To beard or not to beard

[Jonathan L]

I'm almost seven months on T and my facial hair seems to be growing in pretty quickly. I have to shave every couple of days. It's pretty patchy still, mostly on my neck and jawline and sideburn area, but since I keep shaving it I don't really know how it would look if I let it actually grow out. My problem is I feel really self conscious if I don't shave. I still don't pass, and I keep thinking maybe if I grow my facial hair out I'll actually get read as male, but I'm scared that when I don't shave I just look like a woman with facial hair. I really want to grow it out, but I'm not sure how to keep from panicking and shaving it all off. And I don't know if I'm just being paranoid that it "looks weird" to other people or something. Has anyone else struggled with this?

[Elis]

Not yet; can't grow facial hair yet . But similarly I've decided to grow my hair out from an undercut and am still paranoid that it'll look weird to other people or that it'll look too fem. I'm still undecided and tempted to just get it cut short again; especially how messy it now looks. But even with the doubts I don't want to loose almost 3 months of hair growth progress and if I don't like it when long I can always cut it short again; at least then it'll stop the 'what ifs' constantly plagueing my brain.

Also you're close to looking 100% male to most if not everyone you meet. You most likely pass now 100% but don't realise it. I was 7 months on T and got gendered correctly even though I thought I still looked female. By 8 months + I got the message that how other people see me is different to how I think I look.

[FTMax]

I went through a phase where I shaved once a week because I was worried about it not growing in well and looking like garbage.

Now, I don't shave. It's still patchy in some places but looking better all the time. I actually hate the way my face looks without facial hair now.

[Jonathan L]

Not yet; can't grow facial hair yet . But similarly I've decided to grow my hair out from an undercut and am still paranoid that it'll look weird to other people or that it'll look too fem. I'm still undecided and tempted to just get it cut short again; especially how messy it now looks. But even with the doubts I don't want to loose almost 3 months of hair growth progress and if I don't like it when long I can always cut it short again; at least then it'll stop the 'what ifs' constantly plagueing my brain.

Also you're close to looking 100% male to most if not everyone you meet. You most likely pass now 100% but don't realise it. I was 7 months on T and got gendered correctly even though I thought I still looked female. By 8 months + I got the message that how other people see me is different to how I think I look.

I've been having similar struggles about my hair, too. I was growing it out, but then got frustrated about being mis-gendered. It's possible that some people are reading me correctly, but I still get ma'am a lot from strangers, so that's really the source of my worry. I keep thinking, though, that maybe I'm sufficiently in between now that having facial hair would at least tip me over to the male side of things.

I went through a phase where I shaved once a week because I was worried about it not growing in well and looking like garbage.

Now, I don't shave. It's still patchy in some places but looking better all the time. I actually hate the way my face looks without facial hair now.

When did you start growing it in?

[FTMax]

When did you start growing it in?

My under-chin area started growing in pretty solid around 6 months on T, and I would grow that out and shave everything else. After my hysterectomy, everything started coming in pretty solidly. I usually grow it out for a month or two. I leave the sides of my head at a #2, so I'll trim everything on my face down to that length whenever I get a haircut.

[Jonathan L]

That's interesting about your hysterectomy. So does testosterone work better if it doesn't have to fight against the estrogen in your system?

[FTMax]

That's interesting about your hysterectomy. So does testosterone work better if it doesn't have to fight against the estrogen in your system?

In my experience, yes.

[WorkingOnThomas]

I could go a pretty nice little goatee even before I started T. And I didn't care if people misgendered me or not at that point. They did. But I didn't give a rip. I just love my facial hair, and if people thought I was an escapee from the circus, so be it. Now I've been on T for about two months I never get misgendered anymore - I'm sure you'll be fine. And hey, if you let it grow out and it looks odd, you can always shave it off. No biggie.

[Jonathan L]

Wow, that's awesome that you're not getting misgendered after two months on T! I think I just need to try not to focus on what other people think.

[Mr.X]

To beard!
Within a year I had quite a noticeable beard. It really helps with passing. And to be fair, I'm a lazy mofo and can't be bothered to shave every day. I collect data on a small island for my research for 3-4 months a year, and I come back looking like a homeless person. It's quite funny.
Before i go to the island I tend to have my beard trimmed to quite short, and that makes me look like 16 again. Not quite what you want when you're pushing 30, so going all beard is the way to go for me.

[Bimmer Guy]

I haven't "bearded" yet.  Being a 46 year old professional, I can't walk around looking like a teenage/early 20-something boy!

So, I take the opportunity during surgery recoveries to see where things are at.  One year ago I had hysto and was out of work for 3 weeks.  There wasn't too much happening besides a thin, yet passable mustache.  9 months ago I had first stage meta.  The mustache came in well, but I looked crappy with it.  Under the chin hair was there, but it wasn't necessarily thick.  My second stage meta is in 11 days.  Like I said, it has been 9 months since I have let my hair grow at all.  I am VERY much looking forward to seeing what goes on this round of recovery!

I can tell you that I am sick of shaving every day.  I can't imagine being a 46 year old cis male and having done this every day for the last 20 years.  I can see myself growing a beard just to be able to skip the shaving part!

[Jonathan L]

To beard!
Within a year I had quite a noticeable beard. It really helps with passing. And to be fair, I'm a lazy mofo and can't be bothered to shave every day. I collect data on a small island for my research for 3-4 months a year, and I come back looking like a homeless person. It's quite funny.
Before i go to the island I tend to have my beard trimmed to quite short, and that makes me look like 16 again. Not quite what you want when you're pushing 30, so going all beard is the way to go for me.

Yeah, it's the laziness that gets me, too. That's a really good point about not looking 16 though. Haha, people always think I'm way younger than I am, even when I was presenting as female.

I haven't "bearded" yet.  Being a 46 year old professional, I can't walk around looking like a teenage/early 20-something boy!

So, I take the opportunity during surgery recoveries to see where things are at.  One year ago I had hysto and was out of work for 3 weeks.  There wasn't too much happening besides a thin, yet passable mustache.  9 months ago I had first stage meta.  The mustache came in well, but I looked crappy with it.  Under the chin hair was there, but it wasn't necessarily thick.  My second stage meta is in 11 days.  Like I said, it has been 9 months since I have let my hair grow at all.  I am VERY much looking forward to seeing what goes on this round of recovery!

I can tell you that I am sick of shaving every day.  I can't imagine being a 46 year old cis male and having done this every day for the last 20 years.  I can see myself growing a beard just to be able to skip the shaving part!

That's seems like a really good compromise to grow things out during surgery. I've heard some people talking about no shave November so I think I'm going to try that as motivation to not shave. Really curious to see how long I can stick it out, lol.