Asking my dad to take me to a therapist, advice?

[tyler_c]

Last time it didn't go well, he was misinformed by reading things on the internet and speaking to a therapist who called transgender people mentally ill and that they shout transphobia when they don't get what they want...

I have 4 links to send him so maybe he'll understand by hearing medical professionals talking about it?

But I'm so nervous? Like I was so depressed for a solid few months when he didn't get why transitioning would make me happy and thought I must be just really confused...

I just really want to see a therapist but I don't want my hope crushed again... 

[FTMax]

Personally, I would go ahead and find a therapist that you'd feel comfortable talking to. Many of them have websites and the majority use email now. Send off a few emails and see if there's anyone locally that is comfortable working with trans people. Then let your dad know that you've found a therapist you'd like to go see. That shows that you're taking the initiative to get something done, and it reduces the likelihood that you'll end up with a bad therapy experience.

[DawnOday]

That's sad. No therapist has the right to disparage a patient. Check their credentials for gender therapy. Check what patients say about your therapist. Be proactive in your review. There may be a chance your father is not locked in to a single therapist because of where you live. If that is the case, talk to Dad and see if he is willing to drive to where you can get the help you need. Good luck.

[tyler_c]

Personally, I would go ahead and find a therapist that you'd feel comfortable talking to. Many of them have websites and the majority use email now. Send off a few emails and see if there's anyone locally that is comfortable working with trans people. Then let your dad know that you've found a therapist you'd like to go see. That shows that you're taking the initiative to get something done, and it reduces the likelihood that you'll end up with a bad therapy experience.

I've emailed a lot of therapists actually and gave him a list of therapists that seemed educated on the subject, but then he called a different therapist that I don't know and have never spoken to...

There's a free clinic not far from me that has a good reputation and when I was emailing other therapists, many of them recommended them as well. And they seem very comfortable with LGBT persons, (but I'm afraid if I tell my dad that he'll call them biased.)

[FTMax]

I've emailed a lot of therapists actually and gave him a list of therapists that seemed educated on the subject, but then he called a different therapist that I don't know and have never spoken to...

There's a free clinic not far from me that has a good reputation and when I was emailing other therapists, many of them recommended them as well. And they seem very comfortable with LGBT persons, (but I'm afraid if I tell my dad that he'll call them biased.)

Is it possible for you to go to a session on your own and then talk to him about it after the fact? Therapists in general are just like the rest of the healthcare community - they need ID, insurance, and sometimes a copay. I know your dad would need to sign off on forms for HRT but I'm not sure he would for therapy. I think that'd be worth asking.

Perhaps if you were able to do that and he could see the positive impact it has on you, that would help him be more open to it.

[PrincessCrystal]

You don't go to a dermatologist for heart problems.
You don't see a chiropractor for liver damage.
You don't see a mental-illness counselor for gender problems.

Specify you need someone who's trained to handle gender issues, because it doesn't sound like the last one was.

How old are you by the way?

Is it possible for you to go to a session on your own and then talk to him about it after the fact?

This is another thing I was thinking.

By the way, you may want to ask this in the transgender forum, because I think there's more psychology stuff there.

[tyler_c]

Is it possible for you to go to a session on your own and then talk to him about it after the fact? Therapists in general are just like the rest of the healthcare community - they need ID, insurance, and sometimes a copay. I know your dad would need to sign off on forms for HRT but I'm not sure he would for therapy. I think that'd be worth asking.

Perhaps if you were able to do that and he could see the positive impact it has on you, that would help him be more open to it.

I can't sneak out, and I don't have a car or anything. :/

How old are you by the way?

I'm 17.

Specify you need someone who's trained to handle gender issues, because it doesn't sound like the last one was.

He told me I can't disagree with her; that she didn't get a master's degree for nothing.


I kind of think maybe he doesn't want to take me to a therapist because he's scared they're gonna say I'm transgender. Because his view on this seems way out of character for him. Like he seems okay with transgender people, but he doesn't want his child to be trans.

[PrincessCrystal]

It's not unusual for parents to be tolerant of things like religion and sexuality with others, but not ok with it being their children.  Think about it this way: transgender people are a group he doesn't understand, but knows are persecuted.  Why would he want his child to be one?

If you're still in high school, you should talk to the school psychologist.  At 17, you're going to have the problem of not having alot of autonomy, but you have the luxury of time.  Your bones don't stop growing until 25, and as long as you do it before getting set on a career path or settling down, you won't have to rework an entire life.

[Alexthecat]

I can't sneak out, and I don't have a car or anything. :/

I'm 17.

He told me I can't disagree with her; that she didn't get a master's degree for nothing.

But you can get a second opinion from another therapist. People do it all the time when they are diagnosed with something or are thinking about surgery for a problem they have.