What would this be called?

[GlassUnicorn]

I've heard my identity has been referred to as "cisgender transexual", meaning that my gender is indeed female as was assigned at birth, but my body isn't right (closest I've heard so far...very, very close) or "FTM-MTF" before, but I'm not really certain that's exactly it. Personally, I have referred to myself as "FTM Drag Queen", but I'm not certain that's quite it either.

As I posted in my introduction:

I sort of identify as female socially...sort of. Yet my physical body feels very wrong. I feel like I should be male physically, male genitalia and all, but I also don't like "he" pronouns. I prefer "she". I guess I sort of feel like a guy, but also I want to dress and present as female. The very best description I can give, with what little I know, is that I would be happiest as a drag queen in the spotlight, but outside of the spotlight, I don't need to be glamorous, but I do still need to dress feminine, and considered feminine. There have been times I've considered transition, but I have no idea how to tell a gender therapist or a doctor all this stuff without worrying that I'll be laughed at or not taken seriously. I'm also TERRIFIED that I'll be discriminated against. If I end up clearly being a male who is clearly dressed as a female, what happens then? I'm not as strong as some people, and WAY too sensitive for my own good. So many TG people are discriminated against, still, and I may not handle it as well as some people do. I've tried to weigh the possibilities... To transition? Not to transition? I know I need to do what makes me happy, and what would make me happy is being physically a guy who presents as female and uses female pronouns. I just don't know if there's a term for that at all.

So this thread is to basically ask for ideas about what all this means. I know gender is a spectrum, but I'm still a little baffled at my case. Would people agree that, based on what I've said, my gender is female, but my body is wrong for me?

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Well, I say if you're suffering from dysphoria, you're trans. As for a specific label, I've never come across someone who feels their body should be one gender but socially needs to be the other, but around here it would probably get labeled "non-binary". In a way that label is a good thing because it lets you decide for yourself what you want and need and what kind of treatment if any to pursue.

[Amanda_Combs]

I actually feel a little similar to that.  I agree that non-binary covers it.  What I feel is this, my gender is dependant on my relationship to the person.  To myself, I'm female and always have been.  To my parents and wife, I'm still their son and husband.  To strangers, I don't care.  And to all other friends, I'm female.  I know that's a little specific, but that is honestly my feeling.  It just shows that we are all unique individuals, even in the trans* community.  Just know and love yourself, it's the best thing you can do!  [emoji1][emoji170]


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[Sno]

And how do you get on socially with men-folk?

The cisgender part doesn't ring quite true - as you've identified you've feelings that your body is wrong for you, and heck there a no harm in dressing up (well, unless you're me, and it makes you horribly dysphoric).

Have you looked at the demi-labels yet.? In that framework, what you are describing could be described as male-orientated demi-woman - it's definitely on the non-binary side of life, but its flexibility could help describing your identity..

Sno.

[GlassUnicorn]

And how do you get on socially with men-folk?

The cisgender part doesn't ring quite true - as you've identified you've feelings that your body is wrong for you, and heck there a no harm in dressing up (well, unless you're me, and it makes you horribly dysphoric).

Have you looked at the demi-labels yet.? In that framework, what you are describing could be described as male-orientated demi-woman - it's definitely on the non-binary side of life, but its flexibility could help describing your identity..

Sno.

Actually, most of my friends are males, both FTM and Cisgendered.

I've heard of demi labels, but haven't looked into them yet. I'll look into them.

EDIT: I looked into the label of "demigirl", and that seems fitting, but saying I'm "male oriented" could be easily confused with saying that I'm "attracted to males" by many people, I think. This wouldn't be true, since I'm actually asexual, and possibly even aromantic. Perhaps FTM Demigirl would be the term? :/

[Josie_P]

human

[Sno]

Hi GlassUnicorn,

I'm learning as I go too, a more correct description is trans masculine, I've since discovered


Sno.

[GlassUnicorn]

Hi GlassUnicorn,

I'm learning as I go too, a more correct description is trans masculine, I've since discovered


Sno.

So, transmasculine demigirl?