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Accepting the fact that I may not be as attractive as I hope.

Started by supergirl23, August 30, 2016, 11:20:14 AM

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supergirl23

I have come to the realization that I may not be as attractive as some of the rest of you girls after I start my transition. I don't know if this is my dysphoria or not but I am not attractive as a male, but even if I'm not attractive as a female either, I will be completely fine with that. I just want to start living my life as my true self. If i don't pass, that is fine with me. Being attractive isn't really a big deal to me anymore. Would I love to be as attractive as you girls are. Yes. But I just don't want to live a lie anymore. And the only way for me to to that is to start living as a woman. Even living as an unattractive woman for the rest of my life would be better than spending another day living as an unattractive man. 
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Wednesday

You got it. No matter how, but being your true self is first and basic key to live happily.

Anyway, nowadays medical science works miracles with physical appearance.
"Witches were a bit like cats" - Terry Pratchett
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stephaniec

The reality of nature is that very few of the world population are Clark Gable's  or Greta Garbo's.
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Wednesday

Quote from: stephaniec on August 30, 2016, 11:33:06 AM
The reality of nature is that very few of the world population are Clark Gable's  or Greta Garbo's.

Damn bell curves  ;D
"Witches were a bit like cats" - Terry Pratchett
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barbie

Most attractive women and men are also confident, or confident people can look more attractive.

barbie~~
Just do it.
  • skype:barbie?call
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Michelle_P

Before starting HRT, my therapist wanted me to describe what I thought I'd be at the end of the process.  I think she wanted to check for unrealistic expectations, which she later mentioned that many folks starting HRT did have.

I said I expected to be a weird old lady.

She was happy with that answer, or at least quite amused.  I believe in setting achievable goals. ;)
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Rachel_Christina

I have never set myself high standards either, I just hope that I should stay the same pretty laid back person working  on my old cars on my afternoons and weekends.
The one thing I don't want is to be something I'm not.
Looks wise I don't worry too much, Its all personal preferernce anyway.
How and ever you never know what the magic of HRT may do for you, but its best believing it will do nothing for you, being happy with that, and then being Suprised some day when you realise something has definitly changed.
I didn't really believe all the hype round HRT, I have had a few suprises already.
Being Humble is the best approach to this Journey and its results, I think.


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Heather14

Oh I plan to look like a stunning movie star after my transition...not. But I do think I will look happy and that is attractive enough for me.
Hugs,
Heather
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jentay1367

I remember telling my therapist that I would rather be a homely woman than an average looking white male with all the privileged passes that entails. That may just end up being my fate. But it's one I'm looking forward to. At least I'll be me and be happy. Up until I started transition,  I hadn't looked forward to anything for a very long time. Every day I wake up now and see my homely self in the mirror being just a little more female, I rejoice.  That's priceless.       Lisa
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Aethersong

It's to much stress spending time comparing one's self to whats perceived as "attractive".  I've found it's more helpful to notice all the people that don't fit that very narrow mould and focus being content and comfortable with one's own self.  Admittedly that can be difficult but I've found it's an easier path to traverse on a day to day basis.

Also as stated above, confidence is generally considered pretty attractive to most folks =)
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Jacqueline

At 51 and starting HRT a little over 6 months ago, I am obviously a stunning lady of stage and screen  8). You can tell by my avatar. I am so sorry for the rest of you homely little girls ;)   (Legal disclaimer- that was a joke, kid)

I am told by any who notice that I seem so much happier. I am and I am not even presenting most of the time much less out at work (or anywhere else but my wife, a daughter and a few friends).

I love your outlook Supergirl. Except for me it is no longer an unhappy, old man.

With warmth,

Joanna
1st Therapy: February 2015
First Endo visit & HRT StartJanuary 29, 2016
Jacqueline from Joanna July 18, 2017
Full Time June 1, 2018





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abd789

I dont know how you are viewing yourself.... I mean, mirror, glass refelction, or worse yet... pics or selfies

I have a struggle with pics, I see what I like in mirrors, but have trouble capturing it on camera. Also keep in mind that when you say "attractive as you" ..... you are seeing the highlight reel of their (our) pictures.... Ill tell you it takes 20 pics that I think are horrid, for me to find one that I like enough to post.... and thats sad... but I think true for alot of people????
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Wanda Jane

That's what finally made me ready too. I'm 54. I don't hold any notion of being a supermodel. At least not on my budget. I also realized that I'd rather look like an old sailor in a dress than live like this anymore. On that note, I've already started to see a different "me" in the mirror. I agree with Aethersong, being comfortable with me makes me present differently. I go to a support group and the girls there that seem comfortable with themselves have more what I want than the better transitioned ones.
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Harley Quinn

Confidence and an uplifting personality are the most attractive feature anyone can have...  You'll seriously attract more people with a sparkling personality than you will with physical beauty.  We are all our own worst critics and hypersensitive to our self percieved flaws and faults.  Most people won't notice...  With the right clothes and proper makeup application, you can do wonders.  I look like two totally different people before and after.  I have scars over half my body and face from severe motorcycle accidents and 13 years in the military.  Most people don't notice...  They're not looking for your faults if you have a genuine smile.
At what point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! >:-)
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Nahia

My issue is with my large chest cavity... no hiding that. 6'2 and wear a large mens T I am average to slim in weight.
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Harley Quinn

Quote from: Nahia on September 15, 2016, 10:04:06 PM
My issue is with my large chest cavity... no hiding that. 6'2 and wear a large mens T I am average to slim in weight.

I have a fairly large ribcage as well...  I wouldn't worry about it.  The trick is dressing for your body type.  The right clothes will help minimize our self precieved flaws.  Its actually a blessing...  once you start getting some weight shifting to your hips, instant hourglass figure!  But you'll notice your chest as you know it disappear after a few months.  You'd be surprised just how much of the torso bulk is muscle.

And so you're saying that you're Model Height?  Ok...  Own that!!  "LEGS FOR DAYS!!"
At what point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! >:-)
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Dena

Quote from: Nahia on September 15, 2016, 10:04:06 PM
My issue is with my large chest cavity... no hiding that. 6'2 and wear a large mens T I am average to slim in weight.
Large chest cavity - check here too
6'2" - check here too
Large mens T - not the case as my shoulder and chest require and extra large
Slim in weight. - many year ago I started at 145 pounds. I am currently 170 but working on returning to 160 pounds.

In addition, my body wasn't highly responsive to HRT but it didn't prevent me from passing and I never received a rude comment about anything. The real goal is to become yourself and not fit any particular role model.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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