Really confused/unsure about being trans?

[Hellboi]

Hey so, I was wondering if some of you have felt like this before maybe you could shoot some advice my way. A few years ago it kind of dawned on me that I wasn't female, and that I didn't have to be unhappy with myself like that. As I've gotten more comfortable presenting masculinly (with the acceptions of rarely passing) I just figured I was non-binary. But then I research ftm videos/info almost obsessively.

Sometimes I mull everything over in my head for hours. I'm just really confused if I'm even trans, I experience dysphoria, mostly with my voice, hips, and chest. I naturally speak/act effeminately, and I like looking androgynous more than manly. I'm scared to transition cuz of changes I don't want to happen, but it's painful wanting to be different too.

Like, take Mettaton for example.



If I could be super fabulous but still seen as a dude, that would be killer. Does/has anyone here felt like this?

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. While I knew exactly what I wanted to be (a full transition), not everybody is sure of that. The best advice is that you see a gender therapist who can help you explore you desires and determine the propers treatment for you. Until you do, I have a couple of links you might want to view. The first is our WIKI where you can explore the binary and non binary for terms that might apply to you. The second is "the transition channel" where a gender therapist will help you understand transsexualism. Discovering ourself often takes many questions so feel free to ask any you might have.

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[Amanda_Combs]

I feel similarly.  For me I was born male, but I just want to be big and strong... like wonder woman!  So a lot of things about me can make loved ones see me as more male.  But no matter how hard I've tried, being manly does not fit me.  As soon as I feel certain I'm trans* I always feel guilty as though I'm disrespecting people who actually are.  But ultimately you get to choose the path you take to try to be happy. [emoji846]


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[WolfNightV4X1]

Welcome to the club mate, I believe what youre experiencing, if youre anything like me, is that you are a man, but on the effeminate spectrum of things, basically acquiring the look of a femboy. It means you probably wont want any dire changes but you want to pass well as a young man.

If you want your voice to drop, your body to redistribute, and your face to align so you read male, do it. I asked my doctor what if I didnt want to be "too" male. She said I could drop my dose if I no longer wanted to continue changing so they would level out.

You can take testosterone until the right changes take effect, but still keep some of your original feminine traits so that you are closer to androgyny.

Whatever the case may be, good luck figuring yourself out

[Elis]

Same here. I want some changes from T but not all of them. But I need HRT for my dysphoria so have to compromise. Although I wish to look fem/androgynous to feel most comfortable.

Transgender is an umbrella that includes nb so you'd still be trans; if you feel a type of nb suits you better than being a feminine man. For me I'm a demiguy meaning I feel male mostly but also another gender identity.

[CodexUmbrae]

Me too. In my case, I'm certain that I'm a dude, but... I'm petite and usually described as "adorable" aand I kind of like it. Go figure.

I'm just certain that before I knew it, when I had "long" hair (I had it short since 14 years more or less, but not that short) and was trying to be a girl, I hated so much to see me in the mirror or in photos... Now, while I haven't tell anybody in my "real" life, but I pass as a guy... I'm happy. When I get to T and all of that... Yeah, I woudn't like a moustache or beard or anything. xD

Like you, I have dysphoria with my voice, hips and chest, and I want that to change. Maybe my face a little too. I look very androgynous by now, and I... like it, but I'd prefer to pass simply as a male, but not that manly.

Anyway, you could be a demiguy, just like Elis. Or maybe just mor like a femboy. I'm more of a... I don't know at all. I like being adorable. xD But anyway, I wouldn't put so much importance on labels. Just be who you want to be, and maybe you could try testosterone and drop it later if you don't want the changes.

Good luck!

[Hellboi]

Thanks so much everybody, I rarely reach out on the internet and this made me feel different about avoiding it now ♥
Good luck to all of you as well :3 Thank you for making me feel so validated in a world that has no clue I exist~

[Alora]

For me I was born male, but I just want to be big and strong... like wonder woman!

I am a woman trapped in a mans body. I have always secretly loved strong female characters. I have identified with them more then any other. The one thing that I am realizing the more I talk here, is that it is helping me feel more and more comfortable with my decision to start seeking GR.

You need to do what is best for you. And know that you have support here.

Love💋❤️💋
Alora

[RedfootDaddy]

As soon as I feel certain I'm trans* I always feel guilty as though I'm disrespecting people who actually are.

Wow, this is completely the way I feel - like I don't deserve to be trans* because I'm not trans enough, so that if I identify as trans it somehow undermines people who are "really" trans. It's the worst feeling, even if it's self-inflicted.

[Kylo]

I don't feel like this but it doesn't surprise me people do. A lifetime of a role, a particular body, hormones, brain structure and personal preference must all play a part.