I need a reason to start transitioning

[stephaniec]

I went full time after about 1 year for the most part. I had good changes like breast growth which became quite noticeable especially when I wore my tight jacket. By the time I went totally full time I think people must of said it's about time.

[Dena]

Because male fail isn't a sure thing, I would suggest you work with your image like growing your hair out, electro, voice makeup and wardrobe starting as soon a possible. Once you get those reasonably under control, you should experiment with part time so you become comfortable in public. The reason for this is because all of it takes time and would be difficult to address at the last minute or when you are forced into it. In addition, you dysphoria could force you into transitioning before male fail occurs.

There is an additional benefit as well, you may discover you pass even before male fail occurs. In my case, I could still present a male image even though without considering the hair, I looked pretty much like my avatar.

[Devlyn]

Just a quick update.
My mother and I have just talked about me coming out and she is now supporting and loving like the way she was before I had come out. She did ask if i have thought about the public backlash and I told her that everything will be fine. I should ask though, how will the public treat me? I'm not planning on only going full time as soon as I get my hormones. I am planning on waiting until I can no longer pass as male. So will that help with how the public and my new coworkers view me? Also since I am starting a new job, what kind of obstacles will I face? I guess I should put this in a new thread. But I'm afraid if I don't post this here, that I will forget to post it later lol.

Because male fail isn't a sure thing, I would suggest you work with your image like growing your hair out, electro, voice makeup and wardrobe starting as soon a possible. Once you get those reasonably under control, you should experiment with part time so you become comfortable in public. The reason for this is because all of it takes time and would be difficult to address at the last minute or when you are forced into it. In addition, you dysphoria could force you into transitioning before male fail occurs.

There is an additional benefit as well, you may discover you pass even before male fail occurs. In my case, I could still present a male image even though without considering the hair, I looked pretty much like my avatar.

As Dena points out, you don't get to predict "pass or fail", the person viewing you makes their own decision of what they see. Please don't make someone else's perception of you a milestone, you're setting yourself up for failure. This is about you, not the rest of the world. Do what makes YOU happy, do what YOU need to do, and the world will follow your lead. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[supergirl23]

Because male fail isn't a sure thing, I would suggest you work with your image like growing your hair out, electro, voice makeup and wardrobe starting as soon a possible. Once you get those reasonably under control, you should experiment with part time so you become comfortable in public. The reason for this is because all of it takes time and would be difficult to address at the last minute or when you are forced into it. In addition, you dysphoria could force you into transitioning before male fail occurs.

There is an additional benefit as well, you may discover you pass even before male fail occurs. In my case, I could still present a male image even though without considering the hair, I looked pretty much like my avatar.

I don't mean to be naive, but what is male fail and why is it not a sure thing? I have never seen that in any post that I have read before.

Also, I am going to start laser soon,just as soon as I get my first paycheck from my new job. I have been getting a new wardrobe together. I have started working on my voice and think I found the right pitch. I just need to find the right resonance. My makeup is coming together nicely, I just need to learn how to use less of it.

[Dena]

Mail fail is when you are gendered female instead of male. Some of our members are so affected by estrogen that they can no longer pass as male. Many of us need a little help to reach that point. As for the reason why it's not a sure thing is many of us have bone structure or years of testosterone poisoning that estrogen is unable to fully reverse. Estrogen isn't as powerful as testosterone so it tends to be a bit more difficult for MTFs to pass after starting hormones.

[supergirl23]

So if I start HRT at 21, is that early enough to reverse the effects of testosterone? 


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[Dena]

Not completely but maybe enough. It depends on genetics and your response to HRT. Nothing is a sure thing in the transition.

Consider the fact you will still need to get your beard removed, your voice will remain the same and other features have already developed. They can't be undone but some of these changes may not be enough to effect the final results.

[Micki]

To put things in perspective, I was born like this, literally, including infant genital surgery and all, and my mom and dad and many past childhood mates and peers and such who know, don't 'accept' me like this, which is pretty much incomprehensible, considering I biologically and physiologically had absolutely no say in it. So therefore, yes, indeed, for you to transition, you must be entirely prepared to disregard any and all naysayers, no questions asked, so to speak. Seriously, the same advice I'd give to anyone really, is to just be yourself. If you do that, and someone doesn't approve of 'you', then you must continue forth. If you're in need of something from them, in other words, support with finances or a place to reside, etcetera; then that is an entirely different issue and a topic for another thread which has nothing to do with you being either intersex or transsexual.

[SadieBlake]

Great news! I'm glad she has adjusted and I'm not surprised - it takes most people some time.

How it will be for you in public could depend as much on where you live as how you present. Speaking for places I know, Boston is different from Cambridge which is far different from San Francisco.

There are some great guides for improving your passability and it takes work. The devil really is in the details.

[Ashley3]

... My mother and I have just talked about me coming out and she is now supporting and loving like the way she was before I had come out. ...

Congratulations! That's wonderful... sounds like you have a wonderful mother. She obviously really loves you.

[rtg]

Sorry your family reacted that way.  I definitely wanted some guarantee that this was right for me before I started, but it's not that easy unless you are just really sure of yourself.  I gradually felt comfortable that I was making the right decision over time.  That I was happy instead of terrified when breast development started to show was a good sign.