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An update on me...

Started by Michelle_P, October 15, 2016, 09:19:13 PM

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0 Members and 17 Guests are viewing this topic.

jentay1367

Spent the majority of my working life in the book biz and around publishing. Vanity Presses have laid waste to many a nest egg and or inheritance. Plenty of "would be" Author's garages will attest to just that fact.  :(
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Michelle_P

#201
Quote from: jentay1367 on January 07, 2017, 07:42:13 PM
Spent the majority of my working life in the book biz and around publishing. Vanity Presses have laid waste to many a nest egg and or inheritance. Plenty of "would be" Author's garages will attest to just that fact.  :(
Yep. 

We are just about finished cleaning out the in-law's house.  My father-in-law passed away 18 months ago, and was a bit of a hoarder.  He had published several books on drugs and alcohol back in the 70s (not self-published; a major publisher), and we kept finding boxes of remaindered books, author samples, and such.  Interesting how much he had hung onto. 

I got all my paperworky tasks done, I think, and now I get to go have some fun.  A couple of gals I've met here are celebrating their wedding anniversary at a concert of a popular folk singer, and they have invited me.  Music, conversation, and pleasant company awaits!

A few days later...

The music event was great, lots of fun. I got home tired and happy.

Sunday I went to the UU services, and the following coffee klatch.  There I met someone interesting, a member of the choir who was also a singer with the San Francisco Opera. We just chatted about a number of things, and then she suggested I join the choir. Huh?  I told her I can't sing or read sheet music, and she just said, "Can you breathe?"  She thought they could use another alto.

OK, I had to look that up. "The second highest part in four part music."  Uh, wazzat?  "A low female singing voice; a contralto."  Oh.  Low... "...in the range of G3 to F5..."  196 Hz to 698 Hz...

Oh!  That sounds like my target pitch.  And an opera singer says I'm hitting it.  [emoji4]

I've got that lecture to do in less than 2 weeks now.  I've been rehearsing, and think I'm hitting mostly around A3 fairly consistently.  I still have to avoid the drooping pitch at the ends of sentences.  Old male habits die hard.

I had two and a half hours of electrolysis today.  The mustache is gone except for some immature whispy little gray hairs.  More of the lower chin below the jawline and along the jawline is clear.  Yaaay!  I e-mailed Kaiser about getting coverage for electrolysis, and they kicked me back to my primary care physician.  So, I asked him about getting electrolysis covered.   Waiting...

I'm cranking out different financial scenarios for asset division for our divorce.  This generates lots of paper.  Apparently in legal practices nothing is real unless it is on paper in three copies.  I've taken to carrying a messenger bag full of file folders and printouts to the legal meetings.  I have one tomorrow.  [emoji19]

Also tomorrow I'll be chairing a business meeting of that amateur radio club.  Another interesting first for me...  I don't expect any problems, though.

Real life experience indeed...

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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CoriM

Michelle, this is exciting reading, especially as I'm just getting started on my own journey.

One thing, with the name official, don't forget to modify your ham license!

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Rachel

Michelle, I am very happy for you. Your social assimilation is working out very well.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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KathyLauren

Quote from: Rachel Lynn on January 10, 2017, 06:40:11 PMYour social assimilation is working out very well.
Resistance is futile.  Sorry, couldn't resist. :)  It seems appropriate, too.

Seriously, Michelle, I love reading this thread.  Your strength is inspirational.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Steph Eigen

Michelle,

Now that Rachel Lynn has had successful GCS with the bulk of her struggle behind her, it seems you are the heir-apparent as early transition blogger.  You join the ranks of the heroic ones. I agree with KathyLauren, your persistence and strength is inspirational.

I am sure you have had your share of tough times and tearful moments but your ability to approach the tasks at hand with optimism, complex and challenging as they may be, is nothing less than a beacon of hope for those of us that still struggle with the question of how to confront the question of transition.

Thank you, Michelle; thank you!

Steph
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Michelle_P

Aw, shucks... [emoji4]  Flattery will get you anywhere.

