The Talk with my adult children

[Michelle_P]

Thank you, everyone.  I so appreciate the support the folks here give each other.  I try to chip in wherever I can help, even a little, and sometimes when I need a little... Well, you're all just amazing.

I've got an hour with my gender therapist coming up the day after tomorrow, and a group session that includes folks I've become friends with the day after that, and then a highly therapeutic session with my electrologist, who has given me amazing advice and support.

I'll get through the week, and the weeks ahead. 

I'll be going out more and more as myself, for day trips to museums, shopping (of course!), movies, and just life in general.  I should be fine. 

I expected the weekend's emotional rollercoaster ride and my wife's reaction, and pretty much kept my cool, except for a little estrogen cry.  (Guys have that testosterone stoicism that I could use sometimes.  On the other hand, I now HAVE emotions, which beats being a frozen zombie.)

I'm so very proud of my son and daughter, for being wonderful people, and not flat-out rejecting me.

[DawnOday]

You could have written my story, word for word. I just had that talk with my kids recently. They took it well. Momma not so much but I think she is starting to come around. Do you have any heart disease or diabetes? That's what took me so long to decide to come out. I take so many meds that interact and estrogen causes clots. But because I have a bad valve I have to take warfarin or "blood thinner" or "rat poison". My kids are so amazing there was not a discouraging word from either one. Good luck on the home front. I can understand why you are willing to leave. Me too, if push comes to shove. Isn't it great to not have all those lies? It appears you too have carried it for a long time and that we are just following the program our brains created in utero. I gave my kids and wife all the info I could find on www.desaction.com and  Now celebrating a month and a half. It has been a lifetime since I've felt this good.

[Michelle_P]

Hi, Dawn!   No, no disease or frailties that kept me from coming out.  I finally hung a label, that I was transgender, on my differences in my early 30s.  I knew I was different starting at age 6-7, I think, when I was disciplined for praying to become a girl.  I repressed myself, faking it to make it, until the anxiety (fear of discovery in all its forms), depression, and dysphoria drove me to plan my suicide early this year.

I'm much better now.

I had hoped to take my secret to the grave to avoid harming anyone, but I wasn't strong enough to do that.  It turns out that I'm actually human!

I've told my wife and children about my DES exposure, that it is unlikely to affect the kids, but it had affected me.  My wife doesn't want to see any information on this or anything related to gender identity.  My son is very curious about the mechanisms involved and the endocrinology.  My older daughter is incredibly sympathetic.

It feels good to finally be honest about this.  There is a little distress involve in the revelation, but it passed quickly on both sides.  The kids are fine. (OK, they're 30 and 32, not really kids.). And yes, I haven't felt this good since I was 14 years old.

[Veronica J]

Your were always strong, you kept it hidden for decades. That alone takes a strength and a steel spine and a tremendous amount of courage. And you have that in abundance..

From what you have written it seems like the wife can't and won't accept the real whole you. If that's the case it be a good idea to find out if she ever Will and if not then I am sad to say it's time to go your separate ways. It seems like she is counting on the peace keeper (you) to back down and what she says. Too used being in total control and having u bend to her beck and call (evidenced by the forcing u back in the closet). As I said your strong and courage take back control of your life and find out now before things get too bad and u get stuck in a negative loop. And that is destructive in and of itself.

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