Respect!!

[pheonix]

hey everybody i'm pheonix i'm from algeria and i'm a pre-t guy....living here is so hard cause no one really accept me , they don't even know what trans means most of them mistake it with bieng a tomboy or a lesbian anyway i comeout to my family and they were ok with it (i'm sure they even didn't understood what trans means) but most of them be like we are used to you and you don't have to tell us anything they mean they are used to me wearing men clothes and acting as any other man....the thing is i feel they do it just like that i mean they don't really accept me as a man or anything and most of them seeing me as a tomboy always when i try to act as a real man they always have to laugh and make jokes like before two days i was out with my aunt and she keep saying oh its too dark if only a man with us or they keep saying for example when i try to defend my self they be like be wathever you are but just dont lose ur mind and believe ur self u cant fight a man and that i'm weak and that i have different body ...they don't respect me at all and they even enjoy puting me in situations to see how i will act and laugh even my mom do that ...i really don't know what to do to let them respect me...i talked with a friend he is trans guy and he told me respect is gained and that i have to prove them that i'm a real man and i even entered real fights with guys double my size and i won and they still dont respect me thay say oh u just was lucky i dont know what i really need to do i'm so tired from all that cr**p....help any advice?!!

[Elis]

From personal experience with my dad it takes time and perseverance. Send them links on what being trans is like or how them disrespecting you makes you feel. Unfortunately parents for the most part go into denial mode and don't think you're a 'real' man until you're taking T or have surgeries.

I wish you the best of luck . And Algeria; that's cool

[Peep]

In some ways being desperate for respect or to be seen as a man is the behaviour of a boy, not man... if you keep on focusing on being true to yourself, eventually people will see you as you want to be seen. You already are a real man ;)

That said if "tomboy" jokes bother you, you could explain this to your family and ask that they stop, maybe they will? Maybe they don't realise that it hurts you. I've got a family that likes to joke and mock each other, but if one thing is too close to the bone they will stop if asked.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Do you believe that provoking physical fights makes you a real man?

How about sending somebody to the hospital?

Or getting arrested?

Would being on probation make you a real man?

Think about what you're doing. Some fights are worth fighting. Picking on someone just to "prove yourself", is that a worthwhile thing to do?

I fight for social justice. The last thing I would want to do is pick off someone I knew was weaker than me and hurt them.

If you stand up for what is right, people will respect you. If you run around acting like an insecure punk, they won't. Because you've already told them that you don't respect yourself.

[WolfNightV4X1]

I think most people dont understand the concept because they arent living it, not because they're actually trying to disrespect you (clearly they don't mind your masculine tendencies, they dont seem harsh and abrasive, rather just clueless). You were born with certain genitals and to them that determines what you are, because in their minds it's perfectly natural for someone to be aligned with what they were born as, and not something else while having the genitals and secondary sex traits of the other. It's literally off their perspective to think of and they can't literally put themselves in your shoes. That's why they don't take you as a man, they can't comprehend that you aren't a masculine woman for some reason.

It will likely take time, and maybe upon investing in more masculinizing effects on your physical self they might be able to see it, especially if others who don't know you can tell that you're a man.

[FTMax]

Do you believe that provoking physical fights makes you a real man?

How about sending somebody to the hospital?

Or getting arrested?

Would being on probation make you a real man?

Think about what you're doing. Some fights are worth fighting. Picking on someone just to "prove yourself", is that a worthwhile thing to do?

I fight for social justice. The last thing I would want to do is pick off someone I knew was weaker than me and hurt them.

If you stand up for what is right, people will respect you. If you run around acting like an insecure punk, they won't. Because you've already told them that you don't respect yourself.

This, 100%

The behavior you described in your original post, at least in my country, is that of a child and not a man. While I do believe that people have an inherent right to be respected for who they are, when you are dealing with skeptical people or people who right off the bat don't want to respect you, you need to be the bigger person. Work to better yourself, not hurting others. Excel in school. Excel at work. Get involved in your community. Get involved in advocacy work in your country.