good point, moving on and getting rid of the "old things".
I was lucky in that my mother came round to my place, and helped me bag everything up that was 'his', and she took it all away to a charity shop. And that was it, gone!
Actually, when I read the title of your thread, I mistakenly thought it was going to be about that last day before SRS surgery! 

[stephaniec]

Rest in Peace

[Mariah]

It's wonderful you were able to do that. I know for me I had been gradually clearing out over about a month and the day I went full time was the day I made that final purge. As far decorating you need to find what appeals to you. I agree looking at magazines would be a handy tool in doing that. I kind of winged, but based on my style. Hugs
Mariah

[Barb99]

I spent a lifetime, well the first 60 years anyway, telling everyone my favorite color was deep blue. It's an ok color but my favorite has always really been PINK.
So, after I stopped hiding who I really was, the first thing I did was paint my bedroom PINK. I love it. It looks great!

I kept my guy cloths around for 2 months after I went full time. Not sure why, but I did. Then one day I needed closet space so off to Goodwill they went. Never shed a tear, don't miss them at all.

[LizK]

Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement. I guess this is considered a step towards going full time but I kind of feel that way anyway. It seems to have crept up on me almost by stealth and just seems like the next logical step to take. Everything I have tossed out I have not used for either 6 months or it doesn't fit me anymore, so its not as though it is a great loss physically but mentally it has been a huge step and quite cathartic for me. I am in a somewhat unique position in that I don't work and my entire family apart from one brother are in another country. With those two drama's removed from my day to day life it makes things so much less complicated.

I got sick of the constant male reminders that were of no value to me and want to replace them with things that are more significant and meaningful to me. I had been feeling really out of sorts for a few days and this has helped me clarify how I feel about a few things and made me make decisions about what I want.

I am going to hit the Goodwill stores and see if I can't find some interesting things to help decorate...I have some idea's and have been looking at mags and online to get inspiration...I have this thing for butterflies which I have have kept to myself all my life so may take this and make it the basis for my color palette.

Hi V if it was the day before I have my SRS I think the Title might be "Saying goodbye to a couple of nuts I know"...just kidding

I never considered the significance of purging my male self until pointed out by Mariah...Despite having all the normal concerns about transition and the difficulties that come with it my subconscious continues to move me forward. I have found myself now looking at SRS surgeons and costs with timelines, of when/how, bouncing around in my head. I now have room for that stuff since starting HRT and my Dysphoria has taken a bit more of a back seat. My Dysphoria has far less influence on my decisions than it did as I now have room in my head for other stuff.

Hugs
Liz

[Devlyn]

I know he was a good man......now kick that son of a gun to the curb!

Hugs, Devlyn

[V]

Hi V if it was the day before I have my SRS I think the Title might be "Saying goodbye to a couple of nuts I know"...just kidding

Hugs
Liz

Hi Liz, that's a good one! 
I wanted my surgeon to save mine for me so I could make some novelty earrings with them, but alas, it was not to be 

[alex82]

This is a good point, moving on and getting rid of the "old things".
I was lucky in that my mother came round to my place, and helped me bag everything up that was 'his', and she took it all away to a charity shop. And that was it, gone!
Actually, when I read the title of your thread, I mistakenly thought it was going to be about that last day before SRS surgery! 

Glad it's not just me. That's the only thing I thought it'd be about.

[Sharon Anne McC]

*

Recalling the toughest part of my purge was sending items of emotional value to Goodwill.

I had a handmade sweater, a coat, and men's pants that were gifts.  I wore them to the extent of their time and propriety.  Eventually there was no point wearing them; that meant it was time to let them go.

*