Hello ! New and Confused...

[Sven]

Hi!

I hope I post in the right section. I'm Sven, 21, "technically" a female. I am currently a bit lost with myself so I figured it could be nice talking to some people here.

I know something is wrong with me since I am a child but.... I don't know what. I never really liked to be feminine. But well, you know... As everyone really wanted to see me as a beautiful young woman, I eventually accepted my fate. This was what I had to be. A female.

But nowadays I feel like I'm living a lie. I'm really questionning my gender and I feel like I'm crazy. Am I really a boy in fact? Or is it just a phase? I, myself, don't really know. I never talked to anyone about this. My family and friends think I'm a happy young woman. But online I always pretend to be a boy. And inside I'm struggling everyday.

As I was lost with all these questions, some weeks ago, I decided to cut my hair short and tried to dress more masculine. And today, do you know what happened? I was wearing jeans, sneakers and a big jacket which really helped to hide my boobs. I was walking on the street and a man called me "young man". First time ever. I was so happy.

I really don't know "what" I am. Female or male. But I often feel like I would be happier as a man. Thing is I'm afraid. What would people think if I told them I'm trans? Would my family still love me if I wasn't the sweet daughter anymore? Would they understand? Am I too old to transition? And so many other questions.

Anyway, I hope I can talk to people and maybe find answers here. Glad to meet you!

(also, i'm really sorry if my post doesn't really make sense, i'm really confused and english isn't my first language so it's hard to express clearly my feelings)

[Kevinwg]

Hello Sven

Yes you are making sense. My rant on here was the same as yours just on the opposite side of the spectrum. You have found a great place the people here are great and supportive.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Your english was clear and understandable. Your post is in the correct location and if it isn't, we will move it to the proper place on the site. The standard line on the site is to see a gender therapist but it may  be a while before you can arrange for an appointment so I am going to give you two links that may help you explore your feelings. The first is our WIKI where you will learn the various ways that transgender feelings can express themselves. The second link is "the transition channel" and will go into more detail on transsexualism. If you have additional questions, feel free to post them on this thread and we will do our best to answer them.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
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[V M]

Hi Sven 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Sven]

Kevinwg > I'm glad I found a such place! ^^

Dena >Thanks for all your links! This seems really interesting and it will probably give me some answers about my questions. I'm going to review all of this as soon as possible!

VM > Thank you! ^^ Everyone seems really nice on here!

[Anne Blake]

Hello Sven,

I also welcome you to Susan's Place. I hope that it is able to offer you the same comfort that it has provided me. There are a lot of good folks here that would love to help you on your journey. I am about 47 years your senior and heading the opposite direction on the gender scale but am also just beginning my transition. And it is great! If being 68 years old is not too old for this kind of change, do not worry about beginning your journey at 21. Good luck and keep us updated on your progress.

Anne

[Sven]

Thank you Anne!