Great News and some worries

[Anne Blake]

Hello Aly,

I threw in my two cents worth a while ago but I thought that I might add another couple of pennies (maybe a nickel's worth) to the mix. For me, for many of the other contributors and I expect for you, beginning hrt is a wonderful step in gaining more of the life that we seek. It is a wild ride and great (at least so far for me). But, as mentioned several times before, it is not a magic bullet, or even the bigger part of achieving our goals. I have no idea of your targeted end point; part time gal to full time, with or without surgery. I don't really know my own goals, they seem to be shifting all of the time. For me, the largest piece of the puzzle in finding peace as Anne is confidence, owning your gender, your identity. Neat concept and almost impossible to do from the start. Little steps have helped me get to where I am comfortable being out and about in almost any situation. Some key contributors for me have been; the support of my wife, faith in my God, a support group (currently a local group as well as places like Susan's Place), and experience (going out and doing things, shopping, makeup lessons at Sephora's, meals with friends). Then there are tools or actions that make it easier; getting my beard under control (hair removal is a long expensive painful tedious process but it allows such freedom and spontaneity along with less makeup), watching those around you to see the differences in motions, gestures, walk, talk between, guys and gals, cis and T. And finally, it is a journey, hopefully a long and joyful one that you can enjoy each step of.

Good luck and enjoy the ride,
Anne

[Alycya]

Here's the secret though.... Most of us do not pass as genetic women 100% of the time and you know what?... It is okay!!!... We are living amazing and fulfilling lives that are finally our own...without regret!!! ...This whole thing is about self acceptance,...being okay with who you are inside and living who you are inside...All you need to pass as, is who you are... a transwoman...knowing that you have a place in the world just like everyone else

Onward we go!

Hi Ashley,

yes, i absolutely agree with you, I know I may won't never pass as a genetic woman 100% of the time - but that it's not the target. You said very well : " .. a transwoman...knowing that you have a place in the world just like everyone else".

Anyway it's really nice to see that even starting over 50 there is still the chance to live a worthy and fulfilling life, ...... and .... well .... you really look beautiful, Ashley congrats .

And Yes again: Onward we go!

Thanks

Anne wrote:
Little steps have helped me get to where I am comfortable being out and about in almost any situation. Some key contributors for me have been; the support of my wife, faith in my God, a support group (currently a local group as well as places like Susan's Place), and experience (going out and doing things, shopping, makeup lessons at Sephora's, meals with friends).

Hi again Anne,

until now (and even now) I did as you: baby steps. I follow my spontaneity without forcing me in any direction. Luckily my SO is unconditionally supporting me, and this it's really important because it's of great help. I'm happy because I feel that things are going to be awesome, i have this feeling inside.
Yes, asap i will undergo some ffs, my nose has to be corrected ... I don't really have a "faith" in "God", but something very similar, I'm trustful towards Life ... and, well, this could be just a "semantic" difference lol.

Thank You again for your inputs, Anne
All the Best!
Hugs
Aly

[HappyMoni]

Dear Alycya,
   It is nice to see how you seem more optimistic or confident as this post has progressed. I thought I would let you know I liked your swirling leaves story. In my younger years, I had dreams of walking through the woods and finding a pond or stream that had the magical power to change me into a girl. It was a happy yet frustrating thought.
Moni

[Alycya]

Dear Alycya,
   It is nice to see how you seem more optimistic or confident as this post has progressed. I thought I would let you know I liked your swirling leaves story. In my younger years, I had dreams of walking through the woods and finding a pond or stream that had the magical power to change me into a girl. It was a happy yet frustrating thought.
Moni

Dearest Moni,

i think that when we were children we were much more free from social conditionings, and what we already were inside us could express itself very much easily.

I remember that before to go to primary school, i used to paint portraits of girls, i remember i had those big sheets of paper and colors, and i painted the face of a girl, with long hair braids - just the face, like there was a mirror in front of me instead of a piece of paper.

My parents were a bit puzzled because i did it very often. I remember their comments, they said that the drawings were nice, but they wondered why i painted the face of a girl so often.

When i started to go to school my drawings changed, i started to draw a "mechanical" male face, like the one of a robot, it was very "spiky", no more rounded, and divided in sections kept together by screws.

I think that the change is very significant because i started to do that kind of drawing just when i had to start to keep a certain social behavior as a "boy".

The face of the girl was graceful and natural, the "male" version was the representation of an artificial "forcing".

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this episode lol, but i think it's quiet significant.

Maybe I'm writing about that because when we were children we perceive the world as a "magical" place full of possibilities ... with no boundaries ...

The frustration comes when we start to believe at what "they" tried to "taught" us about how the so called "reality" has to be perceived: divided in "possible" and "impossible", and divided in so many other ways ...

In that division all dreams (alternate possibilities) crumbles and we start to feel like robots with a program to perform: all poetry has gone.

This is sad, and it's sad because it's a lie. Truth is never sad, truth is always joyful.

We are not born to be robot-like, we are living mysteries, and with the birthright to fully live the mystery we are without boundaries and pre-cooked definitions.

I believe that that magical pound is still there

Hugs,
Aly

[tgirlamg]

When I was young, I always hoped a magic genie would come and grant my wish to be a girl.... The genie never came but, many many years later, I realized I could be my own magic genie...

Onward we go!!!!

[HappyMoni]

Aly,
   For me, I don't allow myself to get to far down the road of mourning the past and what should have been. It makes for too much sadness. I have always looked forward. Now I am learning to live in the present. Going full time has finally allowed a pleasant place to live in the here and now. For those who are not where they want to be, I just want to cheer lead and urge them on.
   Thanks for sharing your story of the paintings. Yeah I say there is some meaning in that.

Tgirl,
   Was your genie Barbara Eden? At any rate, it looks like you did a wonderful job being your own genie.
Hugs to you both.
Moni

[Alycya]

Dear Alycya,
   It is nice to see how you seem more optimistic or confident as this post has progressed.

Yes, I feel very much better now. The contributions of all you to this post have been Precious.

Thanks yall.

Hugs 

Aly

[V]

Yes, I feel very much better now. The contributions of all you to this post have been Precious.

Thanks yall.

Hugs 

Aly

Aly, I wish you well, and to pursue the girl you used to paint, as she is your true self. Sending hugs to you.