Off to the doctor, need some advice

[RedfootDaddy]

So it's off to the doctor on Friday for me. With my wife's diabetes and my mental illness diagnoses, we see him at least every six months for a general check-up, routine blood work.

While he's familiar with and is helping treat my borderline personality disorder, depression, and anxiety diagnoses, I've never really discussed gender issues with him. Last time I was in I brought up my problems around my period obliquely. He gave me meds for most of the physical symptoms, but I didn't touch the intense dysphoria that pops up. Or dysphoria in general.

I think I would like to explore my hormonal options. Either adding testosterone or trying to regulate or decrease my estrogen (which is already on hyperdrive because of my weight). I also definitely would like to speak to a gender therapist, especially if I'm going to be doing things to my body chemistry.

So . . . what do I say? How do I bring all this up? I don't even know where to begin. "Hey doc, I don't feel like a woman but I also don't feel like a man, fix it with the stuff"?

He's young (younger than me - and I'm too young to have reached that point of my life!) and so far open-minded.

[EyesOpen]

How did it go? I've been away from the site for a while and just saw this now...

It's too late for advice, but if he doesn't specialize in gender, I'd just ask for a referral. Personally, I found a place that specializes in gender therapy and just sent them an email on my own. The phrase I used was "gender identity issues" -- vague enough that I didn't get uncomfortable mentioning it, but specific enough that they know what's going on.


Hope it all went well <3

[Ayla]

RFD

Hope your visit to the Doctor went well.  I think that it does take a little courage to broach the subject of dysphoria, but it is a necessary first step in getting access to the right sort of support and treatment options.  In my case I just came straight out with it.   If just diving in seems a little scarey perhaps you could say that you have been feeling increasingly stressed,  that the same issue has caused you stress for many years, and that it is gender related.  This should then set up the opportunity for an honest and thorough discussion with your doctor.

At the very least you will feel better from unburdening yourself, and most likely they will work with you to determine your situation, objective and treatment options.  At his stage honesty (with yourself and with them) is important.  If you find that they are not able or willing to help then find another Doctor with more relevant experience or who is a better fit with you.

Safe travels

Aisla

[RedfootDaddy]

Thanks for your kind words My doc appt actually got pushed until this past Friday.

I love my doctor ;-; he's a great guy, but I've reached the point in my life where my doctor is younger than I am, so he's still a little inexperienced with some things. When I told him I was experiencing strong dysphoria and would like a referral to a gender therapist, he looked terrified for a minute. But he's good in that he doesn't pretend to know things he doesn't. He asked me what experiencing dysphoria was like, and totally empathised.

He was also very understanding of the need to transition away from what I am, but not knowing the end goal yet. It was actually really comforting to get his support. He said he's happy to do what he can to help on the medical side, and he's going to start doing his homework for the next time we see each other.

So, short version:
I have a gender therapist to check out (covered by the government - yay!)
Trying Micronor (progesterone-only birth control) to see if no periods lessens my dysphoria - need some more research before I fill the script
On the list for a bariatric surgery consult (covered by the government - yay again!)

[EyesOpen]

Yaaay! I'm excited for you. Taking that first step is big. It takes a bit of time to start accepting yourself, but it makes things easier once it happens.

And damn. I'm jealous of CA's healthcare system O.o

[DawnOday]

My advice is to see a therapist and let them introduce to your GP with the recommendation letter you more than likely will require. I went to therapist on at least 6 occasions ostensibly to discuss my gender dysphoria. All six times I chickened out and told them I was stressed. Thirty years later I finally succumbed to the nagging question in my life. Was I born in the wrong body and moreso with the wrong brain? Speak honestly for the first time I could feel the weight coming off my shoulders. After three sessions I had my letter, some inkling for the thoughts I had, answers to why I am so sick. I also had answers why I would isolate myself from everyone else but my family. Now three months on HRT I think it was the right move for me. My outlook has improved 100% I still have 100% to go.  Good luck

Dawn

[Ayla]

RFD
Congratulations.  It sounds like you are now well on your way.  The hardest part, seeking help, is in many ways, now behind you.  If your experience of low or full dose hrt is anything like mine or DawnOday then your life will be transformed.  For me it's was suddenly feeling 'right', nil dysphoria, stress forgotten and a much richer sense of self and life experience.
I wish you well and look forward to hearing how you do.
Safe travels
Aisla

[CV]

Your approach sounds sensible from a testing ground genderqueer angle. No need to jump straight into HRT that may have irreversible effects (testosterone for you, which definitely does) but take it gradual and see if just phase shifting away from female a bit is enough for you, or if that works and you feel like you want to amp up your masculinity factor, you could always start low dose and suss it out until you feel comfortable.
Your doctor sounds like a good egg. Some of the most supportive people I've had in transition have been the least likely - one GP was at least 70 years old and had never met a transsexual before in his life, and he was amazingly cool with it all. It's awesome that a young doc will be supportive and understanding and get you where you need to go / see who you need to see and not freak out about it.