I don't want to be transgender

[KarlMars]

so as an experiment I'm going to start dressing like a girl again. Dysphoria comes and goes and I figure I'll save my male clothing and slowly start buying female clothing again. I might describe myself as gender fluid in the future. Has anyone else tried this before?

[Xirafel]

Many times. It failed. I really, really pushed it too to try to purge the trans out of my system. Failed.

I have no clue how it will go for you.

[SadieBlake]

Hard to imagine wanting to be transgender, ehh? I'm aiming for gender fluid simply because passing is too high a bar for me and so my choice for now will be the best aesthetic look I can come up with.

Are you on HRT? At 7 months of hrt I tried going off estrogen, not to see if I i could stop transitioning, rather to see if it would be possible to cycle hormones between E-T to retain some of the libido that E was costing me. That was a horrible experience and I cut it off at 3 weeks of worse disphoria and even less sexual energy.

Happily progesterone seems to be returning my sexuality to something I'm much happier with and so far -- it's early to say for sure at 2 weeks.

What causes your disphoria? It seems different for everyone, hence the solutions may also be different.

[KarlMars]

Hard to imagine wanting to be transgender, ehh? I'm aiming for gender fluid simply because passing is too high a bar for me and so my choice for now will be the best aesthetic look I can come up with.

Are you on HRT? At 7 months of hrt I tried going off estrogen, not to see if I i could stop transitioning, rather to see if it would be possible to cycle hormones between E-T to retain some of the libido that E was costing me. That was a horrible experience and I cut it off at 3 weeks of worse disphoria and even less sexual energy.

Happily progesterone seems to be returning my sexuality to something I'm much happier with and so far -- it's early to say for sure at 2 weeks.

What causes your disphoria? It seems different for everyone, hence the solutions may also be different.

Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't linked to sexism I have experienced. I'm considering myself gender fluid out of fear of losing the old me, and because you can't undo the hormones. I was due to start hormones in November, but I'm cancelling it. I'm buying a new female wardrobe and packing the men's clothes I've worn the past few years up in case I become dysphoric again.

[Amanda_Combs]

I imagine sometimes what it would be like if being trans* was literally considered no more different than different haircolors or height, like people are just different, but all equally valid.  When I imagine real hard, I think I could be happy about being trans*.  Crazy, I know.  But, I would think that having better insight into both genders, as well as more motivation to take care of my body is pretty cool if we could just get past all the stigma.  Some fantasy, right? 
And if you feel the same way, I feel it's very important to not push back against your feelings too hard.  We all wish it could go away; but I never lie into the mirror because I've been too close to suicide to take that chance.
Just remember that you are a unique individual and your feelings matter.  God bless you!


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[Devlyn]

so as an experiment I'm going to start dressing like a girl again. Dysphoria comes and goes and I figure I'll save my male clothing and slowly start buying female clothing again. I might describe myself as gender fluid in the future. Has anyone else tried this before?

You're doing exactly what you should be doing. The first step is always figuring yourself out, and sometimes that means experimenting. I'm genderfluid, but my wardrobe is 100% female and I've ditched all my male clothing. So even on a male day I'm in women's clothing.

Hugs, Devlyn