An update on me...

[p]

Wow, so exciting, Michelle! Congrats! You keep cracking me up with these threats to Mr Limpy!! 

[Laurie]

Hi Michelle,

  Happy to see that all is a "go" for lifting Mr Limpy and his buddies off. Have you a plan to keep your emotions in check this week so you can relax? If you find yourself in need of help during and after remember I can be there in hours. My offer still stands even if I have to cancel appointments to be there The only one that needs to be kept is on the 13th of November.

[LizK]

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Congrats for being so organised and keeping your sense of humour....with crashing E levels that can be a bit of a trial. Hope you now get a few days to relax before the big event...Mr Limpy...may you rest is pieces. 

[Michelle_P]

Congrats for being so organised and keeping your sense of humour....with crashing E levels that can be a bit of a trial. Hope you now get a few days to relax before the big event...Mr Limpy...may you rest is pieces. 

A bit of a trial?  Why, whatever could you mean?  The honey badgers have reassured me that there is absolutely no physical evidence left, not a single trace of any of the bodies...

But seriously, now that I know what the cause of this nasty feeling is, and knowing it is temporary and will be gone soon makes it survivable.  When I feel the blackness pressing and that sensation of unfocused anger returns, I've been using an ancient focusing chant to try and bring myself back, then dropping into mindful meditation to process this out and get back to a calm state.

It's amazing how the lack of a tiny quantity of estradiol can have such a huge effect on my mental state. Since starting HRT I've become all too aware of how running on the wrong biochemistry affected my mind all those years. I'm looking forward to exploring my state once I can stop anti androgens and am free of that major source of testosterone. This should more closely resemble a natal hormone mix for women.


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[LizK]

It's amazing how the lack of a tiny quantity of estradiol can have such a huge effect on my mental state. Since starting HRT I've become all too aware of how running on the wrong biochemistry affected my mind all those years.

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I could not have said it better...over the last few weeks as my hormone levels have dropped off and some of my GD symptoms have returned I am getting a taste of what it "used to be like". If ever I had doubts (which I don't) that HRT was right for me, this having to reduce my E levels to almost nothing have given me insight as to how well I do actually function on E rather than T...every cloud has a silver lining or so they say

[Michelle_P]

I could not have said it better...over the last few weeks as my hormone levels have dropped off and some of my GD symptoms have returned I am getting a taste of what it "used to be like". If ever I had doubts (which I don't) that HRT was right for me, this having to reduce my E levels to almost nothing have given me insight as to how well I do actually function on E rather than T...every cloud has a silver lining or so they say

Yeah, it's one heck of a way to reassure ourselves that HRT was the right choice, though.

I'm having trouble concentrating, and am feeling pretty bummed out much of the time, and I know it's just the missing hormones, but it is still annoyingly real.  I'm avoiding much interaction here because of my messed up state.  I know I am very likely misinterpreting some posts, and unable to comprehend some of the longer ones (attention span of a caffeinated dude!), and with my state of mind could easily post something that could cause harm.

It's a drag not being able to trust myself because of this dysphoria and free-floating anger (I don't know what else to call it.  It's a constant state of being P.O.'d.)

Ah well, just a week to go.  Then, blessed unconsciousness, and when I wake my body will be a little closer to my mind.




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[LizK]

Yeah, it's one heck of a way to reassure ourselves that HRT was the right choice, though.

I'm having trouble concentrating, and am feeling pretty bummed out much of the time, and I know it's just the missing hormones, but it is still annoyingly real.  I'm avoiding much interaction here because of my messed up state.  I know I am very likely misinterpreting some posts, and unable to comprehend some of the longer ones (attention span of a caffeinated dude!), and with my state of mind could easily post something that could cause harm.

It's a drag not being able to trust myself because of this dysphoria and free-floating anger (I don't know what else to call it.  It's a constant state of being P.O.'d.)

Ah well, just a week to go.  Then, blessed unconsciousness, and when I wake my body will be a little closer to my mind.




