Ok, just a laugh, can't we all use that?

[Kelsey]

So, although I have been strutting in heels and associated accoutrement for a while, I must admit I am just now really getting interested in makeup. So, I find my merry way to the local purveyor of cosmetics, select a few that I think will fit the bill for my new aspirations, and head to the mirror.

HOLY WOW.

So, um, squint that one eye while taking this pencil and drawing on the other one. Don't poke your eye out. That is the obvious part. But, also, be really artistic and precise. I mean, come on, can't you do that? Just watch this video. See how easy that is?

Lol.

What a mess I am.  My smoky eyes turned into a forest fire at some point, and then died down into a pile of ash.  (Blend! For goodness sake blend!! Wait... don't blend that much. Is there and "unblend" brush? (Rummages in non existing kit for nonexistent tool...))

I probably should have done this when I was young and pliable.

Which brings me to my primary question....

Does anyone have a truckload of concealer I can borrow? I'll need the big nozzle.

:-)

Muah!

-Kelsey

[Beth Andrea]

ROFLMAO!!!

Umm...err... I mean... I don't know what you're talking about! 

For some reason, I always think my eyelashes are non-existent because I can't see them...until I put on mascara, and then I still can't see them BUT I CAN SEE THOSE DAMNABLE BLACK DOTS LEFT BY THE WET MASCARA!!!   

Yes, I've tried to see my lashes while wearing my "cheater" glasses, but then I can't put on the mascara...

[LizK]

Wait... don't blend that much. Is there and "unblend" brush?......

It is right next to the "any key" as in "hit any key to restart" 

Liz

[KathyLauren]

LOL!    I am going to have to start doing makeup soon.  I have been putting it off for exactly the reasons you describe.  What a pity you can't do it with Photoshop.  I'm pretty good with that.

[sarah1972]

Even more important - buy a barrel full of makeup remover...

A friend of mine recommended MAC cosmetics - they do offer makeup lessons and you get store credit for the cost of the lessons. Even though my wife tries to teach me some of the secrets, I will still take advantage of the lessons once my schedule frees up a bit. MAC corporate is very supportive of the LGBT community so I hope that this reflects in their stores.

[Michelle_P]

Concealer?  Yeah, I'll need the gallon bucket.  And a belt sander to get off the moisture-proof eyeliner...

I got lessons in a store recently. That put me onto the right products. I also bought brushes.  Big ones, little ones, pointy ones, tiny little beveled and rectangular ones... Special angled ones just for eyeliner...  Mascara ones... These work so much better than what's in the bottle!

Just don't slip! 

[RobynD]

Yeah, i am amazed at how good people like my wife are at putting this stuff on. I suck at eyeliner, i don't try for anything too complex. This last week i started going with brown on top and white in the corners and bottom. Pencils, because those creams and markers take me forever to get right.

..I need to leave the house before noon

[Kelsey]

Wait.... now there is an idea, Beth Andrea. Maybe I should just put the makeup on the outside of the cheater glasses and just put those on. I would just have to make sure to look at everyone straight on, or else my eye shadow would be in the wrong place.

Ah! Thanks Liz. I knew it had to be somewhere. :-)  (By the way, sorry for my typo. Regardless of where it is, I am sure it is "a brush", not "and brush". In my defense, I had mascara in my eyes.)

KathyLauren, all kidding aside, it was a good thing, fun and beautiful to watch the effects, and I am sure it will get easier. I do need to learn more about makeup remover, which I think is a bit trial and error. I purchased a (kinda) researched product that came with good reviews, and it was effective at its job, but was a bit fatiguing to my admittedly sensitive skin (which isn't used to all this drama).

But none of that matters, because I think I am just going to get it right once and then just lacquer over it. Then I can borrow Michelle's belt sander when I want to change it for special occasions.

lol, Robyn, I can just see someone asking me why I never go out. "It has nothing to do with unwillingness or anxiousness, I just didn't get my eyeliner right until 3am..." For me, the funny part is the videos... they just kind of gloss over these ridiculously difficult things. It's like watching a video on gymnastics, where they just say... "OK, first do a double flip, and then...." (Um, can we go back to that first step?)

In any case, thanks for sharing the laughs! If we can't find ourselves amusing....

Muah!

-Kelsey

P.S. Good tip, Sarah! I'll look into that. Have certainly seen the name before, time to learn a bit more!

[Thea]

Yes, I've tried to see my lashes while wearing my "cheater" glasses, but then I can't put on the mascara...

I had the same problem until I found some makeup glasses on Amazon. They have lenses that flip out of the way so you can do one eye while seeing what you're doing with the other. It's still not easy but at least there is hope. Now it's just a matter of practice, practice, practice ...

[Megan.]

I had a lesson with Mac at Covent garden in the UK, they were fantastic, and I learned loads.

[LizK]

Wait.... now there is an idea, Beth Andrea. Maybe I should just put the makeup on the outside of the cheater glasses and just put those on. I would just have to make sure to look at everyone straight on, or else my eye shadow would be in the wrong place.

Ah! Thanks Liz. I knew it had to be somewhere. :-)  (By the way, sorry for my typo. Regardless of where it is, I am sure it is "a brush", not "and brush". In my defense, I had mascara in my eyes.)

KathyLauren, all kidding aside, it was a good thing, fun and beautiful to watch the effects, and I am sure it will get easier. I do need to learn more about makeup remover, which I think is a bit trial and error. I purchased a (kinda) researched product that came with good reviews, and it was effective at its job, but was a bit fatiguing to my admittedly sensitive skin (which isn't used to all this drama).

But none of that matters, because I think I am just going to get it right once and then just lacquer over it. Then I can borrow Michelle's belt sander when I want to change it for special occasions.

lol, Robyn, I can just see someone asking me why I never go out. "It has nothing to do with unwillingness or anxiousness, I just didn't get my eyeliner right until 3am..." For me, the funny part is the videos... they just kind of gloss over these ridiculously difficult things. It's like watching a video on gymnastics, where they just say... "OK, first do a double flip, and then...." (Um, can we go back to that first step?)

In any case, thanks for sharing the laughs! If we can't find ourselves amusing....

Muah!

-Kelsey

P.S. Good tip, Sarah! I'll look into that. Have certainly seen the name before, time to learn a bit more!

I have to say I am really disappointed that no one has taken Homer Simpson's make-up shotgun and made it a reality...I don't know about you but just maybe the problem might be, getting a whole heap of make up shot in your face tends to put people off repeating the experience....Maybe I just need to stand a bit closer to them?? For those that did see this episode of the simpsons you know what I mean, for those that didn't, the concept is very simple

Take one shotgun
Load with desired makeup choices
Point and shoot...now what could be simpler?

Liz

[DawnOday]

LOL!    I am going to have to start doing makeup soon.  I have been putting it off for exactly the reasons you describe.  What a pity you can't do it with Photoshop.  I'm pretty good with that.

Photoshop makeup onto your pictures. I do it all the time. I use it to see how I would look if I did something differently. I use it as a learning tool. Actually I use Portrait Pro but you can use Photoshop.