Euphoria and sorrow.

[Elora]

Hello everyone!

I wanted to take this opportunity to introduce myself.  My name is Elora and I'm thrilled to be here!  I was assigned male at birth and for the last three decades or so, I've been running from the fact that I am, and have always been, female.  I went so far as to enlist in the Marine Corps in order to prove my masculinity, but the elephant in the room (that freeloader!) just never went away.  I finally accepted the truth of who I am recently and felt elation and relief that I can barely articulate (though I'm sure I don't need to).

I recently came out to my longtime girlfriend (10+ years) and she was far less elated.  In fact, she was so unimpressed that she ended our relationship on the spot and informed me I needed to find a new place to live.  So, now instead of the Pacific NW, I'm in rural Maine and my daughter (I was the stay-at-home parent for the first three years of her life) is three thousand miles away.  Wow.  Still trying to process that one.  What saved me from just losing it after that, is the fact that the rest of my family has been incredibly supportive.

Despite the emotional roller-coaster and real world setbacks, I'm happier and more comfortable with myself than I've ever been.  I plan on starting HRT in the very near future and my long term goal is, well, 'the works' (SRS, FFS etc...). 

Anyhow, it's wonderful to meet you all!  I'm so grateful for the chance to chat with people who understand the things I'm going though on a personal level. 

Cheers!
Elora

[Kevinwg]

Hello Elora nice to meet you. I'm Kevin for the time being.

[HappyMoni]

Hi Elora,
It is a pleasure to meet you. This was a very open and honest introduction. I am sorry to hear of the situation with your daughter. Maybe it can improve in the future. Glad to hear of the family support. It is so important. Congratulations on finding the real you. I think sometimes not having this figured out is the hardest thing of all. There are a lot of wonderful people on this site so I hope you find it comfortable to talk and share. See you around the boards! My name is Moni!

[V M]

Hi Elora 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

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Hugs

V M

[Elora]

Thanks for the replies!  I'm glad to be here.

Elora

[Eva Marie]

Hi Elora, and welcome!

Your story is a familiar one that most of us can relate to. Transitioning is not an easy path to take, and you will very quickly find out who is with you on the journey and who is not. Regrettably, losing significant others when we come out is very common, and i'm sorry that you experienced this. You'll eventually come to the realization that toxic, negative people have no place in your new life and they must be removed from it if they can't get on board.

Focus on moving forward, taking it day by day, and enjoy growing into the authentic you. You will find that as you shed the old self people will be attracted to who the new you is, and you'll very likely wind up with more friends than you had before - being authentic has that effect!

[Anne Blake]

Welcome Elora,

Wow, you share a tough story! My heart truly goes out to you. And, as you have already been told, yours is not an uncommon story on this site.

You may have already noticed, you have come to the right place. There are many here at Susan's Place that are traveling along a similar path and that have hearts to share, teach, affirm and celebrate with. I am fairly new to this life as Anne and have recently begun hrt. I want to tell you that, while there are hard times, like you have recently experienced, there are also amazingly neat times ahead for you.

The changes that I have been feeling are well beyond any of my expectations, the emotions have been enough to blow me out of the water. And I would not give them up for anything! I only mention this to suggest that you develop a good support group to lean on as you grow into the new you.

Best of luck as you travel along your new path.

Anne

[kaitylynn]

Welcome aboard, Elora!  This is a great place to share thoughts and learn, as well as meet brothers and sisters that 'get it'.  Great support here!

I relate to so much of your story, different branch of service...but spent the early part of my life trying to man out of this.  Did not work...started transitioning and have been happiest I can remember.  Glad you feel that happy and look forward to hearing about your journey!

>^..^<

[Elora]

Thank you for the kind replies!  It's heartening to know that I'm not alone after all and that there are people out there who understand these things on a personal level.  Obviously, to some extent, the rational side of me knew that, but being rational doesn't really obtain when you're lying awake at three in the morning pondering how your entire former life ceased to exist in the space of a week.

With gratitude,
Elora

[ShaunaCarlson]

Elora,

It's amazing for me as I'm recently out myself that a lot of us who have gone through the similar path attempted to compensate for our masculinity by joining the military. I went through the Navy but it was a short time of 6 months. I kind of charmed my way out of it with a honorable medical discharge.

I'm Shauna and pleased to "meet" you!