Positive Side of Being Transgender

[Brenda3156]

This is not a "condition" we chose. In fact I doubt that anyone would chose to experience what we do. My attitude has been that since this is who I am lets make the best of it. A lot is written about the negative side. I did a search on positive aspects of this existence and didn't come up with much. I also wanted to document for myself what I saw as the positives.

1) It isn't boring! Life is more interesting to me and I feel that my personality is more diverse than what I see in people who are not transgendered. I am more accepting of peoples differences because of it. Also there are aspects of this that are exciting for me. I am not full time and I look forward to, and the anticipation builds as I get close, to being "Brenda". At times I almost run to get dressed when a chance comes!

2) I feel closer to my wife. It is like we have more in common. She enjoys it too. We have days where we shop together and go to lunch. Shopping is now fun. My first wife never accepted me (even tho we were married 33 years). My second wife loves both sides of me, and loves me for who I am, not some image she has of me.

3} Shopping. I remember with my first wife I hated clothes shopping. It was like a punishment. Now I absolutely love it.  We hit Macy's (wife is a Macey's girl, she loves the place) and Cato and Target and Walmart. We go to lunch. We pick out clothes and jewelry and makeup for each other. We go to Bed, Bath & Beyond and pick out bubble bath and lotion. We have fun with other people in the store too. My wife makes up a story about how nice a certain top will look on her when it is really for me when someone is around. Sometimes I think people know, but I kind of like that too.

4) Personality Plus. I feel that having a strong feminine side has made me a better person. I can think back to times when I could be more nurturing with my kids when they were little, where I could have more patience with my wife, where I could be a better friend, where I could be tolerate some of my irritating relatives a little easier and where I could be more supportive and understanding with my brother who has a serious mental illness.

5) A better supervisor and boss at work. I am a better listener and problem solver. My communication skills are better. I discipline and fire people with more of a heart and try to help them develop as employees or help them with a nice reference letter (even when maybe they didn't deserve it). I am able to deal with union issues in a more fair and friendly way.

That's all I can think of right now but I know there are more. Add to the list! I would be interested to see how others view this. Even though I would not have picked this existence, I know it is a big part of who I am. Over the years I have accepted that and learned to live with it. Without it I wouldn't be the same person.

[Brenda3156]

Thought of another one. I take better care of myself. I am cleaner and smell better than I used to!

[Deborah]

These may not be related to being trans at all but I have a really high level of empathy which is something I knew about myself even before I knew I was trans.  I also find it very easy to "read" people when dealing with them in person.  Both of these things are very valuable in face to face interactions and I've always felt they gave me some advantage in leadership positions and in interviews as well as just generally getting by in life.

Unfortunately, none of that works over the internet and I'm always afraid I come across differently than what I intend.

[Michelle_P]

I feel more in touch with the problems or difficulties of others than I did as a (very repressed) male.  I feel a stronger emotional connection to others now.  I suspect this isn't really from my transgender nature as much as it is from simply healing and starting to rejoin the human race. Still, it wouldn't be happening if I hadn't acknowledged and accepted being a transgender person.

[SlateRDays]

In my case, as I come into, or back into my male self, I am able to be more assertive and tactfull, versus completely abrasive. Training as a woman has had a deeper influence that will not go away for sure.

I can empathise to a certain degree, the issues men and women face, and also help provide insight in possible thoughts, and behaviours and how best to deal with them.

Though my masculine side is coming back into it's full glory after years of suppression, I am still able to be nurturing, it's just, I've learned how to pull the energy back before too much is taken from me. I don't take as much personally as a I used to (this is still a process), and I am able to honour and express love in a physical, but beautiful way in nature.

I feel we as transpeople have the gift of teaching cisgender individuals, what it looks like to be whole people. Because I feel, that once we accept our true selves, we are whole. However to a degree cisgender people are still seperated between male and female. Once more of them balance out their masculine and feminine sides, they too will become just as whole, but without as much of a struggle as us transpeople.

What a life.

[KarlMars]

I developed empathy for women's issues even though I'll never feel or think like a woman I have had women's experiences.

[Kylo]

I do feel like I have the best of both worlds mentally.

I got assertiveness, competitiveness and I don't mind taking a few risks and getting off on the fact; I've got some pride in myself and I don't take crap. At the same time I can multitask, I can appreciate comforts, communicate well, study well, be creative. I like rationality, but I can appreciate the human element in everything. Emotion is there, logic is there. The desire to self-improve is constantly there, because we can always try harder to be better.

As much as I feel I've gotten the raw deal with my body, I'm sure glad I have my mind. It's a beast. There's no situation it hasn't been able to deal with.

[barbie]

For me:

1. I can figure out and experience the two worlds of both men and women.

2. I have a slender but stronger body than most women.

3. I have a lot of female friends.

4. People say I have a beautiful brain, too.

5. People remember me so well, and I do not need name cards.

6. Workers at restaurants remember me so well to be very kind and take care of me.

7. When I need some break, I can spend time in fashion and beauty to be relaxed.

8. I can use both men's and women's restroom.

And etc.

barbie~~