One of those crappy days...

[JessicaSondelli]

If I would be a cis-woman I would totally blame my period for this day... but I guess I can't use that as an excuse since I'm trans... don't get me started.... Today it felt like I got clocked 100% and those who didn't clock me hated me anyway for any other reason even though I think I'm a nice person but today I lost my smile...

Let me start my rant of the day:

I hate my upper-lip beard shadow that doesn't want to disappear despite 4 laser sessions, I hate my voice, I hate my hairline, I'm too tall, my hair is not growing fast enough, my wife doesn't want to meet Jessica, Trump drives me crazy, my makeup skills suck and last but not least, a neighbor's dog was chasing me during my evening walk and the owner shouted to f-up when I asked him to get his dog under control... I mean seriously??? shall I go on??? Oh and I had a bad hair day...

I need a hug
Jessica

[Amanda_Combs]

HUGS [emoji847] All the hugs!!!
Just try to focus on any of your features you like.  Also, do whatever calms you until you can laugh at your tough day, or at least be matter of fact about it.
Continue to abide...
And Know that I understand your feelings, I've been there; often.  I am very sorry for your troubles and hope you have tonnes of really great days, you deserve it! 


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[JessicaSondelli]

HUGS [emoji847] All the hugs!!!
Just try to focus on any of your features you like.  Also, do whatever calms you until you can laugh at your tough day, or at least be matter of fact about it.
Continue to abide...
And Know that I understand your feelings, I've been there; often.  I am very sorry for your troubles and hope you have tonnes of really great days, you deserve it! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you Amanda. You hugs are greatly appreciated... [emoji4][emoji4]

There will be brighter days I know although there wasn't a single cloud in the sky today...lol


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[EmilyMK03]

Today it felt like I got clocked 100%

Sorry you had such a bad day.  /hug!  I'm wondering though, when you say you felt like you got clocked, was it just a feeling that you were getting clocked, or did people actually misgender you by calling you by the wrong pronouns?  I ask because sometimes we feel like we are getting clocked when in fact we are not...

I hate my upper-lip beard shadow that doesn't want to disappear despite 4 laser sessions,

It took me about 8 laser sessions across 8+ months before the shadow finally went away for me.  And I have black hair with fair skin (perfect candidate for laser).  Four sessions is not nearly enough.  You are not taking longer than usual.  It just takes a long time, and this is normal.  While waiting for my beard shadow to go away, I used "Ben Nye Five O'Sharp Beard Cover".  Dab it onto the problem areas of your face after your moisturizer/primer, but before your liquid foundation.  Then finish with liquid foundation and then powder.  That should do a good job of covering any shadow.  It's what worked for me back when I struggled with my facial hair.

[JessicaSondelli]

Sorry you had such a bad day.  /hug!  I'm wondering though, when you say you felt like you got clocked, was it just a feeling that you were getting clocked, or did people actually misgender you by calling you by the wrong pronouns?  I ask because sometimes we feel like we are getting clocked when in fact we are not...

It took me about 8 laser sessions across 8+ months before the shadow finally went away for me.  And I have black hair with fair skin (perfect candidate for laser).  Four sessions is not nearly enough.  You are not taking longer than usual.  It just takes a long time, and this is normal.  While waiting for my beard shadow to go away, I used "Ben Nye Five O'Sharp Beard Cover".  Dab it onto the problem areas of your face after your moisturizer/primer, but before your liquid foundation.  Then finish with liquid foundation and then powder.  That should do a good job of covering any shadow.  It's what worked for me back when I struggled with my facial hair.

Hi Emily, thank you for your response.

No, nobody misgendered me but I got a lot of odd looks today even from women who usually just smile. It probably was also caused by me. I didn't feel beautiful today when leaving the house which caused me to feel unsecure when around other people.

I usually use some red lipstick to cover the problem areas before applying foundation and I know I'm very self critical when it comes to beard shadow and nobody might have noticed it but me... I will definitely look up the product you've mentioned and give it a try.

