Ok I've been back at hotel since yesterday. Things have been going fairly well. The only problem I'm having is controlling (holding) my pee, but I already had this pre surgery. Once I feel the need I better get there quick, just like before. Difference now is that even though I have to rush to get to toilet, I sit for about 30 secs before going ugh!! I also need to go quite frequently. I've gone 3 times while writing this!! My bowell movements have been very good, that was also the case before. Difference is, (tmi) clean up is so much less. Not sure why lol.
I am still quite swollen. Mostly the pubis mound. But what surprises me more is that my thighs are also, and very bruised. I actualy have some hips lol. Sitting is difficult, once seated I need to stay that way. It is frustrating that I can't cross my legs. I have always crossed my legs when sitting, even pre transition. It's the only comfortable way for me to sit. In fact I have a hard time eating and digesting food if my legs arnt crossed. Weird, I know!!
I will go to clinic tommorow to get checked and learn to dilate. Yikes. I havnt explored my anatomy too much, I'm afraid I may break something lol. I am able to see things well if I bend over backwards to mirror. My vagina seems very big, looks as if I could fit the largest dilater in now. Not sure why, it could be because I am bending over when viewing.
I'm not feeling any phantom penis feelings anymore. Thank goodness! I do have some strong twinges at times and some nice feelings too. Mostly though I am quit numb down there. Pain has been acceptable. I have only been on 500mg of Tylenol since day one. And only 2-3 a day. The pressure and swolleness is more uncomfortable than painful.
My surgery was postponed a few days due to extra testing. I was scheduled to leave on the 12th. Now it's the 15th. It still may be the 12th. I will find out tommorow. I'm fine with that if Dr is, but I'm in no rush to leave if he feels otherwise it's also my decision to leave on original date if he okay's it.
As for feeling different now that ITS gone. Not too much, but then again I am swollen and numb. I do look down in astonishment to try and imagine where it was lol. The smoothness is no different, Its actualy more bulging because of the swolleness and pad. Before surgery I was tucked 24/7 even at night. I had very little (hence the grafts) and my testes were ascended into the hip cavity. The yoga pants and leggings I brought look bad now! I have this huge mound!! Before surgery I was sometimes worried that the little I had would show when wearing leggings or yoga pants. Now I'm huge! But it has gone down already after just one day.
Walking makes things much worse, things will swell all over again. Laying in bed is the best, but it's not me!! Don't get me wrong, I love my naps! But I have a hard time doing just nothing!
Tommorow will be another big step in my journey. I will for the first time have something inserted into my vagina. A vagina I didn't have 3 days ago!😳 Someday I will have something else inserted into it for pleasure. Then I will finally have normal sex for the first time in my life. 😀
Thanks for listening 😉😉