Coming out

[Daernorva18]

I'm a transgender (mtf) 15 year old and I think I'm ready to tell my family and friends. My parents tend to be quite open-minded but I'm still feeling really nervous. My twin brother already knows that I've been thinking that I might be trans but I haven't mentioned anything to my parents or friends yet. I was just hoping for some advice on how to build up enough courage to tell people, as I keep backing out when I'm about to tell someone even though I really want to tell someone so I can start being myself. I don't really know why I'm nervous as I'm pretty sure my friends and family will be ok with it, but I just can't muster the courage to tell them. Any tips would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

Edit: also do you think I should tell my friends first, my parents first, or both at roughly the same time? thanks

[Megan.]

Hi! They're are lots of ways to tell people, in person, a video, a letter, and many others. Are you able, or ready to be there in person? I wrote a letter with the intent of reading it, but was actually unable to speak I was so nervous!
I started with immediate family first, just out of respect, but that was just my situation.
Good luck. X

[DawnOday]

Just having the experience just a few months ago when I told my second wife and children, I am considerably older than you and I sat on it for 40 years. It ruined my relationship with my first wife. Having said that, being a dad I would like to think  my son could tell me everything and I will not make a judgement. I will however explain the pro's and con's and leave them to make their own decisions. I admire that you want to take some action to be yourself and telling your parents is the first thing to do. Getting comfortable with them knowing then comes the hard part. Telling friends, especially old friends, lifetime friends. Believe me it gets easier after the first couple. Suggest your parents get you into counseling ASAP as that will help immensely. Find a gender councillor and take at least one parent with you. It will help them understand the pain you are in. Even if they don't and you have to wait until your 18, that is not so far away. You can get some voice lessons on line, read to understand why you have the feelings you do and discover you are not alone. This was one of my biggest discoveries as I always thought I was alone. Being able to point out to your loved ones the others that are going through what you are. YouTube is chock full of video's of timelines and voice lessons, makeup tips, etc.  Good Luck hope all goes well.

[Mariah]

There is no particular order as to who you tell first. It comes down more to who you feel most comfortable sharing it with and moving outward first. The best advice I can give you is relax and be yourself. I know from personal experience that we let our nerves get the best us they tend to get in the way of us accomplishing something. Your nervous because your anxious to share something with them and you really don't know how they will take it and of course that is normal, we have all been there. Figure out what you want to tell them and how you want to do it. Do you want to tell them out loud or do want to write it done. Then determine when and were you would like to tell them. For me I tried to include examples from my life to help show them to explain it so they would understand. Writing it down might be the best away to get the surgery and then you give it or even just place it for them to find and they read at their own leisure. Anyways good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[Dena]

I just check your posting history and you asked just about the same thing a year ago. I think what you need to do is set a deadline when you will tell your parents. An absolute date would be the best but there are other options as well. In my case, I knew there were times when I would be home alone with only my mother as my dad often worked out of town. That event occurred about 2 or 3 weeks after I decided to come out so it wasn't a very long wait. Pick a time or an event not far off and do it. You aren't getting any younger and the sooner you stop T, the less difficult your transition will be.

[VictorMike]

I came out in many different ways and each was scary.  I have been pleasantly surprised how some folks have reacted.  It has mostly been positive.  Everyday it gets a little easier but there are still moments when I feel apprehensive about telling someone else.  I am also trying to figure out how to attend my high school reunion, that should be fun.