I identify as asexual, though I still enjoy porn. For me watching porn allows me to mentally inset myself into the female role on screen. I don't find I'm attracted to the woman per say, but find it gets me in the mood for masturbation (which always causes dysphoria). I too enjoy the edge play, but the actual ejaculation (not orgasm) feels like a chore that I hate and needs to be done to clear the pipes so to speak. A nasty side effect of not being able to separate the orgasm from ejaculation.
I have found that with HRT, that mental arousal that porn provided was much easier to achieve through mental energy. It's as if things are just "right" and the porn ended up being a stopgap until my brain was able to achieve arousal naturally with the correct hormones running through my body and brain.
I also found that the edging I used to seek is fulfilled by a longer more typical female full body orgasm where the climb towards the peak of orgasm and the fall after was much longer, slower and more encompassing of my full body and brain. (Rather than the arousal being isolated directly in the crotch). These types of orgasms have replaced the need for edging that was previously there.
Hope this helps, but yeah. I definitely think it has to do with gender identity.
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