Post-op highs and lows

[steel86man]

Just had top surgery almost two weeks ago and I was feeling, emotionally, really good. I have depression and anxiety but was working on it with before surgery because I really wanted this. After surgery I was so stoked to have my chest be legit. Now though I have been feeling low again and idk if that's normal. I don't regret my surgery, I just I guess wanted to know if anyone has experienced anything like this.

[Dena]

It's not uncommon. You have accomplished one goal and now you are looking at the next. As long as you are moving forward, the dysphoria can be controlled. When you stop, it often returns.

[steel86man]

It's not uncommon. You have accomplished one goal and now you are looking at the next. As long as you are moving forward, the dysphoria can be controlled. When you stop, it often returns.

That makes a lot of sense. I think I've allowed myself to succumb to my depression and not only stop but get stuck. Thus, my dysphoria and body image problems are quite high. Thank you for your insight!


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[AnonyMs]

I've definitely found its the progress that makes things better, and if I stop too long I get depressed. My too long is Far longer though.

[groudon18]

I don't know if it was mentioned by your doctor, but on the pre op and post op instructions I was given for mine, it mentioned that after surgery it is common for some people to go through a period of depression/range of emotions. I think that probably counts for any amount of time shortl after, even if it isn't immediate. I've heard of plenty of others getting post op depression for a bit. It might even just be a part of the general healing process. I know I was up and down a bit in emotions throughout the first few weeks. I'm almost 6 weeks post op now. Each day is better and better and I swear every day it heals more! The more time passes, the better you'll feel, whatever reason for your sadness.

[RaptorChops]

I have been off an on depression over my chest and had my surgery about a year ago. I'm happy I had it done and I don't regret doing it. I'm just depressed that my chest doesn't seem to be filling in so to speak. I was completely flat after my surgery but my one side kind of had an indent and my nipples look a little weird. It's depressing seeing these younger FTMs with their muscular chest :p. I have like a 12 y/o boys chest and I'm 31.

[steel86man]

I don't know if it was mentioned by your doctor, but on the pre op and post op instructions I was given for mine, it mentioned that after surgery it is common for some people to go through a period of depression/range of emotions. I think that probably counts for any amount of time shortl after, even if it isn't immediate. I've heard of plenty of others getting post op depression for a bit. It might even just be a part of the general healing process. I know I was up and down a bit in emotions throughout the first few weeks. I'm almost 6 weeks post op now. Each day is better and better and I swear every day it heals more! The more time passes, the better you'll feel, whatever reason for your sadness.

I don't think my doctor mentioned that but it makes sense. I already have depression but this is different, like you hinted at. Thank you for your input and congrats on your surgery, 6 weeks ago!

[steel86man]

I have been off an on depression over my chest and had my surgery about a year ago. I'm happy I had it done and I don't regret doing it. I'm just depressed that my chest doesn't seem to be filling in so to speak. I was completely flat after my surgery but my one side kind of had an indent and my nipples look a little weird. It's depressing seeing these younger FTMs with their muscular chest :p. I have like a 12 y/o boys chest and I'm 31.

Congratulations on your one year anniversary post op! I can in some ways relate but for a very different reason. I am a chubbier guy so they made my chest look like it fit in with my body. So I still feel like I've got flab but it is flat, idk, I guess I should have lost more weight. And I know my nipples are still healing so I'll have to wait and see with them.

[RaptorChops]

Thank you and congrats to you as well!

Things will get better over time though. The chest is hard to build up anyways from what I've read. It also takes a lot of time to heal until you can see your final results. Just be happy it's over with and you can start wearing a t-shirt without a stupid sweaty binder. Nobody is going to see under the shirt that's one way I look at it. I'm wondering if maybe you are depressed because you're coming off the pain meds? I know I was having a little bit of a difficult time coming off them because I liked the way they made me feel. Once it's out of your system you'll feel a little bit better.

[steel86man]

Thank you and congrats to you as well!

Things will get better over time though. The chest is hard to build up anyways from what I've read. It also takes a lot of time to heal until you can see your final results. Just be happy it's over with and you can start wearing a t-shirt without a stupid sweaty binder. Nobody is going to see under the shirt that's one way I look at it. I'm wondering if maybe you are depressed because you're coming off the pain meds? I know I was having a little bit of a difficult time coming off them because I liked the way they made me feel. Once it's out of your system you'll feel a little bit better.

