Steps in transition vs whole transition

[Denise]

I just finished reading a wonderful post about having a totally positive experience with an intake appointment.  It got me thinking.  We're they scared, apprehensive, or totally out of their mind with fear to go?

How many of us have been that way before we "took a step in transition" only to find we had nothing to fear.

That got me thinking about how to help those who are yet to follow. 

After each step I took, I kinda thought about these few questions.

Would you do it again?
Was there anything negative?
Would you recommend the same [location, doctor, time, color...] for others?
Were you unnecessarily worried?
Did the sky fall?

It's questions and answers like this that helped me to understand that transition is scary, it truly is, but no one step alone should be.  (Maybe telling immediate family excluded.)

I'll put it this way.  If I asked you to get on your bike and ride 500 miles.  Would you think I'm nuts?  How about riding 1 mile every day for 18 months?

The complete transition is rough, tough and sometimes painful. But each step might be scary but in the end, probably won't be and you'll see exert a lot of energy worrying over things you have no control over.


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[Toni]

Hi Denise, been reading your posts for a while and have been watching your wonderful progress.  I know you've had some tough bridges that you had to cross, but your determination shows and that you want to share some things that helped you is one more example of how we find much more along this journey than just ourselves.  Compassion for others going through similar hells, community of those we feel compelled to try to help often learned by the example of those who have gone out of their way to help us, and hope as we see others become happy and beautiful people, each authentic and unique.  Thanks, Toni

[Denise]

Hi Denise, been reading your posts for a while and have been watching your wonderful progress.  I know you've had some tough bridges that you had to cross, but your determination shows and that you want to share some things that helped you is one more example of how we find much more along this journey than just ourselves.  Compassion for others going through similar hells, community of those we feel compelled to try to help often learned by the example of those who have gone out of their way to help us, and hope as we see others become happy and beautiful people, each authentic and unique.  Thanks, Toni

Thanks Toni. 

You used the word determination.  Interesting.  I'm not sure if I would use that term.  I like to think of it as necessity.  I transitioned, not out of determination, but necessity.

Either I transition or die.  It was very obvious to me in the summer of '16 that "choice" was gone.  I had to do it.

My postings here are too help our brothers and sisters through VERY difficult times.  I always try to be positive as negativity leads to sadness and depression.

I'm the words of a contemporary artist: "always look on the bright side of life."

Thanks again for the reassurance I'm doing okay.  Paranoia sucks.

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[Sephirah]

Insightful post, Denise. And the same applies to many other things in life, too. As I like to think of it - you don't swallow a steak whole, you cut it into bite sized pieces. Life is no different.

I think that most of us are unnecessarily worried about many things in life. And even more so with transitioning. Unfortunately, foresight is way more skittish than hindsight because much of it is coloured by our own perceptions and emotions. Of ourselves and the way we see the world. Our mental states at the time of envisioning. We make futures the way we think they're going to be, rather than how they actually are. Foresight is subjective, hindsight is objective. And the bigger the task, the more compounded all this is.

I like your bike riding analogy. That's a good way to look at it.

[Denise]

...

I like your bike riding analogy. That's a good way to look at it.

thanks.  Funny thing is is I do a 500 mile bike ride for runaway kids each summer.  A Lot of the kids are homeless because they came out as LGBT and dad threw them out.

[Allison S]

I'n with you sister. But the emotional rollercoasters (yes, plural for me) that come with transitioning from male to female is nothing I thought I would ever experience. It's exhilarating yet very crazy and scary. But I guess it'll all level out later on.

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[KathyLauren]

How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.

I really like your advice, Denise, especially the idea of looking back at each just-completed stage and assessing how it went with regards to having been scared.  That is a great way to build self-confidence!