Rachel Lynn's long running thread was really helpful to me, seeing just what the experience of someone ahead of me was in dealing with relationships, life, and such.  I'm just trying to pay it forward, recording how my life is progressing in detail, against the broad canvas of transition.  I don't think of myself as strong, as much as obstinate, very stubborn and persistant.

Speaking of which...  Now that I switched primary care docs at Kaiser to an LGBT-friendly doctor, I sent the doctor a message inquiring about having Kaiser's Multi-Specialty Transitions center re-evaluate my eligibility for electrolysis coverage.  The doctor contacted MST, and a few hours later MST sent me a message that a dermatologist was assigned and would be in touch in a few days.  Progress!  Just keep poking until a pathway appears...

Outside the lawyer's office, my wife handed me a letter from the therapist, addressed to "Michelle P..." at my old address, the ex's residence.  She had opened it.  Naturally...  Her only comment was that I needed to have my mail sent to my place.  The letter was just an appointment reminder, rate schedule, and the usual therapist agreement.

Oh, just wait til she gets wind of the name and gender change!  What?  I haven't told her yet?  Yeah, that would be terrible for a spouse to do.  For someone who was tossed out, and told by my spouse that she couldn't have anything to do with this trans stuff, not so much.  She made it none of her business.

The legal meeting with my ex and the lawyer went exactly as expected.  The lawyer wanted to know how I came up with the percentages (he kept calling them percentiles [emoji849]) to divide the assets that were not explicitly divided.  I started to explain. that there were just two simple linear equations describing the variables, and I solved for the intesection.  He wanted to hear none of that.  So, he decided to 'check' my work, writing his own spreadsheet to add up the figures and see if he got the same sums.  One of the panels in my Numbers spreadsheet did this as a check.  So, he billed us for 1.5 hours while he putzed around with writing a 3 column 12 row Excel spreadsheet.  And he still got the answer wrong, courtesy of bad rounding.  At least we all finally agreed on a division percentage for unassigned assets after 2 hours.

Then he asked about support payments.  Did either of us want them.  I said that I did not intend to ask for alimony payments. [emoji8]  I haven't had a paycheck in 9 years.  My wife was working last year, bringing in a small amount from a part time job.  She decided she didn't want to ask for payments either.  A wise choice...

I was late to the pre-meeting pizza dinner due to terrible traffic abd nasty weather, but a couple folks offered me extra slices from their take-home pizza so I wouldn't be sitting around for 30 minutes waiting.  Then, off to chair the meeting.  We had a poor turnout, only 17 members due to terrible weather.  We got most of the way through the meeting when there was an emergency activation, courtesy of flooding, that a couple of folks would have to roll on.  I finished up, and we all went home or to activation points.  Yuck. 

No issues about my presentation at the meeting.  My treasurer, at 71 years old, still keeps accidentally 'Sir'ing me, which I poke fun at immediately.  When the "She/Her/Hers" buttons arrive, I'll keep them in my pocket, and each time I get misgendered, I'll pull one out and pin it on.  Subtle passive-aggressive hinting....

I don't have much of anything beyond Costco and Trader Joe's grocerry runs to do Wednesday.  There's a UU class Thursday evening, and then Friday, Happy Fun Time at Superior Court and the Social Security Administration.  Oh boy.  At least the result should be good.



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Steph Eigen

Michelle,
Not intended as flattery, rather a heartfelt thank you for you example.

On something of a tangent (no pun intended), the mathematically illiterate lawyering front, I share your frustration.  Seems to me I learned how to solve system of 2 simple linear equations in about 8th or 9th grade.

The other one that drives me mad is the common usage of "variance" to mean the difference between projected to actual in budgets and the like, having no inkling what variance actually means in statistics.   Percentage vs. percentile... Jeeeze!

And for this and a failed attempt at Excel, what, at least $300/hr.?

So, now you see why I hold you in such high esteem.  You keep your sense of humor and optimism.