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Thank stinking thinking can be a bugger sometimes

The thing that I am holding onto the same as you, is that is I know its going to end very soon and I will never intentionally let another Dr do this to me again with the exception of when I head for surgery.

Take care

Liz

[Michelle_P]

Preps continue...

A statutory will is in place until Da Lawyer can generate the [-]boilerplate[/-] carefully hand crafted will to cover my vast estate of one used car and a one-bedroom flat full of IKEA stuff.

Beneficiary and Payable on Death documents are all filed for my investment and bank accounts.  (These override any wills or trusts under the laws of my corner of the Universe.)

Advanced Care Directive is drawn up ("Please resuscitate; Prefer being alive.  KTHXBAI!). Primary and alternate Medical Advisors are designated.

Emergency contact list is put together. 

Copies of all of the above have been mailed out, or will be directly handed out today for everyone involved.

Supplies continue to arrive and are being staged.  100 Chux, case of Surgilube, 600 wipes, spray bottle of hydrogen peroxide and two refills, hand mirror, light and heavy pads, A&D ointment, reusable 'ice' packs.  A case of toilet paper and paper towels, bottled water, coffee for 100 or so cups...

A 4 liter GaviLyte jug is here waiting to be mixed and consumed. [emoji12]

The refrigerator and freezer are being stocked.

I've been running around cleaning EVERYTHING.

I got a new mattress support for my bed.  The frame uses slatted boards to support the mattress, and the manufacturer has a version in which the slats are in a frame whose head and feet can be raised or lowered, something like a chaise lounge.  This should be handy in the weeks after surgery when I expect to be lying down a fair amount.

Other than that, not much is going on.  I did hit a private event at a local high end thrift store last night, and scored a nice dress and top, and a good winter leather jacket in camel.

Quiet times...  [emoji849]


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[Megan.]

You should sell your GRS organiser services, like a wedding planner,  but with more lube [emoji23]

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[Laurie]

Busy busy busy  I guess you will be able to relax in oh say 6 days or so..

You remind me I really should consider redoing my beneficiaries and contacts for my vast estates too now that my designated ones have disowned me. Anyone want to be considered?
lol

  You do really need to  relax a little more Michelle.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Kendra]

You should sell your GRS organiser services, like a wedding planner,  but with more lube [emoji23]

Perfect!

[LizK]

You should sell your GRS organiser services, like a wedding planner,  but with more lube [emoji23]

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Can I be your first customer? 

[Michelle_P]

LOL!  New business model?  GCS Support In A Box!

Today is my last day on solid foods. I hereby grant myself freedom from long term dietary guidelines, as that all gets totally blown off by two days on a tea, jello, and clear broth diet, followed by a day snacking on an IV.





And there goes the sugar limit!  Wheeeee!

I'm going out to dinner tonight with my ex-mother-in-law (no, really!) a sweet and totally supportive 86 year old woman with a delightful Hungarian accent. Last solid  meal before GCS!

Right now I'm heading to the grocery for frozen dinners and nonperishables.

Wow, soon, very soon...


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[Megan.]

Enjoy your meal Michelle,  the IV snack doesn't sound so tasty. And maybe I'll be ordering one of those boxes one day. X

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[KathyLauren]

In case I don't get a chance to talk to you again before the big day, I just want to wish you good luck and a smooth journey!

[Kendra]

> And there goes the sugar limit!  Wheeeee!

Sweet! 

[Michelle_P]

Thanks!

Eeep!  Kaiser just called.  I'm first up for the day in my OR.  I am to arrive at 5:30 AM on Friday.

T'were best done quickly!


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[Laurie]

 You got this lady. All systems are go. Order something delicious for supper tonight and something decadent for desert.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

[JillianC]

Good Luck!

[Jessica]

Thanks!

Eeep!  Kaiser just called.  I'm first up for the day in my OR.  I am to arrive at 5:30 AM on Friday.

T'were best done quickly!


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. Hi Michelle 🙋 I'm so happy for you, everything is coming to plan.  I might make it to group tonight, not sure if that's on your agenda tonight. 
Hope to see you soon, Jessica 💁