Girlfriend keeps misgendering and misnaming me.

[Blackwaters427]

My girlfriend is seriously pissing me off. She says she's very supportive of me wanting to transition, and I do believe her on that. However she keeps calling me Andrew instead of Stephanie because "you're not a girl yet, but don't worry you will be soon!" And I asked her when she's going to start calling me Stephanie and she replied "when you get a vagina." So I told her that that was wrong and she has improved on that but she still says things like "I can't wait until you're a girl." I'm a girl right NOW! I just don't have the body to match yet. What should I say to her?

[Mariah]

You need to nicely and kindly educate her. Your a girl now and not a guy. Yes, your body needs to changes to outwardly show it, but your a girl now. She will start to get the message as you go through things like hormones, surgery (if you want any), clothing, makeup, and I could go on but you get the idea. Just educate her about the difference and share with her how you feel about how she is handling your name right now. It's important to be open with are partners. Hugs
Mariah

[Devlyn]

Big hug! It isn't fun, that's for sure. It can be a bitter pill to swallow, but we need to understand that expecting someone to instantly "get" something that probably took us years to come to terms with ourselves is a bit optimistic. It's going to take time and education in most cases. Some people come around immediately, they're gems. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[AnxietyDisord3r]

It sounds like she is coming around, but you're right to be frustrated because she has said some seriously cringey things to you.

My wife is all right but I'll be honest she said and did some stuff in the bedroom to me that made my anxiety so bad that it killed my sex drive for years. She understood about transition but didn't understand anything about dysphoria.

Keep explaining to your gf that you are a girl now, and being called a boy makes you suffer terrible anxiety. She's not being clever or funny, she's just wounding you on the inside right when you need support and understanding the most. Imagine if her kind of "logic" was applied to people with cleft palates or club feet or dwarfism or any other kind of physical deformity.

I wonder if she thinks she's being feminist by defining womanhood between the legs. I think it's the opposite of feminism. Gender is between the ears, and women are not walking baby factories.

[Virginia Hall]

My girlfriend is seriously pissing me off. She says she's very supportive of me wanting to transition, and I do believe her on that. However she keeps calling me Andrew instead of Stephanie because "you're not a girl yet, but don't worry you will be soon!" And I asked her when she's going to start calling me Stephanie and she replied "when you get a vagina." So I told her that that was wrong and she has improved on that but she still says things like "I can't wait until you're a girl." I'm a girl right NOW! I just don't have the body to match yet. What should I say to her?

From your photo, I only see a female. Maybe she needs glasses? Sometimes people hang on to the past and are in denial until the shockeroo of SRS. Then, all bets are off.

[Blackwaters427]

From your photo, I only see a female. Maybe she needs glasses?

I wish you could've seen the huge grin on my face when I read that! Nobody has ever said that to me before! *blush*
Thank you

As for my girlfriend, she already wears glasses so I'm not sure those will help haha.

[jackiemitchell91]

Gosh I'm sorry! At least your gf supports it! She'll come around with the pronouns I'm sure

[Amanda_Combs]

It is true that you look extremely feminine.  My take is that you should try to take comfort in the fact that she is supportive to the idea.  Do whatever you can to sooth yourself and your feelings.  Just tell her as straightforwardly as you can, that you are already a woman, and it's important she address you correctly.  I do think you'll end up where you want to be in your relationship.  My wife, on the other hand, still asks me sometimes if I'm trans*.(Like she had no idea)  She tells me how important it is to have a man love her.  It makes my situation feel really impossible.  But as long as your girlfriend is happy for you to transition, just try to continue on through the difficult parts, because it seems clear where you are going.  And that makes me very happy for you.

[JoanneB]

Well... If you are in guy mode what should she call you? VJ or not?

My wife has been struggling for many years now with referring my to me as Joanne when in fem mode. TBH, 30-40 years of habit is hard to break. It has taken time but she is pretty good with it now. Even when in guy mode a Joanne will slip out 

Also, there is the reluctant to factor. In large part attributed to messing up in public in front of others calling me Joanne, when it is totally out of context. That is followed by the hope of hanging on to the past.

Talk to her and tell her how you really feel. Set some "reasonable" ground rules like when in fem mode the 'male' name is certainly OUT.

[Blackwaters427]

It is true that you look extremely feminine.

Well I don't know about that haha. You haven't seen my face from the side or from an angle. But thank you :3

[Sophia Sage]

People can say they're supportive, but when push comes to shove, they end up resisting.  There's a very good chance your GF will never fully accept you as female.  I mean, she doesn't respect your interiority right now.

The truth is, some people will leave you, and in the end it can be a blessing.  And some people... you will may have to leave behind of your own accord.

This isn't easy.