masculine traits

[Kensi]

I learned most of my masculine traits from my great grandfather. Growing up he was my favorite person ever. Distinctly, I remember one time, I couldn't have been more than 8 years old, I told him I wanted a Barbie doll. He quickly said no you don't, you are a man you have to work on cars and do manly things. Honestly I remember being pretty upset, Barbie just seemed right to me. He also would correct a lot of my habits. Like crossing my legs I had just always done it femininely. But I would do as he instructed on everything. Honestly that old man is still my favorite person ever. it wasn't his fault he was just old fashion like most of my family. Anyone else have similar stories?

[LizK]

I learned most of my masculine traits from my great grandfather. Growing up he was my favorite person ever. Distinctly, I remember one time, I couldn't have been more than 8 years old, I told him I wanted a Barbie doll. He quickly said no you don't, you are a man you have to work on cars and do manly things. Honestly I remember being pretty upset, Barbie just seemed right to me. He also would correct a lot of my habits. Like crossing my legs I had just always done it femininely. But I would do as he instructed on everything. Honestly that old man is still my favorite person ever. it wasn't his fault he was just old fashion like most of my family. Anyone else have similar stories?

I was born with a cleft lip and Palette so a fairly substantial(in those days ) facial deformity, my Grandmother used to hold my face between her hands and tell me I was the most handsome boy she had ever seen....I loved her so much for that because I knew it wasn't physically true, but even then I would correct her in my head. She also had very strict rules as to what "we boys" could and couldn't do. I never really knew any better until I got a little older.

Liz

[autumn08]

A story about trying to express femininity in my childhood and being told to act masculine?

The first memory that comes to me was when I was around 6 and my step father just moved in with my mom, grandmother and I. I had a small stuffed cat that I treated like my child (this is embarrassing), which I remember even speaking to one time. I told it something like, "I'm worried that one of these times my mom throws you away, I won't rescue you from the garbage in time, so I need to hide you in the closet. This isn't because I don't love you."

At night, I would bring out the gray stuffed animal, gently tuck it into bed and hide it under the covers. One day, though, my step father witnessed this ritual, and stomped into my room with his power-lifter body and ripped the covers off my bed. I can't remember his exact words, but I remember he called me a derisive word for a gay male that starts with the letter "f", and then feeling like I was reenacting a scene from Sophie's Choice, when he ordered me to drop the stuffed animal in the garbage.

I'm naturally reticent, but my relationship with my step dad helped ossify my exterior, to the point that I still don't fully understand what's inside. I want to be fair, though, and say that he was only one of many factors.

I rather not end in such a bleak way, so I'll quickly recount a recent encounter with another from my collection of father figures. He is a soon to be retired cop without any social graces, who also forcefully tried to make a man out of me, and who lives with his dog and who I listen to, because no one else will. As he usually does, he was telling me which team beat which, and I was trying to be interested, but since I know that what he really wants is a deeper feeling of connection (and for my own sake), I eventually changed the direction of the conversation.

Since his most potent source of emotional arousal is endlessly watching reruns of NYPD Blue, he can't look inwardly for very long, but I was able to help him really touch something that day and when he realized this, he quickly changed the subject to some new wires he bought. After explaining the wires in detail, he told me, "There. Something to make a real man out of you."

I laughed, and replied, "Thanks! I think I just grew a few chest hairs."