Sugery Aug 28th

[shellsters]

Well it seems that upping the pain mesds has a helped a bit. I managed to get almost 5 hours sleep, 2 at first then 3 later lol. I'm still more swollen than i would  like. Though I have improved a bit. I think I was running on addrenilen before. I wasn't even this sore after having to walk 3 airports and being on a plane for 12 hours. Even when I returned it was just one aleeve a day.

Things do get more swollen and sore after dilating.  Im not too worried about this though, I realize this should be normal. I do think about what I have just done, sometimes I feel like I'm going to wake up and it was all a dream lol. Peeing is going better, still takes awhile to start , even if I have to go bad. I'm at least get more of a feeling of relief and emptying my bladder. It does feel at times like its coming from where my bits were, but then I look and I quickly realize it's not and my brain corrects itself.

I just wish my pubis mound would go down. I feel less female now then even before. It also appears that way! I had no problems hiding the bits I use to have in anything I wore. Now I have this huge mound. I am wearing some yoga pants today, but not sure I'll go out with them on. Geez, I never had that feeling before! I know things will become better in time though. I haven't dared tried on a pair of jeans yet! Even some skirts it shows.

I would like to ask the other girls who are postop. How long did it take for your pubis mound to go down and not be so hard like?

I think things will only get better from here. Oh I did nearly orgasim! This is the second time it's happened. The first I stopped cause it just felt wrong to do it that early. I stoped this time also but I wasn't really trying in the first place. I was just rubbing my my mound for comfort and then wow!! I kept going a bit and did somewhat orgasim but tried to stop the feeling as soon as I could. It just felt weird having and orgasim the same time as having this hard thing in me lol

[TinaVane]

So glad you r back home recovering sweets


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[shellsters]

Just a quick update.

I was fairly stressed and getting a little depressed wondering if my vulva is anatomaly correct. I'me feeling a little better after emailing PAI, though still not quite sure if things will look proper. Time will only tell.

I'm still dilating, though missed a day cause I wasn't caring much at the time if the damn thing just closed up. I was not in a good place!

Things are back on schedule. Healing is going good, labia's look almost normal. I'm sure they will even get better. It seems that I have 1 good day then 1 bad day. Today and last night was not good. It's like having a bad toothache in your crotch! I'm not sure why I still get nights like this. I'm thinking it may be because I'm partially blocked up. I'm not all the way, I can manage a small bowell movement here and there. This alone is frustrating since I'm very regular. I haven't been since the operation, it will be nice to get back on schedule lol.

My pubis mound has become much softer and less swollen. This is good! I'm now able to wear my leggings and yoga pants yay!!! Though soon I will return to work and I'll have to don my jeans again. I have tried on a few pairs, whew!! They still fit. I thought I was still too swollen or worse yet gained some weight.


My sits baths have become almost a necessity. It helps with dilation as well. I still look in wonder at times at the scar on my mound and realize what use to be there.  It's almost like I never had one of those to begin with. I don't even regret that I never got to use it for almost the last 11 years. I'm really looking forward to using what I should of had for so many years. Right at this moment though, this is the last thing I want. Even though I do have some very nice sensations, inserting something in there for pleasure is the farthest thing from my mind 😳

I still get many sharp pains and other pains that are hard to pinpoint or explain what they are. Like right now I am having a very sharp pain on the inside of my upper thigh of one leg. This is something new, I'm not too worried about it yet. Hopefully won't last long.

Other than this things have been ok. Urination can be a chore at times. Sometimes I have to rub my legs or message my mound a little to coax it out lol. At least I'm past the point of sometimes getting to the point of missing the other method of releasing urine 😳 I do get a bit more satisfaction from urinating now also, but I also don't think I'm emptying my bladder all the way at times.

That's it so far 😀

[Rachel]

Hi,

So it has been about 4 weeks since your operation and you are about to go back to work. That sounds like you had an awesome recovery from the proceedure. Thanks for the continued updates.

[RobinG78]

I just finish reading all the posts. Sounds like a roller coaster ride. I pray that things are better and you are way happier in your life choice.....hugs to you.

[shellsters]

Hi,

So it has been about 4 weeks since your operation and you are about to go back to work. That sounds like you had an awesome recovery from the proceedure. Thanks for the continued updates.

Not by choice, but need the money! Fortunately I can stand most of the day if need be. That's good cause sitting is not the best still!

[shellsters]

I just finish reading all the posts. Sounds like a roller coaster ride. I pray that things are better and you are way happier in your life choice.....hugs to you.

Life really wont change too much, besides the ability to have casual sex. Which I may explore! I did and still do fear that I may get more depressed, since nothing really will change. No one knows what's in between my legs! I am fairly stealth, people that know are the ones that need to know. Right now I just wish I was healed enough to do more things. I had a bad night last night, it may have been because I took my dog for a walk.

