I don't know how to approach coming out.

[WennerstromWasp]

Over the last week I got this spark of inspiration that made me think like wow I need to say something about this like now. I need to tell someone about this. That I'm transgender. The problem is with me I am afraid of everything, and already have major social anxiety. My parents I know are not supportive of the trans or even lgbt community at all based off what they have said in the past. Recently I've watched a lot of Ingrid Nilsen YouTube videos and in those videos she has said numerous times before she came out, whenever she got a thought or a feeling of being gay, she ignored or denied the idea. Pushing it down and locking it up. I've been doing that for years and I just don't know how to finally come out to people.

[Devlyn]

It's as easy as saying "I'm transgender."

Once you use those two words, the floodgates are open. 

Welcome to Susan's Place!

Hugs, Devlyn

[Laurie K]

 There is no right or wrong way to come out.  Part of my story is that I could not stand  hiding my true self any longer. I made a decision on who to tell first. I won some, lost some, thats just the way it it is.  Its not a bowl cherries, and seeking a therapist , is the best place to start.

[LizK]

Unfortunately there is no "fool proof" way of doing it. My experience tells me that people will not react in the way you predict. I say this because a number of the people I was "certain" would be really crappy about things and they were not. But as equally surprising were the people I expected to be OK and they were not.

Be careful if an offer to assist you is given by close family or parents. While on the surface that may seem harmless, in the end it was the catalyst for my Parents to "come out" to the extended family...they still don't see anything wrong with them telling each of the family members against my will.So they "came out" to the extended family despite being told I did not want them too...That can of worms is so deep I haven't found a bottom yet.

So be careful and think about whether or not it is important for that person to know that you are Trans.

I did try and suss people out as best I could before telling them to try and gauge what their re-action was. I guess i got it right about 50% of the time.

The other thing to remember is that the persons first reaction is likely to be positive (especially if they are a friend) however given a few days to digest the news and what it actually means to them then the reaction can be quite different.

Good Luck

Liz

[DawnOday]

 I hesitated and discovered my family was more accepting then I thought they would be. As to strangers, I have not crossed that bridge yet. But it's coming. I have to find strength that I didn't possess my first 64 years. First I have to develop some self esteem. You know that's the hard part. How do you expect others to respect you, when you don't respect you. Confidence is your best asset. But doesn't that apply for anything?  There is a wiki on this site with suggestions on how to come out. It's under the Parents. What I would be most comfortable with  Would be to rent a theater. Invite my friends and family. Make a PowerPoint presentation and go for broke. I'll wait a few more months while the hormones do their magic before I go in public. It's also important that I will be able to feminize my voice and develop female nuances, in speech, body language, even to put on body moisturizer for the first time.   

[DawnOday]

So be careful and think about whether or not it is important for that person to know that you are Trans.
I did try and suss people out as best I could before telling them to try and gauge what their re-action was. I guess i got it right about 50% of the time.

If you were a baseball player batting .500 would make you a superstar and a legend. So no matter how we present ourselves there are always going to be people who don't quite get it. They have chosen their life path, whether you chose your path or it chose you. You are still entitled to that choice and respect for making it. Do you have to have the love of everybody? No. But it would be nice.

[Mikka55]

I slowly came out to my friends they supported me.   For those who didnt understand I feed them little info at a time try to bring up the topic.   As for my family they dont know yet.   I am on hormones which will take years to develop.   I will tell them once they start noticing changes.   Do I want to fully transition may be not for a long time.   But for now Im just working on hormones.   Its only the beginning.   But it should be no supprise to my parents.  They caught me crossdressing when I was a teen.  They were not happy.   Untill i know how far i want to go.  I will closet crossdress when im with my friends or when my parents arnt around.

[DawnOday]

I slowly came out to my friends they supported me.   For those who didnt understand I feed them little info at a time try to bring up the topic.   As for my family they dont know yet.   I am on hormones which will take years to develop.   I will tell them once they start noticing changes.   Do I want to fully transition may be not for a long time.   But for now Im just working on hormones.   Its only the beginning.   But it should be no supprise to my parents.  They caught me crossdressing when I was a teen.  They were not happy.   Untill i know how far i want to go.  I will closet crossdress when im with my friends or when my parents arnt around.

What I like best about hormones after my first month is how much more aware of other peoples feelings. I am not as depressed, I haven't sworn (and I did it like a sailor) in three weeks. I have not been mad for no apparent reason. Also for the first time in a while, I walked up to a girl and told her how pretty she was. She didn't tell me to get lost, she merely said. Thank you and smiled. 

[Shadow Wolf]

The only way to do it is just do it. Don't beat around the bush and be upfront and direct, and remember you can only make it more awkward if you do stumble around and try to let people connect the dots.
And sometimes people will surprise you. I was so worried my own parents would be very negative and harsh about it, also based on things they have said in the past, but it turns out they are both supportive of me (my dad even said he doesn't like it but he will be there for me).
Mentally, it was hard to do. I did use a particular event to bring it up though. I developed IBS about a year ago, and I had a colonoscopy a couple of months ago that revealed a couple of pre-cancerous polyps, one that was big enough to be in the "high risk" area. So having come that close to cancer, I let my parents know the results, and that it got me thinking I have to move on with my life and do this. They are still absorbing the information, and my mom keeps asking me if it's some phase, or if I'm just a cross dresser, or if sure because she has never perceived me as being feminine, but it went much better than I could have ever planned on or hoped for, and not only did it get me out of the closet to them, it left me feeling that I could finally bury the past and move beyond my mom having been emotionally abusive and my dad walking out one night, which was a very nice extra that I didn't anticipate.

[rickkie]

I'm kind of the opposite, I am way too trusting and oversharing I tend to blab.

I have come out to some close online friends and my partner and one other friend in real life. I have 3 daughters and I want to come out to them but my partner is reluctant for me to do so.

She is worried about rocking their world. I guess her world has been rocked. She's awesome and supportive, just a bit rocked, like I love you but this isn't what I signed up for.

I have to learn to trust her more as she is better at reading stuff than I am. I'm autistic too so that has an impact on my reading of situations.

I do feel though that younger people like my daughters in their 20's are more accepting and stuff. Not so much of the moral majority narrative pushed through.

I am learning, or trying to, that as much as I wish I could snap my fingers be out, transitioned and all that in one big jump that is not reality and that I need to learn to be patient. Which is hard, it's been 40 plus years to get here.

In terms of your situation I guess I would think carefully about who will truly be accepting safe people. But yeah at the same time those little words of "I'm Transgender" are the key starting words, and yeah I think the floodgates open when you say them.

Hugs and best wishes.