It's been an OK week for me so far, not great, but OK, except for that damn car.
It's been in the shop twice now. We've replaced the plugs, wires, coil pack, and the camshaft rotation sensor. The problem wouldn't repeat in test drives. I've had the car back a whole day.
Guess what just happened?
Yah. CE light, code P0300. One more time in the shop and I will have spent more on this than the car is worth. Keep going? Sunk cost fallacy there... I love the little car but this is getting to be just too much, to keep a 16 year old piece of metal and hydrocarbons running.
Naturally, this has to happen when I'm under an automatic court order to not touch my investments or funds without permission from wife-departing. Oh, joy. We meet at the lawyer's on Tuesday for more happy fun mediation time. What are the odds she'll let me buy a new car?
Other minor mishaps... Last night at the local rapid transit terminal parking structure, I turned a corner at the entrance, and the next thing I know, I'm sprawled on the concrete, serious road rash on my right wrist and hand, and a heck of a whack on the forehead. I think I tripped somehow. I HOPE that's what happened. Not like anyone else gave a damn. Nothing was lost but my dignity and a few grams of tissue and fluids. Sure hurts, though.
Some threads have recently mentioned dysphoria triggers, and the "dude in a dress" syndrome. That's bitten me recently. The bathroom here has a huge wall-sized mirror over the sink area, that really can't be avoided. I get out of the shower, or use the toilet, and there it is. No, I don't do my makeup in there or anything else, really. When brushing my teeth I turn my back on it. When I have to SHAVE, ugh, that's already bad, so the mirror doesn't make things worse. When I get out of the shower, though, bald, dripping wet, with THAT down there, well, yuck. Old weird dude in the mirror.
I do my makeup at a small vanity, a little magnifying mirror for details and a small built-in mirror for the larger areas. I have a narrow full-length mirror that I use to check my presentation, but avoid when not yet dressed. I'm tempted to drape the bathroom mirror, with just a small area I can uncover while shaving. People will wonder why I'm sitting shiva. Oh, the sad old man passed away...
In my old home, I had redone the bathroom with smallish individual mirrors over the twin vanities in the master bath replacing the wall-sized mirror there for some reason. That was before I was out by several years. Sneaky subconscious again.
And the hair? I'm afraid I've gotten a bit obsessive even in private. I get up, the house wig goes on. The last thing before bed, it goes on it's stand near me. It comes off when I shower, and when I apply and remove makeup (risk of damaging it, mostly).
I've got therapy Tuesday, before the legal mediation meeting unfortunately. Looks like I'll have some things to talk about this week.
On the good side, I'm making friends in the broader community, mostly via the Unitarian Universalist church activities. They did a community dinner this week, followed by their version of Vespers, which felt a whole lot like a group therapy session combined with guided relaxation. Yes, that helped.
Yesterday I was part of a little free speech exercise at the local transit station, where I later had my fall. We were reminding the hordes of happy shoppers (huge regional shopping district, and we were at the busiest intersection) that this is a season of love, sharing, and acceptance of all. Most folks who reacted, reacted positively. A few were disgusted with us. You know how it goes. It was a good experience, though.
I even managed to beat my 10,000 steps goal a couple times last week. Yaaay!
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