Did i create this?

[Tristan]

Seriously, that's what i often find on my mind did i create this did i some how create this idea of being transgender was i really just a curious kid who happened to dig to deeply into gender and then suddenly just got confused?
I keep going back to that thought because originally i was looking into non binary and i started looking into that at 19 because i didn't like being called a woman and was confused. But i used to go onto a cis gendered website and sometimes it made it worse people the cis people would often just tell me i just didn't feel like a woman yet, and to give it time because i was still young. It's kind of stuck with me that thought of creating this even though i have childhood memory's of taking a bath and being uncomfortable with my genitals and not understanding why.
or doing gymnastics and being put into that female suit and feeling like i was being violated having to wear the suit and i was only seven or eight.  I remember all of it but here i am thinking "Maybe i created it because i disliked being forced into things as a kid?" it's stupid but 🙁 idk. 

My emotions are weird tonight i swear iv'e went form happy to sad about 3 times.
And content to confused several times, i wish i'd get a grip.

[darth_lauren]

I feel that way sometimes. I used to worry about it a lot. That somehow I created in my mind the thought that I might be transgender just by overthinking and reading too far into things. So far, that kind of thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere. Lately, I've been trying to see things the other way around: that the memories I now associate with my gender dysphoria are due to the fact that I am transgender, rather than simply being moments that stood out for no particular reason and that I strung together later on.

Besides, there are plenty of cis people who are open-minded and overanalytic, and I doubt any of them manage to convince themselves that they're trans.

[Kylo]

No, you probably didn't invent it if you felt these feelings at an age too young to even be fully aware of gender and its implications but were bothered by gendered clothing and body parts.

There's no body parts of mine that I hate more than my secondary sexual characteristics, and why? There's no personal conscious reason at all that I should have such a problem with them. The problem is there regardless of how I feel about them, whether I try to talk myself out of caring, or not. The best indicator that something is truly up is if you still have that same level of discomfort years later, and if you had them long before you'd ever heard of phrases like "misogyny" and "transphobia" and "sexism". If they were there before those things could consciously color your judgement, then they are unconscious/persistent phenomena and probably a trans condition.

[Michelle_P]

I've been accused of overthinking this and talking myself into being a transgender person.  Recently, and I'm 62!  A clinical psychologist, gender specialist, and an endocrinologist believe otherwise and have helped me accept my true nature.

It is something of a relief when we stop doubting ourselves and find a way to move forward with our lives,

[JulieL]

I feel pretty much the same way. I'm 34, and have never felt deep dysphoria about being male, but I have always bristled at being called a man. It just feels wrong. I also keep going back and forth with myself to see if this is something real, or something I'm inventing because I'm just dissatisfied with my current life for a thousand other reasons. Or whether I just hate my body for other reason (e.g., it's fat and broken).

In the end, no one else can definitely tell us if we're trans or not. There's no blood test or anything.

Good luck finding your way.

[FTMax]

I only found out that being transgender was a thing after a friend came out and started transitioning when I was a teenager. And the way he explained it just fit everything I'd ever felt and known about myself, but I was still terrified that I was just latching onto this idea because it had been put it front of me and seemed to fit. It definitely contributed to me waiting to transition.

It is easy for me to look back and highlight moments in my childhood that just screamed that I was trans, but there has really been nothing more confirming to me than moving forward with transition and feeling all the heaviness and anxiety go away with each step I take.

I think what you're feeling is pretty common. We spend so much time convincing other people in our lives that we're trans, I think it's natural to second guess and get introspective about it sometimes.