It's really strange at times, cause if it wasn't for the pain I would hardly notice a difference in my life. Yes there's the  obvious one, but even that was easy to ignore and forget. I did that fairly well for years. Only in the couple months before surgery did I start to despise it more. I feel the same now though, it's strange! I think one reason may have been because I was very small, my testes migrated up into the pubic cavity, and I was always tucked. At times I will masssge my mound to help alleviate the pain, it feels almost the same as before. The only difference is it's minus 2 little things moving inside lol 

[RobinG78]

You have been through a lot, I wish I was at the point your at. I'm at the beginning of my journey. You are my inspiration, and those who also at the point of going through GRS.... 

[shellsters]

Thank you! I can hardly believe I'm at the end, or more so that I made it to the end! It's  been a long strange trip, lost freinds, some family, but I finaly found out how to love myself.

[Dena]

Thank you! I can hardly believe I'm at the end, or more so that I made it to the end! It's  been a long strange trip, lost freinds, some family, but I finaly found out how to love myself.

That's not how it works. You are at the end of one journey and about to start another, the rest of your life. You are leaving the past in the past and now can move forward without anything holding you back. You may not see it now, but in a few years you will be able to look back and see how much your life has changed.

[shellsters]

Ok, it's been 26 days since surgery. Sometimes I think I'm doing so well in that short of time, other times not so. My nights are the worse still. Last night I went to bed feeling good, probably the best I have yet. I still took my pain meds though. Well 3 hours later up with pain, waited awhile than took more meds, then up again 3 hours later. The meds should last at least 6 hours, 3 is the best I get. I've been doing sitz baths twice a day,  sometimes skip the night one. They have helped tremendously! I've started to do my morning dilation while taking my morning one 😀

Everything is starting to look normal, labias are still quite numb along with the rest of the vulva...to a degree. It's still about the same to dilate, not painful until towards the end of it. I still have many stiches, more of them out. Sensation is still there but not as strong. This brings up another thing. My sex drive has now started to increase but my sensations are not as strong as about a week ago. Then they were quite strong and I could orgasim just by rubbing near my clitoral area, but it felt wrong and I really didn't want to do it. Now I kind of want to but the sensation isnt as strong. I could of I tried more, but still not quite that horny....but close 😳

Peeing is getting better. Still not a constant stream and still have to coax it now and then but all in all not bad. Getting use to it and liking it more and more. I always was use to sitting but this is SO much more different lol

I still have many stitches, most in the libia and and clitoral area but I'm sure there some in the vaginal cavity as well....just haven't looked recently. Ya know, it's not easy to see my anotomy now. I have to use a mirror and if I want to see good, some sort of bright light, I only have my knees to hold the mirror and if I want a closer pic I have to use my phone. I also don't like to see it close up too much! I'm fine from a distance lol

I'm hoping I could cut down on some pain meds. I'm getting a bit constipated, not fully since I do take  something to prevent it from going to far. I'm not on any antibiotics, I don't think I still need to be, it seems like everything is healing fine. I have discharge but nothing of odd color. I have much more discharge at night, I'm not sure why this is. It's probably why I'm in more pain at night.

All in all things are ok. I hope things improve dramatically soon, since I'll be returning to work very soon. They do not know I have had any type surgery so I can't say I'm sore for no reason!

I do have more good moments lately than bad. I really do like what I have! I never did miss my old part but I'm definetly liking my new one! 😁 It's good and so much fun to be a girl 😀😀

[warlockmaker]

It will steadily get better and better. You are just like me, I felt no pain after surgery and was over active causing tears in the stitching 5which with the dilation and its micro tears give us a 24/7 continual ache. It will all go away.....

[shellsters]

Thanks warlock! I'm hoping, cause my nights are still bad. I may get permanent bags under eyes soon!

[AnonyMs]

If you are using tramadol there's a slow release version that lasts 12 hours.

[shellsters]

Just some journaling I did the days before and day of surgery. Though I would share. I forgot to post these awhile ago.

Aug 24
I've been on airplane now for almost 9 hours. I'm am on my way to complete my life. So many memories have been flooding my brain. I feel so alone, but it's not hurting like it has at other times. I think I knew I would be doing this all alone from the very beginning. Everything seems like it's not real. I don't think it will feel real until I'm laying on the table ready for the operation.
I just watched the Danish Girl on Airplane. Probably not the best movie to watch at this time, since she dies at the end. It's so surreal, since this is the same determination I feel as well. I can't go on living the life I have now. I need to be complete and if death becomes part of the plan I am willing to accept that fate.
Just about 3 hours left till Tokyo, then another 6 hours. Then tomorrow I will meet the people who will take care of me for the next 20 days.

