So I am trying to work through a bunch of personal ineptness, and I don't know what all dysphoria actually affects. I can hardly tell what it's like because I can't really remember not feeling 'off', to the point that I don't even know what 'on' feels like, but I can't quite tell what all I am probably messing up on. I'm feeling like I can't go for opportunities at work, because it involves doing things that I have in past bungled from depression and I don't know what else; I should with any luck actually be able to get HRT soon and I am hoping... hoping... that it gets my brain to quit running away from me like a dimension-hopping mouse in a cluttered room. Poof, gone, off in lala land while I am sitting helplessly trying to find it so I can get things done outside of the meat-mecha. But I don't actually know what dysphoria usually does to mess with people, and I feel like I don't know what I SHOULD be able to do.