Excitement or lack of

[Megan.]

I see many here very excited when they start their HRT or hit other big milestones in their journey, and many others seem to share that excitement. I too am happy for them.
I'm not sure if it's because I've taken such an incremental approach to my transition, or that it has come at the cost of my marriage, home and children, but I don't find excitement or much to celebrate when I hit these points. Do others feel the same? as it causes me doubt...

[Jacqueline]

Some of them yes, I am the same. My first electrolysis meeting and mini session is an example. I walked out thinking, well that is a permanent change. However, I was not really excited.

I think I was more excited about getting the letter and the script for HRT. Picking it up and starting it was pretty similar. Non event. However, when noticing changes, those are pretty big for me.

Not sure if that helps or is what you meant...

With warmth,

Joanna

[Megan.]

Joanna, yes thank you. There have certainly been times I've been very nervous and really questioned if what I was doing was right. Flying to Istanbul on my own for my FUE transplant was a big one, and ofc coming out to family and friends. At each step, the experience has been a positive one for me (despite huge costs and sadness) , which has helped confirm I'm on the right path. It's still a long road, but I'll be happy to just get through it and get on with my life.

[Lady Sarah]

For myself, the biggest moment was on December 23, 1994. That was the day I had my orchiectomy. Other dates just do not seem to have the same flair.

[Cindy]

Speaking as a very post transition woman I think there was an initial thrill or excitement when the conveyor belt of transitioning began, but very quickly it did just become a conveyor belt. I'm a woman who likes female things and I;m very comfortable with that but excited? No,

OK if I'm going somewhere special and it is an opportunity to get dressed up with the trimmings, yes it can be a bus, but every day is every day. I get my hair done and it is nice but it is also necessity, the same goes for life in general.

In the early days I was thrilled to get my name change, and then it was oh well, passport, driving licence OMG so many different chores to change my name on. It was just life. I don't think that is a bad point of view, it is more or a ready acceptance of your life and being very comfortable in it. That is the key point, being comfortable in your life.

[Megan.]

Cindy, thank you. I guess for each excited post there are plenty of others just getting on with it. I agree that getting dolled up for the odd special night is nice, but even though I'm not even full time yet, the rest just seems quite normal.

[HappyMoni]

If you think about it, transition is about exchanging one normal life for another (more appropriate) life. If you waited a long time to do that, it is thrilling to finally get there. Once done, the highs of transitioning can't continue with the same intensity.
Moni

[StillAnonymous]

From browsing these forums and with my own experience, which has only begun with HRT, it seems lot of people lose excitement.  I feel less excited than before, and maybe it's because it's just becoming a normal life that I am comfortable with.

[EmilyMK03]

I was excited when I did my legal name change.  But not the day before, or during that day.  At the end of the day I was just kind of excited for how well things went and how good I felt to finally get that done.

But that's really kind of it for "excitement".  Not even my rhinoplasty or my later FFS made me excited before, during, or after... because all I could think about was the pain and discomfort of post-op recovery.

Sure, there are moments of happiness, more so than before, now that I'm full-time.  Like on Labor Day weekend, when I spent the day with my mom at the Chicago Art Institute and Jazz Festival as my authentic self.  That was fun.  And a happy time.

But I don't know... excitement?  Not really.  That feeling is extremely rare.  In fact, I think I get more excited when I think about getting back to playing World of Warcraft again, LOL.

There isn't really anything exciting about being a woman IMO.  50% of the population is women!  Just being a woman isn't really that special or unique.  Why get excited about it?  But I am glad I am transitioning, because it allows me to live my life more as a normal person without the dysphoria dragging down other parts of my life.  And that's important.

editted to add:  I was never excited in anticipation of starting HRT either.  And I was never excited once I actually started it.  It was more like "hmmm, this feels right, I'm glad I took this step"

[Michelle_P]

Its not excitement, but tremendous relief for me as I progress through transition. Honestly, the big 'excitement' for me is a sense of rejoining the human race after decades of isolation.

Well, that and a really good makeover...


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[michelleh]

Better than excitement is a deep satisfaction in being fully alive. It's not a trill ride it's a quiet expectation life can now be embraced. You have giving birth to you. There is no going back. My self image and self worth has soared. I am very happy that will never change!!!!!!!!😘
Michelle

[Sinclair]

For me, and I have been on this journey for years, I wake up every morning excited to see more changes. But, they may be just adjustments, to accept who I see in the mirror if the changes are not fast enough. I see a woman, and no I didn't magically turn into one of my fav peeps, Taylor Swift. It's me, changing to be more of the "me" I know who I am. I have not had family issues in terms of a wife and kids to deal with, since I started this when i was single with no kids. So, I really feel for you for the family concerns. I can be very selfish in my position, and every morning I check my breast size (NBE), and that makes me smile. Even after all this time, I still have excitement, and that's an honest answer. I know I'm on the right path, and I love reinforcing that. And everyday is new opportunity to progress me to who I am.