Aug 28
I'm now sitting outside the PAI clinic, I was too cold inside. I'm waiting for the dr to basically tell me they can or cannot do the operation.......I need to get cathlab test to see if blockage. If it's positive then no surgery, if negative then it's a go. I pray so hard God please come in negative. I can't go home the same as I am. Please God let this happen, please, please oh God please!!

Aug 30 2:11 AM
The test is negative!!!! September 1, 2016 is the day I finaly become complete!! 😀😀 I have dreamed of this moment since I was 12 years old. I can not imagine how I will feel, though pain will be one of the feelings lol.  I am starting to love myself more and more. This will only help.

Aug 31
It's about 8 hours before one of the biggest steps of my life is about to take place. The way I am feeling about it is differently than what I had thought. But then again I never dreamed that I would be getting the surgery. A part of me is about to be gone for good. It is something I have had and even enjoyed at times for over **years. Yet I'm not going to miss it one bit. I had thought I would want to use it sexually one last time before, hell its been 11 years! But that's not the case either. I am very nervous about the surgery, and am praying for no complications. I see myself waking up to a new world in about 12 hours.

Sept 1
I'm now waiting to be picked up to go to the hospital. Things haven't yet sunk in. I'm feel some anxiety, and trying to relax. It's not nothing more than usual though. I'm composing some messages to my children and will send before I leave motel. I don't want my messages to have a feeling of fear, yet I want them to know I love them more than anything. I need them to realize this in case something were to happen. I'm so ready for what is about to come. I have NO regrets, this was meant to happen. I will be complete and my life will improve 1000% I foresee this!!

Sept 1

I'm now laying in my hospital bed, it's about 3 hours till surgery. I'm feeling really good! I'm not nervous. I've made a short video for reference. Kind of a goodbye to what I have now, but no tears more of a smile if anything. I sent a short message to my children and other family members. I've also  composed a message to a family member to tell them where I am and what room. I've instructed them in what to do if things don't go as planned. I also instructed this person on how to proceed with telling my children if things went wrong. I did inform this person that I foresee nothing but success!  They've already shaved me, not much to do since I made sure all was fairly cleaned before. I'm feeling more anxious than nervous. Not many memories running through my head, I think I had them run through the days previous. I'm really thinking much of disbelief that this is happening. I'm saying a prayer to my God to ensure I do wake up afterwards. Well in about 6 hours my life will be more complete. See me on the other side 😀

S 🙂

[shellsters]

If you are using tramadol there's a slow release version that lasts 12 hours.

Thanks!
Im going to see doctor today to see if there is an infection and to see if I can get something stronger.

[Aria94]

Ok, it's been 26 days since surgery. Sometimes I think I'm doing so well in that short of time, other times not so. My nights are the worse still. Last night I went to bed feeling good, probably the best I have yet. I still took my pain meds though. Well 3 hours later up with pain, waited awhile than took more meds, then up again 3 hours later. The meds should last at least 6 hours, 3 is the best I get. I've been doing sitz baths twice a day,  sometimes skip the night one. They have helped tremendously! I've started to do my morning dilation while taking my morning one 😀

Everything is starting to look normal, labias are still quite numb along with the rest of the vulva...to a degree. It's still about the same to dilate, not painful until towards the end of it. I still have many stiches, more of them out. Sensation is still there but not as strong. This brings up another thing. My sex drive has now started to increase but my sensations are not as strong as about a week ago. Then they were quite strong and I could orgasim just by rubbing near my clitoral area, but it felt wrong and I really didn't want to do it. Now I kind of want to but the sensation isnt as strong. I could of I tried more, but still not quite that horny....but close 😳

Peeing is getting better. Still not a constant stream and still have to coax it now and then but all in all not bad. Getting use to it and liking it more and more. I always was use to sitting but this is SO much more different lol

I still have many stitches, most in the libia and and clitoral area but I'm sure there some in the vaginal cavity as well....just haven't looked recently. Ya know, it's not easy to see my anotomy now. I have to use a mirror and if I want to see good, some sort of bright light, I only have my knees to hold the mirror and if I want a closer pic I have to use my phone. I also don't like to see it close up too much! I'm fine from a distance lol

I'm hoping I could cut down on some pain meds. I'm getting a bit constipated, not fully since I do take  something to prevent it from going to far. I'm not on any antibiotics, I don't think I still need to be, it seems like everything is healing fine. I have discharge but nothing of odd color. I have much more discharge at night, I'm not sure why this is. It's probably why I'm in more pain at night.

All in all things are ok. I hope things improve dramatically soon, since I'll be returning to work very soon. They do not know I have had any type surgery so I can't say I'm sore for no reason!

I do have more good moments lately than bad. I really do like what I have! I never did miss my old part but I'm definetly liking my new one! 😁 It's good and so much fun to be a girl 😀😀

So happy for you   

[deanna7506]

I'm glad your prayers were answered.may you continue to have a speedy recovery.

Deanna