In childhood I never had the luxury of thinking of myself as a girl. When I said I wanted to be a girl, I was told in no uncertain terms that I was a boy. That was in 1970 or so, when transitioning was not possible/pretty much didn't exist.
By the time I discovered that gender transition was possible (at age 19) I had long since discovered the pleasures of the male orgasm, and used it as an escape and coping mechanism as much and as often as possible.
Even so, after I turned 40 I looked forward to diminishing testosterone levels, and less desire and distraction. But what happened was the need to transition increased exponentially.
I was always afraid I would miss that part of being male, but now, four months into hormones, I don't miss it much. But yeah, the days of spontaneous arousal are pretty much over.