Steph
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Michelle_P

Dealing with the lawyer was interesting.  Very expensive entertainment, to be sure, but interesting.  I found that I had to exercise quite a bit of self-control to avoid grabbing his keyboard and fixing his spreadsheet or beating him about the head and shoulders with it.   I was already incredibly uncomfortable, with dysphoria from the mis-presentation and rising discomfort and depression lapping at my ankles.  Think of it as an opportunity for personal growth.

At one point, when he was having trouble figuring out how to print the spreadsheet, I generated a set of PDFs on my laptop, put them on a flash drive, and passed them to him.  He printed them, and then pulled the flash drive without 'ejecting' it in Windows.  Surprise, surprise, his computer hung, and he immediately demanded to know what sort of things I had hidden on the drive. (The drive was freshly formatted on a MacOS machine just before I put the PDFs on it.)

*SIGH* 15 billable minutes later we had his computer up and running, he found the Post-It with his password, and I showed him how to recover his Excel spreadsheet.

I'm tempted to invoice his office for the support time and maybe my spreadsheet time.  That would probably just mess up the divorce process, though, and we'd have to start over with another lawyer.

Oh, I checked the FCC license management system.  It lets me type in my new name and submit it as a change to my amateur radio license, no questions asked!  So, I did.  Now to see if it goes through, or if it gets flagged in the gummint computer labyrinth.

Grocery shopping awaits!  Time to wander the aisles of Costco...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Michelle_P

W00T!  The first name change has come through, a day early.  At the Federal level, even!

My newly revised FCC license:
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Megan.

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jentay1367

ahhhhhhhh....the confirming joy of affirmation. Good on ya, Girl!
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Michelle_P

Quote from: Michelle_P on January 02, 2017, 05:35:48 PM
Alas, older folks do have pronoun trouble with us.  A three day beard in preparation for electrolysis probably didn't help.  There are limits to what concealer can do, and skin colored bristles are still bristles.  All through this I was misgendered 'he', 'his', and so on.  I really didn't want to cause a fuss with everyone, especially as we were new to each other and they were kind enough to invite me.  I think I may make a name tag for myself:

Hi, I'm Michelle
My pronouns are "she", "her"
Subtle, huh?

Edit:  Yay Internets!  I just ordered a bunch of buttons online.

And they are here, just in time for my court date in the morning.  I won't wear them in the courtroom, but once I have that order in hand...



Passive-aggressive much?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Raell

#213
LOL!

My experience with lawyers already showed me that I have to do the legal research myself, then present my findings and a list of things to do to the lawyers, for them to do it.

Their IQs seem to average under 100.

The last two times I needed a lawyer, including my uncontested divorce, I simply downloaded the paperwork and forms myself, went to court, settled my case myself and saved myself a few thousand dollars.

The last time I did that, a lawyer in the back of the courtroom flipped out.

Angry lawyer: "I went to law school and she can just DO THIS HERSELF?? Where did you get the legal forms?"

Me: "I downloaded them from the internet."

Angry lawyer: "How did you know how to file them?"

Me: "I googled it."

Ironically, my ex-husband now wants to transition to non-binary female, then wants us to get back together. I already googled a pile of legal links for her on how to legally accomplish this in her state.
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Michelle_P

I'm at the courthouse. The hearing is over.

My petition was granted.  The State now recognizes me as Michelle, a female person.

I'm in the queue to file the court order and get certified copies for the various bureaucracies. Later today I'll be queuing at Social Security. Then the DMV.

It feels unreal somehow. Like I'm in shock. [emoji15]



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Claire

Congratulations! I can't even imagine how that must feel



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Claire.
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georgie

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JillianC

Congrats!  That's awesome news.
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jentay1367

Congrats Michelle, be happy you live in a civilized State.
California.....lovely for so many reasons!!

I will have to have GCS to accomplish the same feat here in the land of hatred and ignorance. :'(


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AlyssaJ

Congratulations Michelle, that is so amazing.  I can't even imagine the excitement and relief you must be feeling right now.
"I want to put myself out there, I want to make connections, I want to learn and if someone can get something out of my experience, I'm OK with that, too." - Laura Jane Grace

What's it like to transition at mid-life?  http://transitionat40.com/



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