Thank you so much.

Hugs
Jessica


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[V M]

I think we've all had "One of those days" from time to time, what I hate is when one of those days turns into a week or two

Then you start to wonder if maybe there is a god and if you had possibly inadvertently pissed in their bowl of Cheerios some how but hadn't realize it

Don't get me started is right, first I come down sick with what I assumed to be a cold and then my internet goes down

So I'm riding my bicycle in the rain to the library just to be able to get online for an hour or so

Then I go to my endo appt. and he asks me if I'd like a flu shot and tells me that it won't help me this time but it might help me over the next few months so I don't catch it again

Okay, so I actually had the flu, I'm not a Dr. how would I know? Just wish it would clear up sooner than later

On top of all that I have people randomly giving me a bad time over whatever pops into their imagination

I just give thanks for the few rays of sunshine in between the pelting and the friends who have been there for me

Hopefully better days are in your future

Super Monster Hugs

[MeghanMe]

I'm sorry you feel bad today, Jessica. I've been down lately too, but the one thing I know is that transition is a process and takes time. And you've come so far already! I hope tomorrow goes better.

Hugs!
Meghan

[JessicaSondelli]

I think we've all had "One of those days" from time to time, what I hate is when one of those days turns into a week or two

Then you start to wonder if maybe there is a god and if you had possibly inadvertently pissed in their bowl of Cheerios some how but hadn't realize it

Don't get me started is right, first I come down sick with what I assumed to be a cold and then my internet goes down

So I'm riding my bicycle in the rain to the library just to be able to get online for an hour or so

Then I go to my endo appt. and he asks me if I'd like a flu shot and tells me that it won't help me this time but it might help me over the next few months so I don't catch it again

Okay, so I actually had the flu, I'm not a Dr. how would I know? Just wish it would clear up sooner than later

On top of all that I have people randomly giving me a bad time over whatever pops into their imagination

I just give thanks for the few rays of sunshine in between the pelting and the friends who have been there for me

Hopefully better days are in your future

Super Monster Hugs

Thank you

I thought you can catch the flu only once per season as you will be immune to that kind of virus but hey I'm not a doctor either.. lol.

thanks for your kind words and yes, there will be better days. I'm actually looking forward to today as I have my 5th laser session and I'm meeting with my therapist right after... I hope all the morons stay away from me!

Hugs
Jessica

[JessicaSondelli]

I'm sorry you feel bad today, Jessica. I've been down lately too, but the one thing I know is that transition is a process and takes time. And you've come so far already! I hope tomorrow goes better.

Hugs!
Meghan

Thank you and you know what, my transition is the best thing I've ever done (well. except for conceiving my kids of course). The only thing I would do differently next time is start 30 years earlier.... oh well...

Hugs
Jessica

[MeghanMe]

Ha! Yeah, hormones 30 years ago would have helped a lot. Of course, then I would have had to contend with a transphobic father in my teens instead of as an adult, had a very different style of gatekeeper therapists looking after me, and gotten much less effective hormones and surgery in the bargain... So I guess there were reasons for waiting too.

[V M]

Thank you

I thought you can catch the flu only once per season as you will be immune to that kind of virus but hey I'm not a doctor either.. lol.

thanks for your kind words and yes, there will be better days. I'm actually looking forward to today as I have my 5th laser session and I'm meeting with my therapist right after... I hope all the morons stay away from me!

Hugs
Jessica

I could have possibly misunderstood the Dr. but can't cry about having a flu shot thrown in LOL

I just wish whatever it is would clear up because it's miserable

Best wishes on your appt.s

Hugs

[JessicaSondelli]

I just wanted say thank you to all of you who responded, it really helped and today was a much better day. My laser tech was really optimistic that most if not all of my upper lip facial hair would be gone in a few days... for some reason, it seems like a lot of it has already disappeared. I know it usually takes 7-10 days but she used a very high setting today and I'm very positive.

That's what my face looked like right after the treatment... ouch