Genderfluid and having a male day

[Devlyn]

They don't happen very often, but I'm definitely feeling like my male side today. I'd say this is about a 1% event for me, in other words I have a male day about once every hundred days, a couple a year.

How about you?

Hugs, Devlyn

[Megan.]

Is it a bit like a holiday?

[Devlyn]

No, but I'd be willing to go home early anyway! 

[Megan.]

Never need a reason for that 😉

[Jin]

I am about half/half. I never know which side I will be on until I get out of the shower in the morning and see what clothes my wife has picked for me to wear.

It sure keeps life interesting!

Today I am all female underneath, and all male in the outer layers.

[Tessa James]

I feel that being feminine or wearing a skirt does not make me female.  Similarly if I need to do some farm and trail chores and get my butch clothes on it doesn't make me male.  My gender identity exists between my ears not between my legs or in the clothes I wear.  My many years of attempted male socialization and privilege remain a part of my character while I transition to simply be uniquely myself.  Stereotypical gender roles are also falling away as people assert their rights of self determination and identity.  Some days I feel more girly and some days I am going butch and not asking for anyone's permission or approval. 

A local transman here made the declaration that he will wear skirts, dresses and make up whenever he chooses and to me that is bold and part of our diverse reality.

To me this is the freedom we gain by liberating ourselves from the gender binary straight jackets imposed by our dominant cultures.

Glad you are owning it Devlyn!

[HappyMoni]

Male days! If I'm having one of those it means I'm probably angry, uncomfortable, and most likely sad. I haven't seen one in a long time. Of course a certain part of me is male every day. I like to think of it as my shadow.
Moni

[jentay1367]

The longer I take hormones, the less I care about the clothing and the more fixated I get on my actual physical and mental transition. I am still dysphoric to the degree that every day is hit and miss on whether boy or girl shows up in the mirror...but I know what I want and know where I'm going.

[Anne Blake]

I see myself in four different kinds of light. The most girly side, sort of experiencing the pink fog effect comes about maybe 5% of the time, kind of useless but really fun. The well balanced woman that I love has the best parts of all of me is around maybe 70%of the time. The next me is the get things done in the male world, dealing with the system and using my male presence to make it work is what I consider my good male side, ~15%. And finally there is the anger, frustration, short tempered or spiraling into depression worst side of me that is what I call the bad male side that I hate...good for ~2% to 5% and I wish it could go to zero.

Anne

[Mikka55]

I am very happy someone started posting this question.  Ever since I was a kid/teen I always felt a bit more female then male at some days.  Almost 2 months of HRT I feel great and I want to keep on transitioning.  Im planning on saving up having my Adams apple shaved and laser hair removal and eventually facial feminization but probably not alot.  But srs im not sure, cant tell for now.  But some days I feel female and other days I don't really care what gender I am(No Gender), and because of work and the environment I present myself as male, and I have no problem.  I know the folks here are not me, but maybe someone has experience in this situation.  I want to transition to a full time female at the same time I don't really want to restrict who I am.  Am I more of a gender fluid, or am I just afraid how society will see me and I'm actually female.  I want to took and female when my body wants to, and just be my me for those lazy days.

[Dena]

Makka55, there are others like you but they tend to come and go. People who do a full transition pretty much stay around through the entire process but the non binary often don't have the need for as much information. You are welcome here and are a part of our family so feel free to join in when every you wish. You are the only one who can determine what you need and we are willing to help you however we can.

[HappyMoni]

They don't happen very often, but I'm definitely feeling like my male side today. I'd say this is about a 1% event for me, in other words I have a male day about once every hundred days, a couple a year.

How about you?

Hugs, Devlyn

Dear Devlyn,
   I posted my feeling previously. I am sorry for this over site. I should have maybe asked what male days involve, how do you feel about them, and how it affects you? I couldn't tell if you were distressed by them.
Moni

[Devlyn]

No distress at all. I just find those days when I  move on the spectrum interesting. My wardrobe is distinctly feminine now, so my presentation remains female regardless of how I feel inside.

Hugs, Devlyn

[EyesOpen]

I'm very new to expressing myself honestly, as opposed to just trying to react in a way that I think people expect. For the last year or so I've felt comfortable under the term genderfluid, as the femininity seemed to come and go, though I'd never really let it out that much, even in private.

But over the last couple of months I've been letting it show, and it's made a huge improvement in my well-being. Imagine that!

Now my 'male days' are making me question the "fluid" side of me, since I go from feeling feminine, happy, friendly, and conversational to ... 'male me': withdrawn, anxious, bitter, and self-loathing. It's getting to be time to re-evaluate things, I think. I'm hoping that HRT will make my 'male days'/'bad day' less frequent.

[JoanneB]

I wish it was less but with a sick/dying/ oft times suicidal wife there are too many days I need to be a "Husband", in the more classical 'animal husbandry' sense of the word and caring for her and her needs. Most days I am simply "Me". Not totally male by any means. Not totally female either. Just being Honest and True to Myself; which is what I learned is what really counts. There are those days I "Need" to be male for my wife on top of just being me. Some days we all need need a Father Figure or someone to give you hope.

Close to once every 2-3 months it hits me hard between to gonads. Wish I didn't see "That Sad OLD MAN" in the mirror at all. Even if I was full time female I know I will. Gender ID is about 20% or so of what makes me, ME. Still some guilt and internalized transphobia yet to be conquered... if ever. In 7 years I did manage to eradicate 30 or so years worth 

[Mikka55]

Makka55, there are others like you but they tend to come and go. People who do a full transition pretty much stay around through the entire process but the non binary often don't have the need for as much information. You are welcome here and are a part of our family so feel free to join in when every you wish. You are the only one who can determine what you need and we are willing to help you however we can.

I guessing not alot of people do what I do.   I know in the end its what I feel,  and what I want.   So its perfectly fine being trans gender and gender fluid?  Like I said I do and will transition but to the point where i can look like a male when I want to and look like a female when I want to.   Its still considered trans,  but also genderfluid no?  can somone help me out a bit.

[Dena]

I guessing not alot of people do what I do.   I know in the end its what I feel,  and what I want.   So its perfectly fine being trans gender and gender fluid?  Like I said I do and will transition but to the point where i can look like a male when I want to and look like a female when I want to.   Its still considered trans,  but also genderfluid no?  can somone help me out a bit.

Gender fluid is transgender and being able to present in both genders is a solution that some of the site members have taken. It can be a bit difficult to do this but as long as the treatment doesn't involve something that push you much out of the center in appearance, it can be done. You might want to look at our WIKI for a bit more description about gender fluid/bigender.

[Mikka55]

Gender fluid is transgender and being able to present in both genders is a solution that some of the site members have taken. It can be a bit difficult to do this but as long as the treatment doesn't involve something that push you much out of the center in appearance, it can be done. You might want to look at our WIKI for a bit more description about gender fluid/bigender.

Thanks for you help.  See I always thought folks who transition say mtf are  males transforming into complete female,  but gender fluid is that you are still male but sometimes you feel female,  but you dont transition.  I will still contiune to transition to achieve more of a female body.  Thing is do i want a full transition,  or transition just enough to pass as a male and/or female. I know somewhere inside me that wants to come out full time.  Mybe its a phobia and maybe i am actually GenderFluid. I know people dont really like lables in general.   But if I told people I was trans and GenderFluid i dont want them to be like what are you talking about. As long as its normal for gender fluid people to transition then dont really have a problem.  Plus im trying to be as politically correct as much as possible and not confuse people,  and people in the lgbtq community.  Thats all I wanted to know and asked about my current situation