I know I'm so happy I don't have to way anymore binders, it gets humid hot in the summer where I live. It's weird though, I still feel a strange sensation like I need to cover up under my shirt haha. I guess after begrudgingly doing it so long it has sadly still become second nature. As for the pain meds, I never thought about that, that could be. God I don't like that stuff. I mean it felt kind of nice but there's so much nastiness involved with them too.

[lionheart]

I'm the same. I had my top surgery about a month ago and I've been going through phases of being in love with my chest and being kind of disappointed about it. There are a few things I wish the doctor had done differently, but I think before the surgery I had an image of what I thought/wanted my chest to look like which certainly isn't helping. I try to keep telling myself it's still in the early stages and it'll just continue to improve over time, but it's so hard to have to wait.

Obviously I love having a flat chest though and not having to bind anymore, but the recovery has been pretty rough. However, I've slowly been regaining my abilities (reaching higher up, driving, etc.) Like I said, right now really the worst part is the waiting.

[steel86man]

I'm the same. I had my top surgery about a month ago and I've been going through phases of being in love with my chest and being kind of disappointed about it. There are a few things I wish the doctor had done differently, but I think before the surgery I had an image of what I thought/wanted my chest to look like which certainly isn't helping. I try to keep telling myself it's still in the early stages and it'll just continue to improve over time, but it's so hard to have to wait.

Obviously I love having a flat chest though and not having to bind anymore, but the recovery has been pretty rough. However, I've slowly been regaining my abilities (reaching higher up, driving, etc.) Like I said, right now really the worst part is the waiting.

Exactly. I was envisioning my chest a certain way and it's not but then I was seeing myself with a flatter stomach (maybe some abs) too lol.

It'll certainly be interesting to see how it is in the next few months to a year.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I have been off an on depression over my chest and had my surgery about a year ago. I'm happy I had it done and I don't regret doing it. I'm just depressed that my chest doesn't seem to be filling in so to speak. I was completely flat after my surgery but my one side kind of had an indent and my nipples look a little weird. It's depressing seeing these younger FTMs with their muscular chest :p. I have like a 12 y/o boys chest and I'm 31.

Me too, RaptorChops, me too! I look like the guy who gets sand kicked on him in those Charles Atlas comics!

Building up my chest is slow going at age 36. I have a full time, physically demanding job that wears me down. I get muscle cramps. I get tired. I basically start to make progress and then have to stop a lot. So frustrating. I see all these college boys with giant pecs, the jerks.

Oh well, at least I can run a lot better than I could pre-everything :p

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Congratulations on your one year anniversary post op! I can in some ways relate but for a very different reason. I am a chubbier guy so they made my chest look like it fit in with my body. So I still feel like I've got flab but it is flat, idk, I guess I should have lost more weight. And I know my nipples are still healing so I'll have to wait and see with them.

I've actually had some subcutaneous fat come in and fill in post op. It looks very natural for a male but after years of those damn boobies and how they would grow (shudder) I feel paranoid about any fat in that area, even fat that looks normal. I think I'll feel better if I can get my pecs to grow a bit to get more masculine definition. Also want bigger traps, bigger neck, you know, all that stuff. A lot of fat moved up there on T so I know I have the capacity to get bigger, I just haven't tapped it. (My job and my age aren't helping, of course, although I'm certainly not too old to grow muscle. I just have to deal with spasms and pain well beyond what a younger person would have to deal with.)

[steel86man]

I've actually had some subcutaneous fat come in and fill in post op. It looks very natural for a male but after years of those damn boobies and how they would grow (shudder) I feel paranoid about any fat in that area, even fat that looks normal. I think I'll feel better if I can get my pecs to grow a bit to get more masculine definition. Also want bigger traps, bigger neck, you know, all that stuff. A lot of fat moved up there on T so I know I have the capacity to get bigger, I just haven't tapped it. (My job and my age aren't helping, of course, although I'm certainly not too old to grow muscle. I just have to deal with spasms and pain well beyond what a younger person would have to deal with.)

I can definitely relate! I've had a lot of injuries, medical issues, and mental health issues that prevent from building the body I really want. I feel lazy for not taking advantage, per se, of my hormones but between daily pain and little to no energy I just haven't been able to. Meanwhile, I'll get the occasional Men's Health magazine and read articles on how to get ripped and compare myself to all the cis guys in the magazine. It's funny, I never compare myself to chubby cis men only the ones who have probably 7-10% body fat and much taller.