What is this called (gender identity)?

[Ashen]

Hi there.

I'm 24. This is probably going to sound really weird, but here goes anyway... I was born female, but I've always struggled with feeling like my body should physically look half male and half female. It's caused me a heck of a lot of confusion and stress, especially when I was growing up. I feel like the LEFT side of my body should be male. Like, there's no doubt in my mind that the left side shouldn't be male, and it freaks me out that it's not, and I've even self-harmed over it. It just depresses me that I feel I'm missing male parts on the left side of my body. As for the right side of my body, I feel that should be female (it is)... I've never been called by male pronouns, but I think I'd love it, and would maybe even prefer it.

Does anyone know what this is called? Thanks in advance!

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I have never heard of anybody who had feelings like that but it sounds non binary. It could be something similar to gender fluid or bi gender where the gender shifts over time. In your case it appears that both gender exist at the same time though possibly more male than female.  I suggest that you consider seeing a gender therapist who might be better at figuring this out. I know what you are looking for most likely isn't there but you may want to look at our WIKI as the non binary is described in more detail.

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[Devlyn]

Hi Ashen, welcome to Susan's Place! That's a new one on me.

It's also a reminder of the reason we say:

"You learn something new every day."

I googled this up: http://www.rightleftrightwrong.com/issues_sex.html

Hope it helps! See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[AnxietyDisord3r]

The brain is divided into two hemispheres which are joined by a structure called the corpus callosum. Each hemisphere is hooked into one side of your body's nervous system, which is responsible for touch sensations (pressure, hot, cold, pain) and controlling muscle movements.

I've never heard of a case like yours but it seems like with the division in the brain it could certainly be possible that the nervous system on one side is wired differently from the nervous system on the other and it is causing you this distress.

Feeling that you have characteristics of both genders or you're between genders or neither gender is generally called non binary but there are subcategories like being neutrois or an androgyne or genderqueer. These labels mean different things to different people. It's not uncommon for non binary people to pursue HRT and sometimes surgeries as well. Sometimes non binary people will go on lower doses of hormones in order to ease their dysphoria. Sometimes non binary people will go on hormones to effect a partial transition and then go off of them. There are a lot of potential options.

[Just Me Here]

What about your eyes? If you could have ONE and only ONE "male" eye, which side would it be on, left or right?? Sorry if this seems an odd question.

[Ashen]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it!

Yeah...I've searched and searched the internet for anyone who feels the same as me, but I've yet to find anyone. Seems I'm an odd case, I guess.

@Just Me Here- No worries. I'd definitely choose the left side, as that is the side I feel should look male.

[VeronicaLynn]

I actually feel like the left side of my body is male too!

There was a study by Dr. Ramachandran, a professor at University of California, San Diego, a few years ago that basically called this Alternating Gender Incongruity and basically suggested that whatever process happens to cause one to be transgender can sometimes only happen to one hemisphere of the brain. This study was largely not accepted, though I don't think it's underlying theory has really been dis-proven.

I tend to believe that's what happened with me. My left side is my guy side, my right side is my girl side, I am DMAB...I just live my life as Gender-Fluid, and why not?